Don't know how to put it.

[89Caddy]

I'm a 17 year old bisexual male and exactly a year ago I met this guy at a summer camp at which we had multiple classes together throughout the week. The first day I saw him I felt an immediate attraction to him and we eventually became pretty good friends. About two days in I asked him if he wanted to come to the site I was staying at, and have some s’mores. He said he would try but never came, turns out it was a good choice because no one remembered to bring the supplies. Ever since I broke the ice with that line he always sat either next to me or in front, at times he usually stared and when I looked back, he was always looking into my eyes, constantly smiling, usually saying “what” in a laugh. This went on for the whole week and I never complained. When Friday came around, a lot of the classes ended early so he had time on his hands. On Friday he walked up with two friends to the lodge that was next to the site I was staying at, and as my friend and I went to the site, he was right behind us and took his time looking around. We all ended up talking for at least thirty minutes, until a few counselors walked in, then as quickly as he came in, he bolted away. He was told he could stay, and was the only one of the group that wanted to leave. On the last day when we were leaving he was accross the parking lot helping and talking to people, so I didn’t want to bother him, plus I was doing the same. When I got home I did what anyone would do, and that was look him up on facebook and I got his AIM screen name. Over the IM chats we talked but it was always very random, mainly because I had the fear of saying something wrong.

 

In May we met up at another camping trip. When we were done setting up he came over and we ended up talking for a while, when he was forced to leave, I gave him a hug, and he went for it, my homophobic friend said “yea, I’m just going to give you a hand shake, that was pretty awkward”. When the trip was over and I began to head out, I said my goodbyes and gave him a hug, this time he looked depressed as though he was going to cry.

 

Then in June, I sent him a message asking him if he wanted to spend the weekend at my house so we could get to know each other, he responded with “sounds cool, let me talk to my parents”. He did come down and I tried to spend as much time as I could with him. I took him to a local Entenmann’s store (his favorite place) so he could get desserts, I paid for everything. He hated the fact that I was basically wasting my money on him, and always wanted to do something together, which we ended up going quadding in the acres woods my grandfather owns. After two hours we were both hungry, so I took him out to one of my favorite restaurants. He insisted on staying at my house and making something, but I wanted to be alone. At the restaurant he tried to get me talking by asking different questions like what colleges I was hoping to attend, where I wanted to live, etc.

That night I had a bon-fire and invited some of my closest friends to have an end of the year celebration. He was perfectly content, talked to my friends for a while and stayed by my side for most of the night. About two hours into it, my friend, who is homophobic, came and everything seemed to go down hill. I had gotten a blanket so we all could lay on the ground without getting wet. I sat next to him and he just rolled over on his stomach with his head facing my friend, only looking at me when my name was mentioned.

 

Sunday I took the privilege to drive him up to his house, and on our hour commute, I told him I would miss him and that I had enjoyed my time, ending it off with a pat on the head. He broke out with a huge smile and we tried talking the whole way, turning the radio down as each one of us started a conversation. When we got to his house I was greeted by his mother and got a tour of the house. She ending up making me stay for about 20 minutes because she wanted to see my car’s interior, and there were many questions to be answered. When I was done he tried rushing me but I took my time with asking for directions and fondling with the GPS, his mother was watching us for a while, so I decided I over stayed my welcome. When I started up the car, I looked in my rear view mirror, finding his face at the window with a smile and waved goodbye.

 

Two days later I called him saying I want to talk to him, he sounded cheerful and said alright, but he would be in Saugerties for two weeks with family. Then two weeks after he came back I called him again saying I want to talk to him, this time he sounded depressed and said if he didn’t call me that night he would call tomorrow. He never did so I thought he was busy, and didn’t want to bother him by calling, I don’t know if it was the right move.

 

My question is does it sound like he wants to be in a relationship but wants no one to know?

[tu444]

It just sounds like a friendship to me. Didn't read anything that really makes him sound gay. Does he claim to be straight?

[chiefoptimizer]

Relationship...no information whatsoever yet to tell. You could try being friends for a while, and being "cute and caring" if you can, basically keep flirting and also try to find out if how he feels about gays (mention gay pride happening somewhere near, or your imaginary gay uncle, etc), and proceed from there.

[89Caddy]

To: tu444

He doesn't claim to be straight.

 

To chief:

Funny you mentioned "how he feels about gays". When we were at the restaurant the waitress knows me and she acted more bubbly than usual. I joked around and said she probably thinks we're lovers. With that I added; so how do you feel about gay rights? He replied; I don't really care, I'm not concerned about it, so I changed the wording to how do you feel about gays, he just said; I like them, they don't bother me.

 

I'm just going to put this out there... we live 74 miles apart and yesterday I called him (he said he would call back, never did) but I ended up getting invited, by him, to his family's lakeside house. Just the way everythings been going I'm wondering if he's playing a game to see if I care.

[89Caddy]

It took a little longer than I really wanted too but I had to see for myself. I finally told him this early morning, and he took it really well. He cares about me, thats a fact, but he feels that the long distance and constant traveling will take a toll on the relationship. I'm not giving up until he finally says "goodbye".

[ceez]

I don't blame you for not giving up, opportunities like that don't come around to often, for some people anyway.

[doubtfull]

Well, you have confirmation, and thats a step further than you were when you didn't know. Now, if I were you. i wouldn't go changing my career choice and college applications to be closer just yet. But I'm glad you know he likes you. Good luck

[elektrikpop]

wait. so you 2 are in a relationship now??.

[89Caddy]

@elektrikpop:

I wish!

 

It didn't work out the way I was hoping. He called off the friendship and said it would be best to go our own separate ways. It was horrible to experience this, but it was a great learning experience. I try to be optimistic with everything and I found out I had people who in my own little community who love me more than he ever would. I hate to say anything negative about him but I believe that he wasn't comfortable with his sexuality, I guess you could say "in the closet" but I don't know how to really put it. The whole friendship was a guessing game, to me, so I'd have to say that he was right; It was better that we went our own ways.

[ceez]

^^that sounds kind of fishy, I think maybe he wasn't sure or accepted himself yet. who knows

[89Caddy]

HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU! Its been at least three months and guess what! His girlfriend finds me on facebook and talks to me. Seems like he's finally getting use to his sexuality. He told her about me and she wanted to know about his past relationships because shes competing with MEN. I cant help but laugh because his black and white ideals finally turned gray.

 

By the way he did like me, he just wasn't ready to take on his "new" sexuality.

[Imaginary]

Wow, it's nice to know that sometimes people are on the same boat and me and that we're not crazy. Kudos, to you, somewhat, though I don't know where exactly you'd go from here.

[89Caddy]

Well, there's nothing that I can do. The friendship ended harshly and I doubt that anything will happen between the two of us. The only nice thing about the situation is that I can read people and... I WAS RIGHT!

[Imaginary]

yes, that feeling. A bit disappointing, but knowing you're not insane and seeing things is a great way to get to sleep at night.