hurting, i feel like telling my whole story.

[eikal]

Okay... im just in a bad place right now and need to tell the whole story to someone so here it is.

 

It all started in august of last year. I was in a 2 year relationship with a girl that i loved. We broke up in august, I was devastated, i did what we all do when we lose what we love. I was hooked up with 2 girls in a 2 month time period only a month after the fact. They were meaningless to me but helped me cope with the pain. A month later after that i met a girl, we hit it off, and we dated until january. We both were fed up with eachother so we ended it mutually and still remain friends. I stayed single for the next few months, not really hurting just feeling good and living life. Then i met a girl in april, but this wasn't like the other girls. She wasn't the most beautiful thing to walk this earth ( i admit i am shallow.) but something pulled me to her, we began dating soonlly after. Everything was great, she went to church and i deeply admired that. She was a good person. Fast forward to july, things for me are great, however not for her. She tells me she wants go out and do more, she's tired of just laying around. She didn't care what we did as long as we were doing something. I understood, but did not act, I felt as if i didn't have to, she would just deal with it. A few weeks later, things started to look up we had been fairly active date-wise up until 1 week ago, she left to visit her dad for a few weeks. I told her i would call her everynight, i never did, we only texted, 3 or 4 days into her absence she reminds me of what i said about calling her, i just said. I'm sorry. and that was it i left it at that. 2 days later, i tell her i want to resume sex when she comes back (we had stopped because of me, i am on medicine that reduces my sex drive and i just didnt enjoy it.) this made her upset, she told me she won't start having sex just because i want to and go through the pain again. (she is a small girl and i am a big guy.) I got upset and argued with her for a little bit. She said she'd had enough and finally i appologized and hoped to make things better. The next day was OK, we texted a little bit. Later that night i find out she went drinking with a friend and they went to a roller rink. I got jealous and showered her with questions about if there were guys there or not. She apparently still mad from last night, snapped at me and told me i don't trust her and she's sick of all of this and thinks we need to take a break. I tried to pull my "i'm sorry" routine but it didn't work this time. She said sorry is just a word and i can only say it so much. After fighting and crying over eachother we ended the conversation for the night, split up. The next day we talked and she said the past few days were just the last straw for her, she said her feelings for me had been shaken because of me being lazy in the relationship and the past few days just removed the last few feelings she had for me. She said she doesn't know if she can get them back, she said she just wants to enjoy her time at her dads without crying and we can talk when we get back, but she will not guarantee anything. She said maybe we could be friends and take it slow but she said even then she doesn't promise we will get back together.

 

So, now i'm here back at this site, i know what i did, but it can't fix it. I know everyone says NC NC NC, i did that with my 2 year relationship last year, it worked, i got over her. But i dont want to get over this one, to this day i can't look my 2 year ex girlfriend in the face. I have not seen her in months and never want to again. I don't want it to be that way with this girl, and what i don't understand is we only have dated for 3 months, why do i feel so strongly for her? Why am i so sure about this girl? I feel just as bad as i did when me and my ex girlfriend of 2 years broke up. There's something about this girl that has me. I know what i've done and i want to work to make it right but first i have to get her to see that i've changed and the only way i can go about doing that, she said this, is to be her friend and prove it. Yes, it is a risk, if it does not work i'll end up right where i am now. So truthfully what do i have to lose. I'm willing to go through this pain again for this girl. So i'm doing it.

 

i just wanted to talk to someone because i have no one to talk to, thank you.

[Live-N-Learn]

Well, to be honest, it sounds like you really messed this one up and ran her off. Your attitude was very poor. She told you she wanted to do things with you and you basically did not act and said she just needed to deal with it. That is not cool. She was honest with you and you did not respond.

 

You promised to call her every night and did not. I am not sure why you did not follow through but it may be too late. I really see her side on this one. Sorry, if I sound harsh but you may have to chalk this one up to experience and do better in your next relationship.

[eikal]

she says the same thing, im not giving up until theres nothing left of me.

[agatha]

lesson 1: you don't have to promise anything. but once you put your word to something, keep it. if you say you are going to call, do it. or don't say you will call.

 

not doing it is bad -saying you will do it and not doing it at all is a HUGE deal breaker.

[Lastchallenge]

Give her the space while she's at her dads and shell feel better. You still have a chance because she said shell talk to u when she comes back, I thnk u need to get your act together when she comes back so u look convincing for her to give u a chance....