I can't get over a fling!! Help!!

[linda1984]

I am at my wits end, I dont know whats wrong with me.

 

I was in a 2 year relationship, when things started going badly my ex boyfriend broke up with me, I moved out and I started visiting this guy that I knew from when I was at school. He has been seperated for 1 year, he is still young, 27, and his divorce matter is coming up on the 28th July. I went out with him one night, we weren't expecting anything to happen but it did, it was only a week after my break up.

 

We started seeing eachother and things were going really great, we could just not get enough of eachother, I saw him everyday, it was that really amazing kind of feeling. We didn't want to be apart. Everything was different with him, he seemed so sincere, and he made me feel really good we connected in a different way.

 

Suddenly 3 weeks later out of the blue he tells me that because of his divorce, he is not feeling to great about things and he just is not ready to be with me.

 

I just cant stop thinking about this guy, I really miss what we had and I feel like there's something wrong with me because its harder for me to get over this than my 2 year relationship. Does anyone have some advice, I feel like I'm going crazy...I wait for a call or text or email or fb message everyday, hoping for him to change his mind!!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You had a lust-filled fling with someone new and that gave you a temporary high from your break up. You want to continue that high and have someone pay attention to you. You need to start seeing the reality and that is that you never allowed yourself the time to process the break up of your long-term relationship. The pining you feel for fling guy is similar to the person who needs an alcohol fix in order to sink into some degree of forgetfulness. Fling guy is not going to change his mind because he has realized that his fling with you was simply an escape from his pain. Now you need to realize that this fling was simply an escape from your pain.

[Traveler27]

Hi and welcome to ENA. I experienced something similar last year. Please read my thread on this topic here:

 

I know how you feel, and 'flings' are actually very difficult to get over because they are often very intense and things move very quickly. I hope you will feel better soon.

[linda1984]

Thanx!! I appreciate the advise. Its hard to face reality sometimes but it has to be done.

[linda1984]

OK so its now been 2 weeks. I am feeling a bit better, but I still cannot get him out of my mind. He sent me an e-mail the other day explaining his situation, I felt better after that but yesterday I still tried to explain myself in an e-mail to him. I just feel like I do really want to be with him, I just feel this strong connection with him.