Should we get engaged...is it for the right thing or no...?

[mskc0511]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years. We are in somewhat of a long distance relationship and it gets worst and worst as time goes on. Not that our relationship gets worse, just the fact that we are not together gets harder and harder on us.

 

We should be able to see each other more in about 6 months. That is an estimate now, but years ago we had estimates that did not pull through. Two years ago it was a a year that we had to wait. A year ago it was another year, and now it is six months. I dont want to loose my boyfriend because he means everything to me and I know that he feels the same way.

 

We have gotten to the point where we want to further our commitment, but we dont have many options left. We both agree that we are not ready for marriage but we need to do something so that we both have some reasurrance about our relationship. We have committment charms that we got a year and a half ago, but we both need more at this point in our relationship.

 

At first he didnt understand the point of getting engaged since we would not be able to be married anytime soon. But we now understand what it would represent. It means so much more than just getting married.

 

Should we just wait and wade things out or go ahead with it and do what we want?

 

THaNks...appreciate it

[brokenpogostick]

chances are if he doesn't understand the purpose of you guys getting engaged then he's not going to take it too seriously. as hard as it is, i would say wait it out like you are currently doing...if your relationship is meant to be you don't need to be engaged to keep your bf.

[RayKay]

In my opinion, commitment comes not with a ring or promise of a ring! It is an attitude and state of mind with and without it. If you are not ready to get married, don't. Marriage is about more that just commitment and "keeping" the other person faithful! And since engagement is a promise of marriage, that should not come until you are ready for the lifetime it is meant to be. Enjoy what you have now, and see what happens as you go along.

[Mar]

These guys are absolutely right. Engagement is no promise of commitment; that comes from the heart. If you two are meant to be together, a ring isn't going to make a darn bit of difference in that outcome.

 

Wait it out and see what happens when you two are able to be together again. Think about it: a ring is nice, but the distance is still there, and, along with it, the problems you're experiencing. If there are problems with commitment, then you two need to figuratively sit down and hash out where the problem lies, and why. A ring will give you the fuzzies for a couple of weeks, but then the old problems will resurface and it will be that much harder to face them because you have this added pressure of engagement.

 

If you're feeling some sort of strain, you both need to figure out where it's coming from, and why. Obviously, distance is part of it, and will cause strain on any long-distance relationship. But if the core feelings of love and commitment are there, you don't need a piece of jewelry to confirm that. You only need to keep that feeling in your heart.

 

Mar