Alone on a Friday night.

[Eddie37]

Yep. Fridays are the hardest for me. Fridays were the one night that I was always with my ex. It was so nice to always have a date for Friday night...to dinner, a movie, or just stay at home and veg. So yeah, Fridays are really hard for me.

 

Tonight I had to get out of the house so I drove to Target and wondered around for about an hour. Bought some Milkbones for my dog, a bath mat and a book. Then I drove to this little "hole in the wall" Mexican restaurant where I was the only gringo, and ate, bye myself. And I drove back home. It wasn't the greatest evening, that's for darn sure...but at least I got out and tried to enjoy myself without my ex. I miss her, so so much.

[Nidania]

You're trying though. That alone is a good thing. It may not have been the most fun-filled evening you have ever had, but it is a step in the right direction. It's hard to learn to be comfortable with yourself. I like what you did here though. You did things for yourself. Keep doing it. Keep going out on your own, learn to be comfortable in your own company, and in your own skin.

 

It is small comfort, but it will get better. It really and truly will.

[Eddie37]

Thanks Nidania. You know, at 38 years old I've learned really well how to be alone. I went through a divorce nearly 6 years ago and for the next 5 years I was alone, single...and quite content. So I know how to be alone. But when my current ex came along the greatest thing for me was to just...have someone. It was a nice change. But she wasn't right for me. So now, after all our time together I'm thrust back out there, alone again...time to readjust. It's hard.

[Nidania]

It's like being tossed back at the start of the race, and you can't believe you have to run alllll that way to the ribbon again. You could see that ribbon before your partner left. Now it's out of sight again.

 

Metaphors suck, I know that. But I'm sticking with this one. Keep taking those baby steps along the racetrack. One foot in front of the other. In time, you will forget what that ribbon even looked like. Time is the key though.

 

Before you know it, you will be running that race for yourself. Not for someone else at the end.

[Eddie37]

It's like being tossed back at the start of the race, and you can't believe you have to run alllll that way to the ribbon again. You could see that ribbon before your partner left. Now it's out of sight again.

 

Metaphors suck, I know that. But I'm sticking with this one. Keep taking those baby steps along the racetrack. One foot in front of the other. In time, you will forget what that ribbon even looked like. Time is the key though.

 

Before you know it, you will be running that race for yourself. Not for someone else at the end.

Thanks again. I very much like that analogy. Especially since I'm an avid runner.

[AutumnBorn]

You've got to reinvent Friday night. How about joining a bowling league? Making it marathon workout night? Pumping out the great American novel? Volunteer somewhere (hospital, nursing home, soup line).

 

In order to lose the feeling of loss, you've got to gain something.

[hairybda]

I run 5K every night, when i get home. That helps... and other say.. find something else todo!!!

[Eddie37]

How fast do you run 5k?

[Hell_On_Heels]

I think you've got the right idea - kind of reclaiming yoru Friday nights.

 

Used to be date night for us, too. We'd be so excited calling each other after work and getting ready to go somewhere, either dinner or one of his gigs, or a different live band, or whatever.

 

When we got married, we still did dinners out, and then cuddled on the couch with a movie. But...he eventually started tattoo school and was ther eon Friday and Saturday nights...so I had a head start on being alone, I guess.

 

Now I do homework (I always have a paper due Friday night), then I have a whiskey and watch something silly on tv while I craft in my pajamas. I enjoy it, it's very relaxing for me...so Friday nights are mine again.

[lvsthebeach]

I am used to be alone for 24 hours at a time b/c of ex's job (24 on, 48 off), so no specific day is hard. I just don't like being alone on those days that I know he is off. It is not like I want to be with him but just knowing that we would have been together those days/nights sucks. I am still going through the process of being out of a 14 yr relationship (married 11). I have been trying to keep myself busy with friends but sometimes just want to lie in bed. I am glad to have a job to go to 5 days a week. Keeps me busy during the day. The weekends suck, being by myself even though I am living at my mom's. 36 and living at home again! HA! But it is the best for right now. I need to start exercising, I know it will help. Release those endorphins!