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Would You Take The Help/Advice From Your Mate's Ex If They Were Sincerely Willing to Help You?


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My bf's ex, who is now married, is a doctor and I have been dealing with extreme anxiety lately. She has volunteered to provide me with information and I have a tremendous amount of respect for her and know that she is well known in her field. However, I can't help but think about the fact that my bf at one time was in love with her. She never felt the same way though and this was when they were children (20+years ago).


Right now I am waiting on a call from her to talk about my issues and I am nervous.


How should I handle it?

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I think it is perfectly ok to take her help. I usually try to separate professional and personal matters. And if she is the best around in her profession (doctor), I think you should take her help. I don't see anything wrong in this.




Yeah, anu, she's been nothing but kind to me since I met her and since she has also dealt with anxiety I feel like she can relate to me.

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Then, I don't think you should even think again. I don't think your bf will mind it if you are taking a Doctor's professional help even though he dated her. And as you said, it was long long time back. So it really doesn't matter.


Yeah, he actually gave me her phone number but then she said she'd call me because she works crazy shifts. So, I'm waiting to hear from her right now. It's odd because I am like a younger version of her in so many ways and she was his first love. I can see he still likes the same thing apparently.

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Ok. Now this is where you have to stop. Go with an open mind for only professional help. Don't indulge yourself in futile comparisons. There may be similarities but who knows these comparisons in your head may bring unnecessary stress to yourself. Try to see her just as a doctor and not your bf's old old ex.

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Nothing wrong with some general information and a referral. I wouldn't confide anything too private. Not because I wouldn't appreciate her graciousness or expertise, but because I'd view it as compromising to all involved for someone who knows my husband to hear anything too intimate from me. That may just be me, but I wouldn't even want a close friend of husband to be positioned in that way.


I hope she's able to help, and best wishes to you.

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