I'm Such a Hypocrite!

[KeepMe]

Oh I'm such a mess!

I've started talking to my ex again, and when I think that I'm fully over him, he surprises me again and again. Things are really rough with my boyfriend, but my ex has always been a really good friend of mine. I still have small feelings for my ex, but I don't ever linger on and try and get back together with him. I keep it friendly, and clean 100%.

I feel really stupid because I'm starting to think that my ex is enjoying this "I told you so" stuff. He always asks how my boyfriend and I are doing, and I'm open and honest with him. He's the only person I have in my life that I can spill my feelings out to, and he will listen and make me feel better. However, when I tell him my feelings that relate to my boyfriend doing badly he always says something like "Well I know how to treat you right," or "See, I never did that." I kind of just dodge those comments, like I didn't hear them.

When it's his turn to fess up to our "after life" apart from each other he goes on to tell me how good everything is. He makes a ton of money, and he's doing well with himself. He has purchased a brand new 2010 Cadillac in cash, and just purchased a new 2009 Truck. He has been getting tattoo's and really enjoying himself, and his life.

Today we were kidding around and talking about relationships, and he mentioned that he was sleeping with some women. I think my heart exploded and just about came up through my mouth and on the floor. This was a huge "ouch" for me because of the relationship we use to have. He said that they were different than me because they were just "no strings attached" women, and him and I actually had something. He also told me how he thought we would be together forever, but he accepted what had happened.

My ex is sort of a homebody, he is 23 and still living with his mom. If he lives with her for the rest of his life he is okay with that, he is frugal when it comes to that topic. The only friends he has are work buddies, and he hardly goes out and does anything. I know I'm a huge hypocrite cause' I've moved on to someone else, but I think I was about to cry when he said he was sleeping around with women. I know eventually he will get over me, and move on ... but it's kind of rough. It's hard imagining him with anyone else, and it's still sort of like him being mine. I guess even though I don't want him, I still don't want anyone else to have him either. I don't think I was ready to hear that right now, this point in time. :sad:

 

I hate that I'm a hypocrite, but I have no idea what to do about it. Anyone else ever experience anything like this?

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like you jumped into another relationship way too soon, without allowing yourself time to heal from your previous one. Regardless, you have to make up your mind to stop all contact with your ex, in order to be able to move forward.