If a girl loses what she strongly first felt...

[Tears May Fall]

Me(21) and this girl(22) i was with for like 3 months recently broke up, i felt she wasnt over her past(her 4 year relationship), so i ended it. I did it by giving her a letter however, and she was VERY upset and hurt by it, but her anger then subsided and i felt like things were going good again, and we mightve had intentions of getting back together perhaps someday. But then i found out that she got over the anger more so by having the "screw him" type of attitude instead of trying to understand that i just wanted her to take some time.

She keeps saying she needs some time, but that she hasnt been thinking about me and her like THAT recently anymore, and that she likes the way things are with us just being friends cuz its less pressure for her and she says she doesnt really know how she feels about things anymore, but shes like maybe in the future, who knows, but i just need some time right now. She still wants to remain friends and wants to hang out with me always, i guess cuz she dont wanna lose me totally and is just hangin on to fulfill her needs for the company. BTW, we also work together, so we see each other alot thruout the week.

So my question is, if a girl loses that strong initial feeling she had from during the relationship, if it goes away, is it true that thats it for the girl, like she'll never really feel that way again? She had a really strong feeling for me, she asked me out and pursued a serious relationship and everything, but now she's just like tellin me "it didnt seem like our relationship meant much to you, since you broke it off like that." So it seems like she fell outta it with me, but my question is, do u think she has any intention of wanting to ever get back with me since she keeps saying she needs time, or that just an excuse and should i not even waste my time wondering about it?

[curbie]

I can't speak for the girls, but I can speak for the guys....or at least for myself anyway. Maybe I'm just the odd man out?? Anyway....I HAD strong feelings for this girl I used to date. We hit things off really well, and we have a ton in common! We had more things in common than my ex g/f of 4 years had! Anyhow, we've been dating for about 1 month and then I haven't been getting over my breakup with my ex g/f of 4 years. I have lost my initial feelings for the current girl I am talking to. She knows how I feel and I think I will just be friends with her. I'm so full of confusion, frustration and all kinds of other crap. Hey....I'm a Libra..I'm emotional and indecisive. It's hard being a Libra!

[tere]

why did you break up with her through a love letter?

[cassiana]

Please answer Tere's question.

 

then ponder this. I was dumped by my guy and have been researching the best method to win him back. The advice I have been given is if he contacts me to be friendly and aloof so he will value me, fear losing me and spend longer than he ever has before thinking about me. It sounds to me like your ex is either intentionally or unintentionally doing this beautifully.

[Tears May Fall]

i broke up with her in a letter because for some reason i just felt like everything i would say to her verbally hadnt made a difference up until that point and i got tired of just saying the same things to her, so i thought perhaps if i expressed how i felt in written words, since im sometimes better at doing so, i would get it through her head better. Instead i didnt realize at the time what an immature thing i was doing, and that really made her feel horrible like she didnt amount anything to me, that she didnt deserve to even have it said to her face. That was 3 weeks ago, now my question is, at this point, what can i do to try to reverse this and get her to still want me again? is there anything in my power? should i leave her alone or still be her friend? is the "time" thing she speaks of just an excuse or does she really mean it?

[Tears May Fall]

Curbie, shes also a libra actually. Also to comment on cassiana's point, ive noticed that too, that she does act unusually friendly to me, and even says she enjoys being just friends with me cuz its less pressure for her. Whenever i question her on the situation, she just says i dunno rite now, only time can tell. I never disagree wit what she has to say and try to let her be and not pressure her.

So do you think she still feels anything or might have an intention of wanting me back eventually? Do you think shes confused or has her mind made up? I only wanted this to be a break, and instead she took it as a breakup, so now my question is, as the guy who wants her back, without wanting her to know that, how do i act towards her?