fazetherage Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Okay so, on July 1st my boyfriend of three month's best friend called me and told me that unfortunately my boyfriend is not the person I think he is. She told me that he bought another girl breakfast and walked around a creek he took me to previously a few days before he left (he went to argentina for a month and is stil there and will be until august... he is visiting family he has there). However, he lied to me and told me that on that morning he was working, and told his best friend that he had already told me that he was taking this girl out. He also said he never told the girl he took to breakfast that he loved her, however i saw the text messages he sent her and he told her alot that he loved her and he also told her that he was "keeping his options open" when she asked him how I would feel about them hanging out. I believe his best friend would have no reason to lie to me and know of her as being a very honest person, but she also told me he constantly lies to me and it breaks her heart because she does not think he deserves me. She also said they intensely flirt at work. I confronted my boyfriend about all of this and he lied to me about some of it then said he only thought of the girl he took out as a friend and he only took her out because she was having emotional problems and he could relate. I am not sure if I should break up with him or not. I dont think he cheated on me but alot of what he said makes it seem that he did or wanted to and i dont want to be hurt if he really does constantly lie to me. PLEASE HELP! I really need advice and dont know who to go to... Also: Well when i confronted him about the "i love you" thing he lied to me then when i told him i knew for sure about it he admitted to it, but still im afraid he could constantly be lying to me and i have no idea how i would know whats true and what isnt. Link to comment
Honey1 Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 One year later after you decided to give this a try you will be hearing more of his lies. Then you'll be too deep to just let go.](*,) Walk away now while it's new, not much invested. He lies unless you have proof then he confesses NO Ma'am! Save yourself years of insecurity and heartache, she's right you deserve better. Think of the things she knows and probably doesn't have the heart to tell you. And if you don't listen to her and keep taking him back, eventually she will stop telling you things! her and move on! Link to comment
odile Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 It doesn't sound good, fazetherage. If your boyfriend had only thought of this other girl as a friend, he'd have had no reason to lie to you about spending time with her in the first place. It sounds as though the lies keep mounting, too. Also upsetting is the fact that he continues to lie until confronted with facts to contradict the lies, and only then does he admit to it. None of this bodes well. It might hurt now to hear it, but it sounds like your boyfriend's best friend did you a huge favor by cluing you in, and she's right on target when she says that this guy doesn't deserve you. Hold your head high, and drop that guy. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 There are too many lies already in this relationship. A relationship needs to have solid foundations on which to build upon and yours are already shakey. You wont ever be able to trust this guy completely ... and quite rightly given his actions so far. I know its easy for me to say but you need to walk away now before you get in too deep otherwise you are going to get hurt. Incidentally, what reason did he give you for telling her he loved her? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Since you confronted him and it is very clear that he lied even then, I think the writing is on the well about his character. You don't have much time invested so I would get out of this now before you waste more time with him. Link to comment
fazetherage Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 he told her he loved her because she needed to be comforted at that time...but then he said he "didnt mean he loved her like that and only as a friend"...but then why would he tell her he was keeping his options open Link to comment
Tanzi Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Well you read the text messages that he sent telling her he loved her ... is your gut instinct telling you he was saying it just to comfort her? As for "keeping his options open" that certainly does imply that he isn't as committed to a relationship with you as as much as he wants you to believe he is and you are hoping he is. I really don't think he is ready for a full-time relationship. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I agree with everyone else here. With all of these lies happening in the short period of only 3 months, it's a good idea to cut your losses, and walk away. Link to comment
odile Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 he told her he loved her because she needed to be comforted at that time...but then he said he "didnt mean he loved her like that and only as a friend"...but then why would he tell her he was keeping his options open You already know the answer to this... Because he is not committing to her, or to you. He is playing the field, and lying to do so. Basically, he is stringing people along. He is not good relationship material. Link to comment
fazetherage Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 thank you everyone! this is going to be so hard to do, but thank you so much Link to comment
Tanzi Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 thank you everyone! this is going to be so hard to do, but thank you so much Yes it will be hard but sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind ... and that includes to ourselves. You deserve much more than this and one day you will have much more than this. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.