Woke up still as lonely as last night

[dancingcolors]

I need a guy. I need a nice date, that lasts more than a couple of hours, and I never see the person again. I need to find a kindred spirit. I need a backrub, a massage. I need to make love. I need to wake up with someone I love, or at least like alot. I need to stop feeling so lonely and sad, and longing for love and attention. I need to stop feeling like a loser. I need to stop missing my ex. I need to stop crying and having this awful feeling in my chest. I need a compliment.

 

I think I am as cute as any other ordinary person my age. Everytime I meet anyone I am actually interested in, they aren't interested in me. I am just as normal and nice as anyone else. I sell jewelry for a living, and see couples all weekend long being all lovey, dovey, as he is buying here something. I am actually way more cute than alot of the woman, and just as nice and normal.

 

I can't hardly stand this. I am going nuts. All I do is work, and then wish someone was there to love me. Last week my car blew up on the freeway, and now I have to find a new car, to boot too. I just don't have the energy for it. I worked really hard all weekend, selling jewelry to lovey, dovey, couples, and I just wished I had a good man to go home to, to love me. I miss my ex, even if he did me wrong. And he never bought me things the way these guys do in the lovey,dovey couples. I hate lovey, dovey couples. Then the woman all say to me, " he is always spoiling me". I am just as cute and nice as any of them. I am sure of this, and as normal. I am too old for this. it hurts my stomach and my heart. I just feel all twisted up inside from lack of love, affection, attention and sex.

 

I am going to dye my hair today dark brown, burgandy. Maybe that will make me feel better.

 

People in Oregon, are so closed up. No one smiles, and NO ONE ever gives a compliment. At least in Montana, they are always reaching out to you, and I got tons of compliments. even the old judge in court flirted with me, in front of my 21 year old daughter. I guess if I don't find somewhere else to go, I will go back to Montana for the winter. I have to find a car first. Sigh......

[Hell_On_Heels]

Maybe you should go to pdx (?) There are lots more people there, and they are pretty friendly overall. It's just a thought...and if you hate it, then maybe Montana is the place for you.

[andi8172]

i hate lovey dovey couples too always smooching in back of cab then the guy will argue with girl and ill think you dont deserve her.

[Hell_On_Heels]

I live with a lovey-dovey couple - my son and his girlfriend. Sometimes it's hard to take, but mostly I am happy for them. And think that I will have that again, too, someday.

 

Did I mention that sometimes it's hard to take? I start missing my ex, even though he's no good for me.

[dancingcolors]

Hell on Wheels. you are talking about Portland right? I have thought about Portland. I just can't handle the traffic. I thought about moving to Alberta district, or maybe southeast. I am an old hippie type. What do you suggest in Portland?

[Hell_On_Heels]

Hawthorne district, or Southeast. You'd love the Hawthorne district People are always out and about, and they are mostly hippies. Of course Portland is half hippie anywhere you go.

 

I lived in Chicago before I moved to Portland, so the traffic didn't bother me at all. I guess you've just gotta be patient sitting in your car. A ton of people bike there, maybe you'd rather bicycle?

[dancingcolors]

I don't care about sitting in my car traffic. It is the moving traffic that freaks me out. I like bikes. Is Hawthorne district SE?

[Hell_On_Heels]

Yes, it's inner SE. It starts at about 11th (meaning 11 blocks from the river) and goes on past 39th or so. Maybe you could plan a weekend up there, look around, and check out Saturday Market, too. I'd imagine that's where you'd sell a lot of your jewelry...though I *think* some local shops would display them for you, too.

[sidehop]

I'm sorry you're feeling sad

 

What about Seattle? I lived there for few years and people are very open and of course there's the whole hippie image associated with that city. Everyone seem pretty cool

[dancingcolors]

I've been to the sat market. that is considered downtown isn't it?

 

I don't like Seattle. I do kind of like portland.

[TurtleDove12]

You >needneed

[dancingcolors]

Yup, all those things.

[LoveSoDeep]

Yup, all those things.

 

I think what Turtle was getting at is that you are a beautiful person just like you said! You don't really NEED those things. What you need is to find a way to be happy...really genuinely happy with yourself. I know it sounds like a cliche but when you do the rest will just fall into place!

 

I think you're on the right track though with coloring your hair and thinking about moving to a new area that could really help you jumpstart a new life where you'll be more accepting of yourself!

 

Trust me I say this b/c I thought the same exact thing this past weekend about all the lovey dovey couples. UGH! It's enough to make someone physically ill...but you know what if it's true and I truly am just as pretty and nice and normal as them so finding someone that I jsut click with shoyuld be easy...and maybe even fun. So I'm going to try to look at that way for a while...who knows maybe it help me look even more attractive. I think you should join me!

[Hell_On_Heels]

Yes, Sat Market is downtown.

[dancingcolors]

well, I do really miss someone being there and physical affection, etc... I feel like it is a need like eating, or breathing, or sleeping. It's just not natural being without it. They have done studies, and babies deprived of touch and love will die. I think it is the same for adults. Yeah, I can psych myself out and say I don't need it, but I do. And sex, that is important too, and I just can't do the casual thing.

[uncomfynumb]

They have done studies, and babies deprived of touch and love will die.

 

I don't think they die, they just grow up being very screwed up...

 

Anyway, guess what happens when you focus more on what you are lacking? You stop appreciating and being grateful for what you have which is a big, fat negative.

 

People that are happy find something to be happy and grateful for every day of their life. They make a conscious choice to put their energy into positive thoughts and emotions and look for the good in everything. They don't dwell on the past, they live in the present and once again, they don't dwell on anything negative because they know if they do, the sunshine will go away and the rain will set in.

 

Your ex was not a good match for you. Thank God for your breakup up and have faith that God will provide for you.

[dancingcolors]

Thanks for being supportive (meaning that sarcastically).

[uncomfynumb]

Thanks for being supportive (meaning that sarcastically).

 

I don't think anyone here is not being supportive. Then again, what do you want them to support, your feeling lonely and sorry for yourself?

 

"Awww there, there now" and "Poor baby" might feel good but I think you need something other than that to get you through and I think that it is to focus on positives rather than negatives and to have some faith.

 

No man is going to want to be with you if you if he senses that you put all this energy into needing him or any man. You need to radiate that you are a whole and complete person that doesn't need a man but wants one to compliment your already wonderful life. That is how you attract them and keep them.

 

((hugs))

[dancingcolors]

That is such BS. Everybody needs someone. That is what is wrong with this whole culture, and why this forum is on here, because people just don'y value relationships and each other anymore. Everyone has to be soooo independent and not needing anyone. So complete within themselves. That is not human nature, nor is it biblical, if you want to talk about God. Adam walked everyday in the garden with God, and God still thought that it wasn't enough and gave Adam, Eve, and said it wasn't good for man to dwell alone. That words for man in the Hebrew includes all people, just not men. We were made to be with each other, and things are so screwed up now, with everybodies independent and non committal attitudes, that is why this Forum is here in the first place. and I am not the only one on here feeling lonely, and missing having someone. Do you know in the Jewsih religion, they don't want you to be a rabbi, if you aren't married? That is how important they think having someone is to your over health and being able to operate in a good way?? What a bunch of BS.

[FootofGod]

Why would you want a man? You're awesome! If nobody wants to share of your awesomeness, horde it like a squirrel in late fall!

 

Seriously, why would you want a man? Men suck. Have you taken a nice good long look at us? 9 out of 10 of my fellow kind are total dbags with no real redeeming qualities and we're all so ugly and misshapen compared to the natural beauty women have I just go "wow, no wonder women are crazy! I'd be messed up, too, if I had to like that!" I don't know how you guys manage!

 

If you need love or attention, family and friends. If you need something to cuddle, pillows are cheap and don't leave (often). If you need to get off/sexual satisfaction, there's these little stores in every section of every city of every state with WALLS of affordable merchandise all focused around self-pleasure. There's a whole damn world of solo debauchery to be had!

[dancingcolors]

Yuck.... The point is I am not into solo. Lonely, boring, yuck.

[dancingcolors]

I guessed you missed my point entirely.

[browneyedgirl36]

I know where you're coming from, dancingcolors -- I really do. I think most of us want someone special in our lives, and a healthy, solid romantic relationship DOES contribute significantly to a feeling of security and well-being. It's totally natural and normal to want to be with someone -- you're totally right about that, and no one's disagreeing with you on that.

 

The thing is, though...love, and romantic relationships, are no security from a cruel world, and we have to be OK - or as OK as we possibly can -- with our lives independent of our romantic relationships (or lack thereof) because no relationship comes with a guarantee, and if someone chooses to walk out on us, or dies, or something else happens and the relationship ends, life doesn't stop for us. We have to go on and be as contented and peaceful with ourselves as we can, so that no matter what happens, we'll be OK.

 

I totally feel your pain. I am there myself sometimes. I really want someone to share my life with -- so much sometimes that it hurts (literally, physically). I too loved someone VERY much who doesn't want to be with me, and I worry about being able to find another. Right now, what I am working on is enjoying my life, cultivating and nurturing my other relationships, pursuing interests, etc. It helps tremendously. I realize that only I can help myself, and I hope that, when I do find that person (and I believe I will, and so will you) I will be ready!

 

Hang in there...

 

I feel really sad

[FootofGod]

You call masturbation yucky? Are you absolutely sure you've slept with a man? You know, it's that thing where every orifice on both people's bodies secrete every possible liquid, hormone, and smell, ending with a mess of bodily fluids - it's that activity that nobody in their right mind would partake in if it wasn't so damn fun!

 

Not to mention, going solo can teach a girl all kinds of things about her body and how to please herself and all of that carries back over and benefits your sex life. Weird, the only people who I've met who had something against masturbation either had religious reasons or were also not into sex at all. Or they were very young. Very young girls seem to be afraid of their bodies.

[dancingcolors]

I guess I won't post on here anymore because I am just not politically correct.