Online dating is the worst!

[25something]

Okay so I finally signed up for a dating website online and boy oh boy. Please don't take this to any offense or call me shallow but 3 out of the 50 men that did write to me were the only ones I would even consider. Alot of people online sound phony, desperate and just too into themselves....and gosh all the creepy people....yikes! (Not saying all, just some)

And did I mention the bashing on woman or their ex (vice versa) that some of these ppl put on their profiles? Gosh what a turn off!

 

It is to the point where I feel like just not even trying anymore. I'm not sure how people can find someone from online but geesus this experience has made me lose even more hopes of finding a great person.

 

My questions to all of you is?

What is your experience with online dating? And Would you do it again?

[sunday2010]

don't worry its nasty nasty in australia as well.........

 

met my ex online so theres your answer.I've been on tons of dates off online and none of them go anywhere....

 

looking at other options myself... no hope for online anymore.most paid dating agencies are reporting in australia people coming back to them because online is a disaster!

[wsim]

While I still have an online dating account.... my expectations and hope has diminished to almost nothing. I may just give up and delete the whole thing after the end of the year if still no results. As a guy, it isn't easy. Being myself just doesn't get many interested, but what else is new lol?

 

Have tried this for about one year and never been on a single date. Some girls do reply to my messages and they are either not serious, sheltered or shy (beyond extreme) or pretty much ignore me once I do start to initiate interest to meet or go out sometime. I talk to a couple as IM friends but that is it.

 

I have heard of some people who have had success but the best advice is to go in with very low expectations and also try to meet people in real life as well. From my experience, it feels like I have wasted my time and clearly not getting anywhere. Never tried using any of those pay sites though.

[Fudgie]

aww I'm sorry this happened to you. Please don't lose hope! *hugs*

 

I met my boyfriend online. It's hard work and you have to "keep at it", even if it means going to another dating site (every site is different) and re-writing your profile. If you're a girl, you'll get lots of messages and you're right, MOST aren't even worth considering. Relatively few are worth looking at. Luckily, my boyfriend was one of them.

 

Don't give up! Maybe online dating won't pan out but it's worth a shot, especially if it's free. I would try another site and also keep your "IRL" options open.

[WomanWriter]

I have not found success with online dating. I get a lot of mail from older men or men I am not looking for (which is weird because my profile says I'm looking for a Christian but I get tons of people who are athiest...I wonder if they even read what I write).

 

The few that I *am* interested in don't pan out. There was one guy who was kinda cute and sounded smart, so I agreed to a date with him. We went walking in the park and all he did was talk about his high school days (bragging). He was nice enough and it wasn't a horrible time, but there was definitely no chemistry.

 

I find most of the guys to be arrogant, insulting, creepy, or just way too passive. Several guys have asked me out, but always ask what *I* would like to do. When I tell them, they say "that's cool. What time? Where?" etc. like I have to be the social director. It's annoying. No men take the time to suggest anything or plan anything, especially based on what they read. So many guys don't even read. They ask q's that are already answered on the profile. And then there are the ones that just cut and paste their profiles in a message. I just had two of those back to back. There wasn't even a greeting!

 

A couple days ago, I found a decent-looking guy with a subject line like "Are there any nice girls left?" He talked about how he had been burned and just wanted someone sweet. I wrote him a friendly email and he didn't even respond. He wasn't even half as cute as my exes.

 

So I haven't had good luck either...

[Kanilov]

I"v only met creeps & frogs so far

[25something]

I also forgot to mention this one guy who kept writing to me but he kept spelling "DATING" wrong? Hello this is a freaking dating website......the word dating is just right up there if you want to know how to spell it correctly....

 

=( I'm so unhopeful and sad.....

[newwave]

This was my experience too. I had a year (or was it 2?) membership to Match and never met "the one" there. Most either bashed their ex right away, didn't look that great (not that I'm obsessed with looks, but not interested in 400 pound guys) or yes, were desperate. I got a few sad emails from people who obviously were angry in life. A few guys thought we were a couple because we met once for a pre date. I got so many guys who didn't read what I was looking for and responded anyway. Most of the guys who contacted me were fathers, and when I told them I don't date dads, many got upset. Then there were the guys only looking for sex, and the married men. I liked one guy, we met a few times, then I found out he was married!

 

I probably won't try it again unless I get desperate and all my other avenues are closed (guy I like doesn't go farther than what it is now, singles group don't work, no one I know can introduce me to nice guys, etc).

[25something]

LOL you're so funny I was laughing so hard when I read your experience with dating online because I could just totally relate to them all. And Yes I forgot to mention that there are so0ooo many unhappy married men searching...yikes!

[newwave]

It's sad isn't it? I know people who met great people online, but I never met the right one. I met a couple of nice guys, but there was nothing there. Otherwise, mostly a waste. I've heard something like 40% of the men on dating sites are married.

[Fudgie]

I think it's awful that there are married men on dating sites.

 

I think places like Match and eHarmony should require identification verification and checks to make sure that members signing up are NOT married. It would cut down on the #s of members for sure, but at least everyone would be single.

[coastalgirl]

I have tried online dating off and on but either really old guys contacted me, or guys the same age as my son. I have a friend who married a guy she met online but after a few years it's not great with them. Another friend who continues to date online guys but has been doing this for years and never met the one. Is she a serial dater, I don't know but I find it weird that she keeps at it. But good for her if that suits although I know she wants to meet the one and get married. She is younger than me.

 

One experience. Met a guy who contacted me. Did not like his photo but thought I should stop being so picky. Met him at a coffee shop. He looked 20 years older than his photo, why do guys do this? He was sitting down and when I walked over he didn't even stand up to shake my hand. Great start. I felt like leaving then but forced myself to sit there for 20 minutes listening to him tell me that all the women he has met want to get married. Yah right buddy!

 

I was out of there. I have been on a few dating sites, free and paid. I have tried eharmony and had no success there either. I don't like online dating but keep going back to it when I don't meet anyone. I don't want to get married again, just want to meet a nice guy as a boyfriend but in my age group they are few and far between. I am dating someone now but it is long distance and neither of us wants to move so even though it's frustrating I keep seeing him as we get along great. We care for each other but it is complicated with kids etc. I would just like to meet someone in my city but am afraid it is not going to happen for me.

[The Archer]

I met my partner via a dating site but I had to meet a lot of women before her. It’s a matter of sorting through all the profiles and meeting people.

 

Also when it comes to this sort of thing the biggest factor could well be the type of site you use. Enotalone, although not a dating site, has managed to create a mostly respectable atmosphere where abuse etc is not tolerated. This in turn attracts the kind of people you might want to chat to.

It’s the same for a dating site. The “moderators” of the dating site need to put in the effort to create a site which has a strong bent towards respect and relationships (as opposed to casual).

 

If you cant find a good dating site then look harder. If you still cant find a good site then someone should really think hard about creating one.

 

I was talking to one of my friends about this recently. He’s gay and looking for a long term loving relationship but the gay dating sites are terrible. Not aimed to this at all. If it was me I’d look at starting my own site.

 

There seems to be a shortage of dating sites aimed at finding a long term relationship but there is not shortage of people to fill such a site. Trust me, such a site can be created.

Personally I think it would be a fun project! Plus a good business opportunity.

[newwave]

I think part of the problem is because people expect dating online to be like in real life. The thing is it's not, and you have to get to know them. Because of this there are many scam artists. I think people had success in the early days of online dating because it was mostly people truly looking to be with someone. Now, it's either people looking for sex, people looking to con others, etc.

[25something]

I think part of the problem is because people expect dating online to be like in real life. The thing is it's not, and you have to get to know them. Because of this there are many scam artists. I think people had success in the early days of online dating because it was mostly people truly looking to be with someone. Now, it's either people looking for sex, people looking to con others, etc.

 

Yes I would agree with you..and its sad because there are those who are really looking for a compatible partner but instead we get to deal with all these horny, disgusting, losers who are preying on people for money or sex etc.

I decided to close my account today, I couldn't even last three days on there. The amount of losers and freakazoids has done it for me, and people keep telling me I need to just settle and quit being picky, but you know what I've decided I'm not going to settle for just any freakazoid that walks down the street or hits me up on one of those pathetic dating sites =(

[peanutbutterandjelly]

ive had the worst luck with online dating. I hear about women getting flooded with messages, but I have gotten 2 in the past 3 weeks. One guy was married and the other guy did not have a single thing written on his profile. I met my former ex online on myspace not a dating site, so i still have hope... ive been checking out other online things though... like more social networking sites, link removed, and craiglist. I tried the link removed free communication weekend this weekend and it was an absolute joke. It kinda makes me not want to ever pay for online dating.

[newwave]

Yes I would agree with you..and its sad because there are those who are really looking for a compatible partner but instead we get to deal with all these horny, disgusting, losers who are preying on people for money or sex etc.

I decided to close my account today, I couldn't even last three days on there. The amount of losers and freakazoids has done it for me, and people keep telling me I need to just settle and quit being picky, but you know what I've decided I'm not going to settle for just any freakazoid that walks down the street or hits me up on one of those pathetic dating sites =(

 

I often get that I'm picky too and should settle. While I have lowered my standards on a few things, others I can't. I'd rather be alone than deal with things I can't handle. I've become very leery because of meeting a few guys online who weren't what I thought they were. Not to mention everytime I come accross a desperate or clingy guy I assume either he's mentalliy ill or a con artist preying on me.

[25something]

I often get that I'm picky too and should settle. While I have lowered my standards on a few things, others I can't. I'd rather be alone than deal with things I can't handle. I've become very leery because of meeting a few guys online who weren't what I thought they were. Not to mention everytime I come accross a desperate or clingy guy I assume either he's mentalliy ill or a con artist preying on me.

 

Do people just assume that because an individual is single, they should just settle for anyone? And its usually those people who are in relationships that say that to me.

 

Thats right, I'd rather sit here alone than deal with things I can't handle. Meeting ppl online is just sad!

Desperate and clingy types are the worst because really you never know * * * they are going after! I always assume they're going to use me as a rebound or yes another con artist....yikes

[newwave]

Do people just assume that because an individual is single, they should just settle for anyone? And its usually those people who are in relationships that say that to me.

 

Thats right, I'd rather sit here alone than deal with things I can't handle. Meeting ppl online is just sad!

Desperate and clingy types are the worst because really you never know * * * they are going after! I always assume they're going to use me as a rebound or yes another con artist....yikes

 

In my experience, yes people think one should settle, especially if one is older. I have a strict no dating dads policy. I have dated fathers and it's a nightmare so I never would again. However, that hasn't stopped people from saying I am being picky for this. Of course most of the people who tell me I need to lower my standards on this never even dated dads, which I find hypocritical. I don't like clingy guys either because I don't want a guy to think we are a couple because we meet one time. I don't want to see any guy everyday in the early stages, or talk everyday. I had a boyfriend like that previously and it drove me nuts (great guy but too clingy).

[Minx2012]

OH WOW...YES IT IS. A loonnnggg time ago, around 10 years ago, when I was 20, I tried it for a bit, because it seemed to be the " rage ". University students started getting into the habit of joining sites and learning all these cool " computer lingo " ( like lol..lmao..etc etc ). Anyway, I joined a site to try it out and I found it to be addictive ( the addiction was actually meeting people anonymously online and having long conversations with them over the internet, about everything ). It's kinda like this forum, where you go on and express yours fears, desires and secrets.

 

But eventually, after 2 years, I found it to be too weird ( or maybe it was bc I started becoming busy with University studies, traveling, partying too much with people who actually existed in my immediate social circle etc ). But I also met a weirdo on there ( an ex of mine - who I have officially deleted off my entire dating history as if he NEVER existed bc I am so DISGUSTED AT MYSELF for ever dating him ). I met him online and he turned out to be the biggest, creepiest stalker ( cops got involved, bc when I broke up with him over the phone, he drove 16 HOURS, to cause a scene where I lived. It was pretty scary ). After that, I never went online again.

[Aaliyah]

I'm done with online dating.. It's too much of a hassle and it seems like most of the people on those sites have some sort of issue from my experiences. I met a guy at one point who I thought was great! We were going out on dates etc etc. Then he changed and did a complete 180 on me and started getting verbally abusive, etc etc and I later found out he was married with a kid.. Long story.

 

The other men I've met turned out to be players. Usually talking to other women on the sites and having sex with them, all the while playing with my head telling me that they've falling for me etc etc and they want to get serious until they get bored with me and disappear and change their numbers.

 

I met one guy that lied about who he was. Sent me a fake photo of some athlete and said he was my age which was 23. I met him and he turned out to be some creepy 50 year old bald headed man who was desperately telling me not to walk away and give him a chance. I'm sorry but he lied and I walked out and got back and my car and changed my number.

 

On another note, I've made a couple of friends online but nothing serious to the point of dating so I pretty much give up online dating. I'll just wait for a man to come into my life.. if that ever happens..

[newwave]

I once read a story that said almost everyone lies on dating sites about something. I know weight and age tend to be common lies, but apparently height is the biggest lie for men. For women it's weight. I too have met people who lied about their age, height and weight and have walked out of the pre date. If they lie already, they probably will lie about other things, like being married.

[Aaliyah]

I once read a story that said almost everyone lies on dating sites about something. I know weight and age tend to be common lies, but apparently height is the biggest lie for men. For women it's weight. I too have met people who lied about their age, height and weight and have walked out of the pre date. If they lie already, they probably will lie about other things, like being married.

 

That's one of the reasons I just stopped with online dating. I've ran into too many game players and liars. I've also ran into people who are cool, but those are so rare to find. You really have to weed out the bad ones before you get to the good ones.

[25something]

WOW, I cannot believe that creepy 50 year old bald headed man used a fake photo to get you out to meet him, I'm glad you walked away because I would of did the same thing as well.

 

That is really sad, oMG this has given me another reason to NEVER to join one of those STUPID DATING SITES again!

[newwave]

Sadly, the cool people are very hard to find online. I often wonder when I meet someone in person if I deleted a cool person instead. That's another problem with online, you never know who's cool and who's not.