I feel pressured

[a_girl]

Hi, i just joined here and i have this problem with my boyfriend.

 

Im 16 and he's 18. We are pretty close and spend alot time together. Weve been with each other for about 4 months and he really wants to have sex with me. Weve done pretty much everything apart from sex, but im still a virgin and im not exactly ready yet. We have both spoken about this many times before and he says he understands

 

So the other night when i was at his place, he was trying it on with me and basically attempting to have sex with me for the first time. I told him to stop and that i wasnt ready to do it yet, and he just kinda flipped and got all mad. He told me that i was out of order because im always leading him on and acting like im well up for it. He also questioned as to whether i trust him or not, and said he's waited 4 months for me, so whats the problem? I told him i just wasnt ready yet and i dont think he understands that anymore.

 

I dunno, i wouldnt say thats how i act around him, and im not sure where he gets the impression that im ready and up for it. Im kinda very playful and maybe he misleads that into thinking other things. I now feel this need to give him what he wants as he's clearly fed up of waiting on me. I really like him and he says he feels the same way about me. I was just surprised at his reaction when i told him to stop, and now feel very pressured about sex with him as hes expecting more from me. Im not sure what to do. I know hes not a virgin which never really botherd me before, but now i prefere and think its better if i lost it to a guy thats a virgin also. I like the guy alot and we have a great relationship, im just not sure what to do right now.

[winkybear]

he shouldnt be forcing u into sex.U done the right thing, knowing what u want. He should be more understanding. Maybe u and him should have a talk about this (not the loud ones ). Tell him that you're not ready and sex isnt everything in a relationship. Make him really understand that you're not ready and he has to respect that decision. Its not like its gonna hurt without sex, right?

[CarterJonas]

Don't be pressurised into doing something you are not ready for. If your boyfriend respects and loves you he will wait until you are ready.

[piscesprincess]

It's your body. Respect yourself, which i am sure you do or you would have just had sex. If you ever feel preassure you have a right to simply say NO! If you does not speak "human" then walk away. Afterall, we are not monkeys...

 

No one can touch you w/o your permission- keep that in mind & be strong

[bleeder]

Hi A_Girl,

 

Good advice posted so far.

 

If your boyfriend really loves you, he would respect you. Your decisions and thoughts should come first, before the sex. Do not let anyone coerce you into anything you do not want to. Stand firm and make him see that.

 

Take care.

[HappyFunnyFoo]

Be careful. If this forced behavior continues, you should have a serious discussion with him and bail out if it gets much worse. You don't want to be raped.

 

If he truly cares about you he will NOT force you to have sex. I truly care about someone, but I will NEVER force them to have any form of intercourse.

 

Unlike this guy, I held a lengthy conversation with my partner and that created some moral understanding. We know what each other's limits are and swear to abide by them. For her, it's no sex before marriage. I will hold true to her beliefs no matter what. That conversation was months ago for us and I'm having no problems at all, even as a guy. We've never crossed any lines.

 

I'm not saying your boyfriend is a bad person, just that if he's pressuring you to have sex, you need to reconsider the relationship no matter how much you two have feelings for each other. Sex will probably ruin the relationship.

 

Good luck.

[Mun]

Hi there, Just because he has been good to you and waited for you for 4months does not mean you "owe" him sex. (A man who cares about you will be happy just to have you around him, he won't expect payback)That is wrong and he is wrong for pressuring you into it or trying to make you feel guilty. I hope you can see this.

 

Maybe he thinks you are sending him mixed signals, dressing sexy, being playful but that doesn't mean you are inviting sex. You can be sexy without having sex.

 

If he truly cares for you he will understand and will stop pressuring you.

If he leaves you, then trust me would have left you after sex anyway.

 

You have every right to wait until you are ready to have sex.

 

Love

[sunnihunni]

yeah....i agree with what everyone has said so far!!

 

i just wanted to add that when ur b/f says that hes waited for you for 4 months...well idk...just 4 months doesnt seem to be that long of a time especially when youre only 16 (so am i)!

 

but you shouldnt do anything youre not ready for...if he loves you he'll understand!

[lady00]

He isn't respecting you at all. If I were you, I'd ditch this guy asap. He shouldn't be getting mad when u don't want to have sex. You have the right to say no and if he gets angry then he's the one with the problem. What he's doing isn't right. And four months isn't a long time to wait for a virgin to be comfortable having sex. I'm not saying there is a set time frame for this and you should never feel like he's waited enough until you are sure it's what you want to do. Sex can have a lot of repercussions so it is wise of you not to jump the gun.