ok so i met this girl...

[kennyc90]

I met this gorgeous girl on facebook. I got to know her a little bit. I'm starting to like this girl a lot. Well, there are several problems I'm facing. She's 17 and I just turned 20. 3 more months until she's legal! She's enjoying being single. She got out of a relationship in February and isn't looking back. I just got out of a relationship too, but the more I talk to this girl, the more I feel better about my past relationship. I don't have any hint that she attracted to me. I don't show any hint that I'm attracted to her. I'm trying to get to know her. So yesterday I took her out. We just got to know each other a little bit. She tells me that there are many other guys out there that try to get with her but she doesn't go hang out with them. I felt kinda good because she actually wanted to hang out with me! I don't text her a lot. I kinda keep some space between me and her. I talk to her a lot on AIM. I just feel that she has potential, but I wanna wait till she's legal if I want to go out with her lol.

 

So what are some ways that I can slowly but surely move out of the friendzone and start to get a little flirty with her? I don't want to be hasty. But I do think I have the upperhand over a lot of other guys because the fact that she let me take her out and had fun!

[Snowy]

Try complimenting her. All girls love it.

 

Say flirting things, for example, "You looked really cute today." or..."You're very pretty."

 

This can get her to think of you outside the "friend zone" a bit.

 

And if she says something like that in return, then it could be a hint that she's interested in you.

 

Hope this helps.

[kennyc90]

So today, I went to go watch THE EXPENDABLES (bad ass movie! I'm tellin' ya!!). Anyways, in the middle of the movie, I get a text around 8:30pm asking me what I'm doing. So I don't reply back until the movie is over. I keep texting her small things like what she's doing and all that. She texts me back to telling me what she's up to. So then around 11:20pm, I ask her if she wants to talk on the phone. Then she doesn't reply back to me. At 11:50pm, I text her saying that I'm sorry for making that awkward for her and I tell her that I'm gonna go to sleep anyways since I have work tomorrow. I also told her I'll ttyl her later and ended it with a simple goodnight. Then 3 minutes later, she replies to me telling me she just received my text and sorry for the late reply. She said "it wasn't awkward, really." then said goodnight. I didn't text her back.

 

I met this girl not too long ago. I went out with her yesterday. I never talked to her on the phone before. I think I'm being a little too hasty. I probably shouldn't have asked if we could talk on the phone? I don't know, I do want to tell her my feelings for her, but I'm just afraid that I'll get turned down. I want to find hints to see if she's attracted first, and I will tell her my feelings.

 

What do you guys think I should do?

[kennyc90]

I texted this girl around 5:30pm and she still hasn't responded to my text. It's my first form of communication today. I texted her "so I've been learning the song "colors" by deekay. What about you?"

 

Do girls usually take a long time to respond?

[kennyc90]

So it's already been almost 5 hours since I've texted her with no reponse. I do but I don't want to text her again. I honestly don't know what's going on lol. Should I text her tomorrow? Ever since the text I sent last night, now this happens...

[kennyc90]

So later on that night, she eventually reached out to me on AIM. I saw her online but I didn't bother to contact her first. I was suprised she even reached out to me first. I asked her if she got my text. She told me that she acknowledged it and took a nap. When she woke up, she totally forgot to text me back. I told her that's totally fine and I understand. So we had a little conversation going on AIM. Nothing really special. Before I went to sleep, I told her that she looks for different for her own kind (she's filipino). I told her that she's very pretty and has a very nice skin tone. Then right after, I told her that I had to sleep now because of work and told her to text me or I'll text her the next day and so I ended it off with a goodnight. I put my status to "away" on AIM and she never replied back. I'm kinda hoping she does eventually give me a text. I don't want to come off too predictable for this girl. I'm planning on asking her to go out this friday.

[YoungSage]

Since you're so much older (and assuming she is interested in a relationship with you), she probably expects you to be smooth and experienced. So be that way!

 

For one, stop over-thinking things. I can tell by your "updates" alone that you are seriously over-thinking every action. Just chill out, relax, and take things slowly. It's insignificant if you go a day or 2 without texting her. You certainly wouldn't want her getting sick of your pestering her.

 

Second, don't do all the work! It's ok to lay off for a bit to give her a chance to text you first. If you continue to make every move yourself, she may well get used to it and never think of contacting you herself.

 

Third, continue to hang out with her 1-on-1! Even if they're not specifically considered "dates," hanging out like this is a perfect way to display your interest. However, you must be careful to remain flirty and seem interested, lest she begin to consider you a friend.

 

Finally, sporadically mix in compliments that are sincere! If she's really as young and attractive as you say, and you bust out something like "you look cute today," she'll think nothing of it, and possibly even get irritated because that's exactly the behavior of the guys that hit on her and she doesn't hang out with. Instead, try complimenting something about her personality rather than simply her looks. Keep in mind that she's probably interested in you so that she can get away from the awkward 17-year-old boys who notice nothing but her cute face and skinny waist.

[Troublewithgirls]

I agree with YoungSage, you need to relax and stop over thinking things. For instance, I don't think you should be asking her if she received the texts that you have haven't gotten a response for. Lots of girls take their sweet time to reply if they find interest in that person so that they don't come off as desperate.

[kennyc90]

Aright thanks for both your help! I kinda figure I might be over thinking everything. This is probably the most exciting part! Hehe I still remember the days when I tried to get closer with my ex and I went through similar scenarios. It's just me and my ex clicked better so it was easier for me. From now on, I pull myself away just a tad bit.

 

So earlier today, I texted her asking if she wanted to hang out sometime this week. She said sure. Then I texted her that I'll let her. So yeah it looks like I'll be spending time with her sometime this week.

 

When is a good time I can start talking to her over the phone? I don't remember how it started with my ex. I just know that when I started talking to my ex over the phone, it was pretty much smooth sailing from there and a guarantee we were going to be together. With this current girl, I don't know when I should start? I should just give it some time right? I try not to text her too much.

[YoungSage]

When is a good time I can start talking to her over the phone? I don't remember how it started with my ex. I just know that when I started talking to my ex over the phone, it was pretty much smooth sailing from there and a guarantee we were going to be together. With this current girl, I don't know when I should start? I should just give it some time right? I try not to text her too much.

 

You're right in thinking that you should give it some time. You'll find that if you have a good night out, she may end up calling you "just to talk," or you could try calling her rather than texting her to organize dates, and moving on from there. Either way, just remember that a simple phone call is not a big deal. There's no need to ask permission.

[Shnoodle]

Playfulness and teasing seems to do wonders for the men who have come in to my life. If she's not the type to take that sort of thing personally, I'd recommend it.

[kennyc90]

You're right in thinking that you should give it some time. You'll find that if you have a good night out, she may end up calling you "just to talk," or you could try calling her rather than texting her to organize dates, and moving on from there. Either way, just remember that a simple phone call is not a big deal. There's no need to ask permission. I'll give her my first phone call tomorrow. She's doing some dance performance tomorrow so I will ask her how that went. I'm not planning on texting her anymore today unless she texts me. Today, I sent her a good morning text. I don't know how she would react to that. Yesterday, I let her know when I'm available to go out. She told me that she'll let me know.

 

I'm afraid she is seeing me just as a friend because I'm not really showing anything? With my last ex, I kinda did the same thing and hid my feelings. Then when I finally confessed my feelings for her, then she confessed her feelings back to me. I wonder if that's what I have to do, but then again, all women are different. This girl I'm seeing is more challenging because of continuous mixed feelings. For instance, last night I saw her log on AIM. She didn't say anything to me until I said something to her first. Then almost right away, she told her that she had to go...?

 

Do girls wait for guys to take initiative?

[kennyc90]

Playfulness and teasing seems to do wonders for the men who have come in to my life. If she's not the type to take that sort of thing personally, I'd recommend it.

Yeah I notice I haven't been doing that much. Hmm come think about it, I did that a lot with my ex when I first met her. I haven't done those things to this girl yet.

[kennyc90]

She doesn't seem interested anymore. Should I just pull away now? She doesn't really talk to me on AIM anymore like she doesn't need to. She's starting to give me short answer now. This sucks.. I have a feeling that she will not want to hang out with week or this weekend anymore. I'm not going to contact her at all this weekend unless she contacts me.