Pull / Push

[evan123]

I have been casually dating this guy for 5 months. It seems the more I pull away and act like I am not into him the more he is into me. Are some guys just into the challenge and want women to give them a hard time???? He seems to like a chase. When I ignore his text or calls or seem like I could care less he won't leave me alone and when I am all lovey dovey and at his beck and call he stops contacting. We are both 41 and he has never been married.

 

Have you ever met someone like this and if so what did you do? Help!!!!

[oldenoughtoknow]

It's called the dance, and it's probably one of the most fundamental elements of human attraction. All people have a tendency to want what they don't think they can have. When we can have something whenever we want it, we tend to take it for granted. Most people are able to keep this in balance. The reason it's called the dance is because even in the most healthy relationships, the element is still there, swinging from one partner to another. Whenever it gets too far to one side, or it stays on one side for too long, that's when you're headed for troubles.

 

You're wise to recognize this early in your relationship with this guy. You mentioned that you've been only casually dating, so maybe he's not sure of where you are and is searching for clues. Or maybe this is an issue for him that he needs to address. Either way, I'd keep my eyes open.