I just dont understand!

[luckyman]

But im so over it!!

 

So i was out last night hanging out and grabing some drinks with of couple of friends. Out of the blue after 5 months yes 5 months of complete nc, accept for one phone call from her on my birthday in which she acted like she was calling on a hunch and not positive about it actually being my bday, she texts me.

 

All it said was hey whats up?

 

I had just written that i would try and get back in contact with her once our next semester started up in a recent thread, so about 45 minute after i said what the heck and decided i should just answer.

 

Guess what she did'nt answer back! And so about 2 hours later i just text her saying "cool thanks for answering and that was that.

 

Now im not mad, i actually really don't care at all. The reason im posting is becasue i don't understand the point of this. I mean its not like its been 5 weeks nc its been 5 months and almost 10 months since the break up. By now i would even assume friendship is ok. I still love her but ive moved on completely, and am doing my own thing having fun being single.

 

So i guess my question is whats the point of this, these are games i could see being played early in a break up, but now?

 

If anything this gives me a little more closure, i see that i don't care, she has no power over me, im fine where i am, actually great where i am.

 

And now its not back to nc its just back to regular life, i think im finally past the recovery period, so NC is no longer what you call it its just us not being on talking terms. I know she'll get back in contact me, especially when we see each other at school, and i know it'll be just like talking to any other person. This girl loved me soooooo much, i took her for granted, communitcation fell apart and when i realized and tried to turn things around it was too late. I am very confident in what we had is all so i would just like to be on civil or even friendly terms in the near future, but won't be worried or taking it like its the end of the world if it does not go my way!

 

It's been soo long but it feels great to finnaly be free again.

 

Good Luck to all going through a break up, trust me time heals all!!!!

[savignon]

To me it looks like it took you 45 mins to respond to her but then you wrote her off and sent her a sarcastic text after about the same ammount of time it took you to respond. I understand that she's the one that initiated it....but maybe she was just following your lead (waiting an hour or so)...??

Just my 2 cents.

Glad you're moving on and enjoying your happiness!

[luckyman]

To me it looks like it took you 45 mins to respond to her but then you wrote her off and sent her a sarcastic text after about the same ammount of time it took you to respond. I understand that she's the one that initiated it....but maybe she was just following your lead (waiting an hour or so)...??

Just my 2 cents.

Glad you're moving on and enjoying your happiness!

 

I answered after 45 minutes telling her what i was doing and asked her what was up, then another 2 or so hours later i sent that sarcastic text i must of wrote it wrong on the main thread!

[annbuckley]

while the above poster may be right, I am not certain that I understand why you texted her back - you have moved on and it has been quite some time that you have been doing that. Do you really think that you could be friends with this person - it sounds like if you were going to be - you would have been so already.

 

My heart goes out to you - it is so hard to get the people we once loved out of our head and out of our hearts.

[luckyman]

while the above poster may be right, I am not certain that I understand why you texted her back - you have moved on and it has been quite some time that you have been doing that. Do you really think that you could be friends with this person - it sounds like if you were going to be - you would have been so already.

 

My heart goes out to you - it is so hard to get the people we once loved out of our head and out of our hearts.

 

First off thanks for the input.

 

Well although i have been moving on and am now completely over it. I was really more just wondering why she would text me then not answer back. Well, the next day she texted me again apologizing for not answering, and asked if i was not busy to please text her back.

 

Now i know she's in a relationship and me replying is not me intending on winning her back, but just to maybe get a friendship out of it. The reason why i would like a friendship is because we have been through incredible highs and lows together and though i am no longer in love with her nor is she with me we still do have lots of love for eachother. We had a horrible breakup and the relationship by the end had brought out the worst in us, and we were just nasty to eachother, the relationship had run its course months before it ended but we fought so so hard to be together and that itself is an understatement. In the end i guess we were just all wrong for eachother and just complete oposites which i guess kept the spark their for a long time because we were so interested in eachothers thoughts and trying new things but after a while it also became a huge burden. We were together for almost 3 years and we were eachothers first love. I know its hard to believe friendship would even be possible but we have both moved on shes in a relationship and im dating so i believe if we are both ok with that and we both know we were special to each other there is no point in never speaking again or being on good terms. It kind of scares me now that i would have probably never spoken to her again if she never initiated contact.

 

Well when she texted me it ended up being that she was in a fight with her boyfriend. She was confused about what love is and wanted to know if ever loved her and if i thought she ever loved me. We talked for a bit and even met up. I told her that i think she might be rushing things just as we did. And by rushing things i mean living together way to quickly for the most part and spending way too much time together, she has a sort of clingy-ness to her and is quite codependent, so i told her so, because i truly believe that all the rushing we did caused the demise of our relationship. I told her not to worry about love so much. I told her one day she will just know, and that if it came so fast or so often how special could it really be?? So in the end i made sure she knew that turning little fights into such big deals when they did'nt have to be as we did, can just make a sweet thing go sour o so quick.

 

I was fine helping her out, was it weird, i admit it was a little, but heartwrenching not at all. Im actually going to ask her for a bit of advice on my own situation as well with an interest of mine.

 

So all in all i guess she gave me the answer i was looking for. I thought she was up to her old games, but just as i wanted to be friends it seems as though she did too.

 

Now im not saying were going to be best friends or anything like that, but as long as we are on good terms and shes in my life and can grab a coffee or something here and there im perfectly fine with it. I never wanted to hate her or dislike her or be enemies with her so it makes me happy that this is how my story can end. In the furture who knows what'll happen with us two, as for now im just happy living my own life and meeting new people!

[summerpeach]

My ex from over 5 yrs ago contacts me once and a while with a "hey you, how are you, how's life, family etc"

I reply back and ask him the same and he never replies.

 

Let's just say, they immature morons, simple! This is why they are ex's ;-)