Progression from online to dating to relationship

[Stanton]

What is the typical progression from meeting online to being in a relationship? I read stories on here about two people meeting and going out 2-3 times a week, talking on the phone chatting, and within a month they're exclusive. This just can't be the norm, right?

 

My latest online contact ... we emailed first for a few weeks then talked on phone, and then met for coffee. We seemed to have good chemistry from the start. Went out on a date a week later and just had our second this past week. A little kissing at the end of each date and nothing more. But she doesn't email, text, or call me at all and so I only talk to her on the phone when setting up a date. Is this normal?

 

I'm pretty sure that she's multidating but I haven't (and won't) ask so maybe that's why. I have no problem with it because it seems every woman that I meet is doing the same. So I have to adjust. I'm still open to meeting other people too but I'll only be intimate with one person at a time and right now my interest is in her.

 

But I wonder, how many dates should I go before expecting to talk about being exclusive. I'm not there yet and don't want to rush it but I have a fear of being led on when dealing with a multidater. As it is now, I have to keep my feelings in check and yet remain excited about her and take her out and have fun while she decides on which guy to pick from the online menu.

[BellaStranger]

Multi dating is not unusual! And indeed, I feel nowdays, necessary if you want to find the right guy! I have always gone from one exclusive relationship to another without really dating and that's never really worked out for me!! Now I'm dating, the old fashioned way...guys from the Internet, friends of friends, guys iv known for a while! Essentially I'm just out of a long term relationship, so I'm really not ready for any more than this...so I don't know what I'd do if one guys wanted to take it further!! I think u find, when you dating this way, things progress natually, you find ur spending mote and more time with one guy, thinking about one guy more, contacting him more and things move on and the others disappear!!

 

I think it's a bad sign she's not contacting you, but she might be playing it cool, or just not ready yet? I would try spending more time together before mentioning it...but just do it when it feels right...there's no set time...and the worst she can say is no, and that just frees you up to spend time with someone else!!

[Batya33]

For me it worked exactly the same once we met in real life and I made sure to meet in person ASAP after our first email and first phone call. I didn't have time or the desire to type/talk for more than a few emails and one or two phone calls before meeting in person. My one serious relationship that started sort of like that (a personal ad) - we met within a week or so of exchanging letters/phone numbers, and after going out a few times we were exclusive, and dated for about 2 years. That was many years ago. Through on line sites, I usually met the person within a week of the first contact, the first real date after that was within a week of that and the longest I dated anyone from an on line was a few momths. I was somewhat serious with a few of those men.

[testcase]

Hm I mean really only you two know. You'd have to ask her whats up. Maybe you can ask her on the 3rd of 4th date? Multidating is what it is. If you aren't multidating and she is she has very little pressure while you are already pretty heavily invested in this, at least emotionally, it seems. I'd say just keep dating a bit try not to get too involved in one unless you, like bella said, become more naturally involved in one.

 

I'm dating between 2-5 girls right now... and believe me I never thought I'd be in this situation. It can be high stress but it's easy on your emotions because if one or two disappear on you, you don't really care too much.

[MalibuOne]

Women are really getting into multidating these days. I know I have done it. It's like testcase says, if one pulls a fade, you're not so heavily invested that you're not so knocked out about it.

 

The fact that she's not e-mailing or contacting you is not necessarily bad. She may just not want to appear desperate or needy. Some guys get all bent out of shape if there's too much contact too fast. They prefer to let the man take more of the lead. You might try talking about what her relationship goals are. I.e., is she looking (ultimately) for a long term relationship? Hoping to get married in the near future? Just wanting to go out with different people and enjoy herself? If you explore those areas, you might get more insight into her thought processes.