He's Tired of LDR!

[sweetheart108]

Hello, I need some advice on my situation. I will try to make this short!

 

I have been with my b/f for over 3 years. He broke up with me a few times during the 3 years. Anyway, since our last breakup almost a year ago, I moved 1 1/2 hours away from him because I thought he was totally done with me. I moved to where my family was and had a great support system.

 

Then we didn't talk for awhile, I gave him his space and he came running back to me. I did not take him back and made him work for me. He was begging to move to the same city as I but I felt at that time I did not want him to give up on his current construction job. We live in Florida and since the economy is not the best I wanted him to keep his current job 1 1/2 hours away. Then he was transferred further north (3 hours away) for his job. He moved 3 hours away and for the last 8 months we have been doing the LDR.

 

He works mon-fri 8-5 and I am a nurse and work 3 nights a week, including every other weekend. We have been seeing each other every other weekend. Now he is telling me he is "tired of LDR", and "he feels numb". He told me last night work is getting worst, he hates it and is tired of getting yelled at from his boss (he says I don't understand his work). He also said since I work nights even if he moved to my area we would never see each other. I told him I want to make this work and would move to the same city where he is but I have made sacrifices before in the relationship. When I met him I was living on my own then moved into his house and then went back to school and moved 1 1/2 hours away after school to be where he currently was. I feel like I have moved so much it is his time to sacrifice and move down near me. I asked him if he was offered a job near me if he would take it and he said he would. He said he was looking for jobs near me but couldn't find anything. I want to be with him so bad and it hurts. He told me since he is tired of LDR "it does not mean he is calling it quits on us and he does want things to work out". I dont know what to do. I told him last night I am here for him if he needs anything. I asked him what I could do and he said "I don't know". Do I need to just give him his space and let him figure out what he wants and un-numb? himself. I feel like he doesn't care about me because if he really wanted to make things work he would move down here. Wouldn't anyone do that for love?

 

Also, while all this is going on I am getting a 2 bedroom apt. with a girl I know b/c my 1 bedroom's lease is up and it is so much to stay in a 1 bedroom apt. I can save money in a 2 bedroom. He knows about this and how I need to save money. I told him last night that if I needed to get out of the lease for some reason I could always find someone to fill it and I don't want this to effect our relationship.

 

Any advice on what to do and why he's acting this way?

 

Thanks!

So hurt and confused.

[MetaphorDavis]

You guys seem to be too far apart or right on top of each other both of which are relationship killers.

 

I wouldn't move for "love," but thats just me.

[OptomisticGirl]

When you start looking at things you do to be with your SO in a LDR as sacrifices, that's where the problems are. I get the feeling you feel like you have sacrificed a lot for him and maybe you did. I'm in a 4,000 mile relationship and am moving to England in a year and a half. I don't see it as a sacrifice, I see it as me taking steps to be with my fiance.

 

He seems like he has tried finding work near you and can't. If your lease is up, what is stopping you from moving to be with him instead of a 2 bedroom apartment?

[sweetheart108]

Hello Optimisticgirl. He does not want me to move up near him because I did that before and it turned into a negative situation. Before I moved when I was done school and I was studying for my nursing boards, trying to find a job and meet friends. I was very stressed and took it out on him. He is afraid the same thing will happen, that I will take it out on him. I didn't mean to before but I did. Alot of my friends say he needs to be the one to make the next move and move down here for me. That would show alot since I have been the one doing the moving towards him. I love him and want this to work!