Break up with my GF

[disruptors]

I just broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago, and I guess its only begun. We went through the phase of talking to each other, being friends with each other, but all I could do was talk about us eventually. She broke up with me after almost 3 years, I guess she said she needed space, time to think, time to enjoy areas in life she can't enjoy when in a relationship, but right now its really hurting. I guess she is seeing this guy now, they're just friends but she told me she has feelings for him and he does too for her, and it makes it so much harder because she tells me she loves me still but just isnt ready for us. I am her first boyfriend where as I know she must sometimes have thought of how life is without us, but I really am surprised she can do this. I love her with all my heart and even when she still does for me she is willing to take a chance to let go of all we had, to date and see what life is like. I guess I realize what she is doing but it just seems so unfair that it has to be like this. I would have rather had us break up due to us losing feelings for one another. But she does things with this guy that we did all the time, and her family is basically like my own and just knowing they're going to meet him hurts alot. I think of her constantly. The past few days ago I wrote a final note telling her i didn't regret anything we shared and that if this made her happy by not being together then I would accept it somehow and move on. I really think and know that she is the one. She says this is kind of a test to see if we are really meant to be, but why does she have to do it when things were going so good between us? I feel scared that as time goes on she will go out with this guy and be with him for as long as I was with her, if not longer, because she is a great girl and Im sure any guy would try their best to keep her. All I can do now is think of her, dream of us getting back together, but I have to let go of that hope because it is killing me. I'm so lost without her even though I got all my good friends back that I drifted from while I was with her, I still would love to have it back to the way they were before. I wish things didnt have to happen like this but I guess I am only 20, and life is still young for me. The hard thing is I see her at university everyday because we have classes together. She smiles this sad smile and it just makes me want things back to normal. I know she misses me and us, I guess it isnt enough to go back to the way things were before. We have gone through so many things together and I can't imagine doing that with another girl. We were best friends before we went out, and now its like we can't even talk, and even if we can later down the road, I swear I'll still have feelings for her, but I dont know maybe by staying friends and if there is a chance later on I will be there to take it. But that means I would still have hope, and hope hurts and kills because there is no gaurantees.

I guess my friend talked to her and she told him she couldnt take our pictures down when she tried. That just gives me more pain as my hope stays alive. I know I have to face it that even though we are in love we cannot be together which really confuses me even though I know her reasons for breaking up. I guess just seeing her with this guy right away hurts, but what can i do, life is tough at times, and all we can do is live through it. I just am so hurt that I cant function normally and I'm mentally and emotionally scarred for life. Well I was just wondering if any of you had a similar situation to mine and what your thoughts are... Well thanks ya'll take cares...!

[Neo7]

Hey man,

 

I know what you mean, and you couldn't be more correct about having hope and staying friends. Listen, I've had hope and tried to do the "friend thing" for the last year and a half. It still sucks, and I question myself quite often if being friends is even worth it at this point. If you chooose to go the friend route and keep hope, I'll have you know it doesn't get that much easier b/c you never really are able to heal b/c you still see her, talk to her, and know whats going on in her life. The question you need to ask yourself is this What if her contant with you slowly but surely begins to diminish b/c of her current feelings for this new guy she is seeing? You say it can't happen, Yes it can and possibly will. If you break off all contact you dont' have to worry about that happening and won't see it first hand, you being replaced. However, if you choose to keep contact and remain friends you will witness it first hand and that's when ithe friend this is no fun anymore.

 

Listen, girls contanstly need attention and affection they need to feel someone wants them. If she isn't being courted you'll probably be the one she calls and talks with, you'll be her confidant for all her problems. Basically like her BF again but without the privaleges i call it "old mr. reliable" if you will. Once someone shows interest and she can talk with them your despensable, it sucks. IF that person goes, or isnt' available, she'll call "old mr. reliable" again (you).

 

I'm not trying to discourage you from being friends I'm just explaining to you everythign I've dealt with with trying the whole friend thing. It sucks man. I basically didn't talk to her for a couple months, saw other chicks, did my thing, and felt great. Low and behold she calls, and calls, and says she misses me, thinks about me etc. etc. I let her back in and BAM she starts dating someone else all of a sudden no more calls (at least not as many). Its BS and makes you feel horrible, mind games girls play them.

 

Do what you want bud, if its meant to be it will happen. Ultimately that is what you have to believe. Hope this helped bud. Let me know what you decide to do

[jenniferbb]

my 4 year relationship with my boyfriend was recently ended by him...for the 2nd time. 2 months ago he decided that he did not love me....that he needed space...then 1 day later he decided that he wanted to get back together...that by seeing what life was like without me, he couldn't go on. i took him back, because i still loved him immensely, and i still do.

from that point on, i thought that everything was fine. until this past weekend, he broke up with me...saying that he didn't think that he could committ to me in the future, and that he wanted to graduate university without any ties to anyone. his feelings had changed again....

i can understand how he is feeling...just not ready to commit to our relationship... not committed the way that i am.

it just hurts because he stated last time this happened that if he ever had these feelings again he would look back to when this happened before, and not take out relationship for granted. and realize what he was losing.

i still have hope. and that is the worst thing to have in this situation. i will never heal and get over this if i continue to believe we will be together, that we have a future, that all he has to do is realize.

it makes me question what love really is....is true love the type of love we realize upon impact? that we instantly know we want to share the rest of our lives with that other person?

I just dont know how to begin dealing with this break-up...my first major breakup. with someone that i still love so much. and i live with him. i have to move out soon, which is going to be hard. seeing him will be hard, since i think i will still be living there a couple of weeks before i move out....

 

does anyone have any advice for me?

has anyone had this experience before, and found a way of dealing with it?

 

if so....post a reply, or email me.

 

email removed

[ghenghisbong]

Well i have a girl and lately she just hasnt been interested in see ing me at all. We have been out of school for a couple weeks and ive seen her once. It was my birthday on 06 06 06' and she didnt even call me to wish me a happy birthday… She said she was going to some ballet with one of her guy friends and didnt have time to even call me for two minutes. We have been going out for 1 year 8 months now and i really care about her alot. I have never trusted her since about a month after we started going out as she went to the park with her ex bf for an hour or two and didnt admit to cheating on me. The day after that i went over to her house and she had white * * * * in her crotch. I really want to just end the relationship but i dont want her to attempt suicide AGAIN. So im basically stuck in this relationship. I dont know what to do….