My Trust issues is getting in the way

[coolgirl]

Yup, the title says it. My trust issues is getting in the way and its scaring the crap out of me and dont know why. Here i am dating this really great guy were having so much fun together. He assures me that he's no lier and no cheater and i want to believe him. I'm just having a hard time. I mean i was always use to the fact that any guy i dated walked away from me and this guy didnt. And honestly i dont know what he sees in me. I want to believe anything he tells me but in the back of my mind i'm like what if he does cheat and i dont know about it or what if he is lying to me i dont know about it. Help !!!!!!!

[jenny_mcs]

On Saturday you wrote that you had been talking to a guy for 2-3 days. Now it is Monday- so you have been talking to this guy for 4-5 days.

 

Have you met him in person yet?

[coolgirl]

On Saturday you wrote that you had been talking to a guy for 2-3 days. Now it is Monday- so you have been talking to this guy for 4-5 days.

 

Have you met him in person yet?

 

We first started talking on july 4th then met him on saturday. yea i met him for the first time on Saturday after talking for about a couple of days.

[jenny_mcs]

We first started talking on july 4th then met him on saturday. yea i met him for the first time on Saturday after talking for about a couple of days.

 

Don't you think it's a little bit early to be thinking about cheating and trust and all those things? I mean, you met him 2 days ago.

[geekgirl4]

Whoaaaaaaa. You need to stop. You have trust issues that are already starting to affect your relationship and this is in just less than a week. IMO, you shouldn't attempt to start a relationship if you're freaking out a few days into starting one. You need some me time to figure out why you have trust issues and start working on them. Doing this while starting a relationship will only wreck the relationship and leave you in an even worse position than before. You have self esteem issues that need to be addressed, and if they don't, they will 100% drive away your guy.

[Lunaetick]

I agree with the above posts that you should work on your insecurities before you get too involved with anyone because your issues will just get a whole lot worse the more serious you guys get.

 

However, since you just met him, do you think that instead of this being your insecurities, maybe your gut is trying to tell you something about him?

[coolgirl]

Whoaaaaaaa. You need to stop. You have trust issues that are already starting to affect your relationship and this is in just less than a week. IMO, you shouldn't attempt to start a relationship if you're freaking out a few days into starting one. You need some me time to figure out why you have trust issues and start working on them. Doing this while starting a relationship will only wreck the relationship and leave you in an even worse position than before. You have self esteem issues that need to be addressed, and if they don't, they will 100% drive away your guy.

 

Here is the thing is that because I had so much bad experinces in my past that i carried the hurt with me. And now leaves me wondering as to if this guy is going to be the same as the others or not. Other men that I dated before walked out of my life dropped me like I didnt exsist but this guy didnt. And he's still around. I asked this guy are we friends are something he calls this dating. So I didnt know I even became exclsuive with this guy from the start. I dont even know if I do or dont have a relationship going or not. I'm just confused. I mean were getting along great, were open and honest with each other, communication is great we both respect each other and have a few things in common which rarley happens. I never imagined myself having to think about getting into a relationship or even starting one for that matter. He has all these good qualaties but still i'm blinded by it.

[geekgirl4]

It's terrible you had all those bad experiences with guys but you need to realize that one of the big markers that show you have issues to work out is that you're letting those guys affect your future ones. It's not fair to your current guy that you are freaking out because of a string of bad apples - it's possible he's different from them, and like a poster stated above, it's possible that he's the same. The most important thing is keeping an open mind and a cautious heart. I really recommend taking some time off to work through your issues before you make yourself even worse. And here's some food for thought, the common factor in all those string of bad guys is you. It could be how you choose them, or it could be issues with yourself that had them end quite badly. As it is, some quality "me" time should be in order. Sometimes it takes a mistake to realize the right thing. In this case, take some time to work through the mistakes before you lose the right one.

[Solo Pilot]

Opportunity doesn't knock twice(well rarely)

 

CoolGirl you have got to get a hold of your insecurities pronto. You sound just like my ex-gf was. She also had quite a few dirtbag ex bf's and an ex-husband that did a number on her causing her to distrust guys. When I came along being genuinely nice to her, she started voicing her doubts(to me) that she didn't trust her judgement in picking a good guy. I might be biased but a guy guy was in front of her and she let me go. She was my first gf after a long divorce and so thought I was going to rebound using her. It's ironic that I cared for so much. Anyways sorry to tell my tale. You just have to get your insecurities under control if you can.

 

The general consensus is there are very few good people out there to date. Guys think most women are either * * * * ty, trashy, gold digging, or into bad boys types. Girls think most men are only interested in one night stands. So if you think you have a good guy then give it some time and get to know him.

 

Don't shoot yourself in the foot.