NC still intact but need help... please..

[blgmike2]

Guys,

 

For those of you who know my story, please help me. I have been going NC for a while now. I am still having the dreams, the thoughts, about her. The more and more I think about it, maybe shes the one? I asked myself this question: if you got back together, could you see yourself with her for the rest of your life?

 

The answer came so quick, yes. i know before i said no in one of my previous posts but she is everything i want in a girl from head to toe. There are some things i didnt like, yes. but those things will come with more maturity. i broke up with her! its been about 7 months! and i still feel this way about her? stronger? that should tell me something dont you think?

 

I could honestly see myself with her forever. I know alot of you will say continue NC, no you dont like her as much as you say you do bc you cant have her, get over her, move on, let her come back, but is there ANYTHING i can do, to win her heart back, to show her shes better off with me? how do i make her trust me again?

 

one thing that does not help me: all of her friends dislike me and she is persuaded easily. if she wanted to get back with me, they would talk her out of it...what do i DO!

 

there isnt a minute of any day where i dont think about her. im desperate. i want her back.

[bwhite00]

Well first of all, if you're desperate, you have a tendency to not think clearly AND it repels women like no other.

 

You need to rid yourself of the I'm-freaking-out-can't-live-without-you mindset.

 

If you guys have been broken up for 7 months and been in NC for most of it then there's a good possibility she's gotten over it by now but maybe not.

 

But without communication you'll never know. And since you dumped her, she may not want to talk to you.

 

You'll just have to take that chance I guess but don't be surprised if she rejects and/or ignores you.

 

If you don't think you can handle that then I wouldn't contact her.

[Ms Darcy]

I think if you actually love her, you should let her go. She's been with that guy for almost 7 months and she has not responded to your recent I love you letter. You two had a relatively short relationship; please face the fact that she might be over it and moved on.

 

It really doesn't matter what we say ... the point is that she is the one making the decision not to come back.

 

Let her go. You are only hurting yourself at this point.

[blgmike2]

i agree that i need to let her go.....but then again i dont.

 

someone told me "if you love her, TRULY love her, dont let her go. if you want someone, go get her"

 

i did the i love you letter, we dated for little over a year. but we have been talking for longer than that, since my sophomore year of HS!

 

my heart wont let her go, im not dying without her..i just wish there was something i could do, but it looks like there is nothing i can do.

 

what are the chances she still thinks about me? misses me? any chance at all? how do you think she took my letter? please answer those questions?

[iBroken]

I think what you fail to see here is that you are not in control of this situation. You dont determine if you guys are going to reconcile.

 

You say you need to let her go, but then again you dont. Buddy, she let you go long time ago. Return the favour. If she wanted to be with you, she would know how to find you.

 

 

what are the chances she still thinks about me?

Dont Know - we arent your ex.

 

misses me?

Maybe, maybe not.

 

any chance at all?

Maybe. Maybe not. But right now, its not looking good.

 

how do you think she took my letter?

If you havent heard from her, it didnt affect her. Id say she read it and continued living.

 

Please answer those questions?

Its very hard to when you are asking us questions that only your ex holds the answer to

[blgmike2]

i understand that the ball is in her court. but for as long as ive known her something tells me, this "2 weeks after we broke up bf" isnt going to last.

 

the fact that she saved my email and still has it saved, brags to her friends that i wrote her in an excited manner, has gotta say something?!

 

i just dont want to be erased from her memory...i want her to one day be like "...he's still here, wow, maybe he really means all this"

[WockaWocka]

Hi Mike,

 

what are the chances she still thinks about me? misses me? any chance at all? how do you think she took my letter? please answer those questions?

 

Given that she hasn't responded to your emails, I'd say she doesn't think about you or miss you enough to take a few minutes to write back. Would you even want to be with someone who doesn't think you're worth five minutes of her time?

 

i agree that i need to let her go.....but then again i dont.

 

someone told me "if you love her, TRULY love her, dont let her go. if you want someone, go get her"

 

I glanced over several of your earlier threads about her, and I'd say it looks like you've done all you can. She has a new BF. She doesn't respond to your messages.

 

You've gotten a lot of good advice about letting go and moving on. As my own threads attest, I understand that sometimes you need to hear similar advice from multiple sources in order for it to sink in. But at a certain point you have to ask yourself if you are fixated on someone to an unhealthy degree. To the point where it disrupts your life, and hers as well.

 

If I may be completely honest I think that if I were in her shoes I'd be borderline creeped out by your multiple messages when I'm in. a. relationship. In fact I'd probably post to ENA asking people why my ex can't take a hint and let it go.

 

I really hope this doesn't offend you, I just want to urge you in the strongest terms to try to move on. She has your email address and can get in touch if she wants. Until then you should imagine life without her and then try to live it. I know it hurts. But you dumped her and she found someone new. It's not her responsibility you had a change of heart. You should take what you've learned about yourself and relationships from this and apply the lessons next time around.

 

Good luck.

 

P.S. Just saw your post above about how she saved your email and wrote her friends about you contacting her. (I guess you were checking her account?). Anyway, sometimes for a dumpee getting an "I made a mistake and I want you back" email is a vindication, a trophy. They were wronged once and now they hold the upper hand. It honestly may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with HER.

[iBroken]

^Agree with this.

 

Ill say something that I have said to many others. You are 22. You feel like this girl is the one, but I can guarantee you that RIGHT NOW, she isnt the one. And I dont want you to hold on to false hope. Im not saying shes coming back. What Im saying is, if you feel that she really is the one (and we have all felt that way about at least ONE person until another ONE came along), then let her go and if she is meant to come back to you in 2 months, 2 years or 20 years, then it was meant to be and you can come back here and say "TOLD YOU SO iBROKEN".

 

Yes, she may have saved your email and sent it to her friends however, as WW pointed out, it could be a simple "Ha, Look - hes still trying LOL". Or an angry "When is he going to get that Im not interested!".

 

I also agree with WW that your behaviour is a bit creepy. This is gauranteed to push her further and further away.

 

You gotta move on.

[Ms Darcy]

Hi Mike,

 

Given that she hasn't responded to your emails, I'd say she doesn't think about you or miss you enough to take a few minutes to write back. Would you even want to be with someone who doesn't think you're worth five minutes of her time?

 

P.S. Just saw your post above about how she saved your email and wrote her friends about you contacting her. (I guess you were checking her account?). Anyway, sometimes for a dumpee getting an "I made a mistake and I want you back" email is a vindication, a trophy. They were wronged once and now they hold the upper hand. It honestly may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with HER.

 

Been in her shoes. I have been dumped, long ago, by guy A. After I got into a new relationship with guy B, I got an email from the guy A. I kept the email and I showed it to friends. It was my "I knew he messed up email." It was my satisfaction. It helped me confirm that I had moved on. I didn't want him back. I grew and I had a great new relationship. The pain helped me realize that relationship wasn't what I needed and that guy wasn't who I wanted to end up with.

 

If she's over you and she's in a happy new relationship, she's not missing you.

 

If you really love her, then you will start to take what she wants into consideration. If you love her, you will want her to be happy whether it's with or without you. If you don't want that for her, then is it really love?

[blgmike2]

I'm sorry folks. I dont mean to make it seem like im ungrateful for the advice, you all have helped me so much in the past and right now. i really do appreciate the advice. its just not what i want to hear but its the truth.

 

nothing i say or do will make her come back and after thinking about it, i want her to come back on her own, not bc i persuaded her to. i am happy shes happy, just wish the guy she was with was me.

 

i love the quote "if its mean to be, it will" just hate waiting and hate wondering what if. i know i will find someone new someday.

 

do i miss her? of course, but i need to let go and stop interfering with this. i want her to come back, yes, but on her own terms. ill still hold a place for her in my heart but i have adopted the attitude of stop feeling sorry for yourself and make yourself happy, if she wants me, she will contact me. although hard, upsetting, and heart breaking, its whats best for me.

 

i made a mistake, now i guess its time to learn from it and use it as strength...ive done all i can to get her back. who knows, maybe one day she'll show up when i least expect it. hey, a guy can dream cant he?