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Guys, if you are really, really nice to a girl does it mean you're attracted to her?

waveseer

By waveseer
in Dating Advice

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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Here's the situation, you meet a girl and you have instant rapport. A genuine, funny, compassionate conversation ensues. You act very interested in her and what she has to say. Both of you are all smiles and friendly. Does this definitely mean you're attracted to her or could you just have been being nice?

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xyzzzz Collaborator

xyzzzz

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i think u'll never find out.give u my example..this guy's nice to me and we have good conversation and i asked his fb and he said"let me know how things going" and days later he deleted me from FB.then i asked him why.he said he didnt do that.that must be his gf.and he said dont worry,see u at work.

thing is his fb says he's single..

so if he lies about that gf thing,that must mean he isnt attracted at all and he's still nice to me by those "see u" thing.

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MetaphorDavis Newbie

MetaphorDavis

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How about he was attracted to you for that moment, then went home watched The Deadliest Catch and forgot all about you. Why are there only 2 choices in your faulty logic? Did he pick his nose while communicating cause that has serious connotations. Don't mean to be dismissive but human beings are complicated and noone can give you a "definite" answer cause context, who/what he is cannot be answered by your info.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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Where were we, how did I meet you, and how long did we talk? He could be interested, he could have genuinely just enjoyed a nice conversation, and he could have been just echoing pleasantries to appear nice. The rest of the info is important.

 

We met in a restaurant, and he did tell me he hoped to see me there again soon. Ew, that sounds bad in print.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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How about he was attracted to you for that moment, then went home watched The Deadliest Catch and forgot all about you. Why are there only 2 choices in your faulty logic? Did he pick his nose while communicating cause that has serious connotations. Don't mean to be dismissive but human beings are complicated and noone can give you a "definite" answer cause context, who/what he is cannot be answered by your info.

 

No nose picking, but he did have a smudge on his nose which I let him know. We both laughed when he said maybe that's why people were looking at him funny.

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xyzzzz Collaborator

xyzzzz

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x, I can be pretty direct when I think the guy needs a clear signal that I'm interested. If I invite him out (in person) he will either say yes or no (or something that means yes or no). Any sort of later response is a definite no to me.

 

i dont know how to understand it?

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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i dont know if what u said is to me or to ur own topic?

 

Both. In person it's pretty obvious if someone suggests a next meeting and the other person is less than enthusiastic. I don't mind being the first one to do the suggesting, nothing ventured nothing gained. In my case though I'm not sure how to read the signals.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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What sort of girl is that? One that understands interpersonal communication between genders?

 

Are you trying to tell me that all guys like to make the first move? There are many different kinds of people in the world, some like to foxtrot and some like to tango.

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xyzzzz Collaborator

xyzzzz

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Both. In person it's pretty obvious if someone suggests a next meeting and the other person is less than enthusiastic. I don't mind being the first one to do the suggesting, nothing ventured nothing gained. In my case though I'm not sure how to read the signals.

 

well then why dont u just ask him to hang? dont guess the signals.

in my case..ive never asked him for next meeting..but he said see u at work..not sure if he means that or just a saying..

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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well then why dont u just ask him to hang? dont guess the signals.

in my case..ive never asked him for next meeting..but he said see u at work..not sure if he means that or just a saying..

 

Any encouraging response would lead me to do just that, but so far this one's a stumper. See you at work could go either way depending on how it was said.

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MetaphorDavis Newbie

MetaphorDavis

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Are you trying to tell me that all guys like to make the first move? There are many different kinds of people in the world, some like to foxtrot and some like to tango.

 

I can see your cup is full. For someone who measures the feet between two people conversing your sure are lost. I think Billy Idol, "Dancing with Myself" would be the best metaphor for this situation.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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I can see your cup is full. For someone who measures the feet between two people conversing your sure are lost. I think Billy Idol, "Dancing with Myself" would be the best metaphor for this situation.

 

I had to guess at the measurements, it was just another piece of information that may or may not be pertinent.

 

I really didn't want people to tell me if this guy was attracted to me, I wanted them to tell me if they did what he did would it be because they were attracted or because they were being nice.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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Noone can determine that from what info you gave. Besides, even if you were able to accuratley deconstruct what that guy was feeling your approach would sabotage it.

 

Tough crowd here tonight. I will take that as a no, he was not attracted he was just being nice. I really wasn't looking for help on how to suggest another meeting, but thanks anyway.

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ProtestTheHero Enthusiast

ProtestTheHero

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Noone can determine that from what info you gave. Besides, even if you were able to accuratley deconstruct what that guy was feeling your approach would sabotage it.

 

There is nothing wrong with what she did. I am not so simple and stupid that a woman asking me a question or trying to push things along completely throws me off and changes my mind. Most of the time it's not an issue because most women are not comfortable with that role, but I am not uncomfortable in any role so who cares? I hate when people try to reinforce these sweeping rules to individuals in individual cases.

 

Anyways...

 

Personally, if I just said I hoped to see you again sometime and didn't try to set a specific time I'm probably pretty non-committal about the whole thing. If I see you again, maybe we'll talk, but if not I don't really care. If I'm supremely interested I'll push to schedule something.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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There is nothing wrong with what she did. I am not so simple and stupid that a woman asking me a question or trying to push things along completely throws me off and changes my mind. Most of the time it's not an issue because most women are not comfortable with that role, but I am not uncomfortable in any role so who cares? I hate when people try to reinforce these sweeping rules to individuals in individual cases.

 

Anyways...

 

Personally, if I just said I hoped to see you again sometime and didn't try to set a specific time I'm probably pretty non-committal about the whole thing. If I see you again, maybe we'll talk, but if not I don't really care. If I'm supremely interested I'll push to schedule something.

 

Thank you, I appreciate your candid response. I do like to eat there, so it's possible that we will run into each other again. If we have another stellar conversation and he doesn't ask me out then it will confirm your ideas.

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