Herpes at 14?

[sourskitless]

I'm 14.

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up around the middle of may, and today I found out from one of his friends that he had herpes.

I didn't notice any symptoms before, but then I looked it up on the internet and it said having flu-like symptoms was a sign that appeared before an outbreak, and I just had had a huge cold. So I went to shave my private area and I noticed a red bump that was sore, and a smaller one with a white tip,resembling a pimple. I searched this up, and sure enough, it fit under the derscription of herpes. It confuses me, because we never had sex, we made out, and I did give him a blowjob, but only twice. Could I have caught it then?

I don't know what to do; I'm confused and scared as hell.

and I can't go have a test because I can't tell my parents, or they would kill me.

I don't know where else to go for advice, because I don't want to tell my friends.

[Mike88]

There's only one thing I can say about this. Do not self-diagnose yourself using the internet because there are sooo many symptoms out there, and people panic when they see similarities which may even be exaggerated subconsciously. Just go to your Doctor plzzz. Its tough for a 14 year old but there are laws that keep it between you and your doctor. Just ask your mom or dad to sign you up for a physical for anything.

[ToF]

Well you're probably not looking for judgment. I'm sure you're already aware that this is a terrible problem for anyone to have, but having to worry about it at fourteen is ... on another level. I'm only 20, but I guess times have changed even since I was that age ... ?

 

You NEED to see a doctor. At least call your doctor and ask for advice. I don't know what your health insurance situation is, but most providers offer a service that allows you to ask a nurse for advice.

 

Did he ever give you oral sex? Did your pubic area ever come into contact with his in any way? It's possible that you caught herpes from him if he touched himself then touched you. I'm no doctor, so just leave the diagnoses to the professionals.

[sourskitless]

meh ill try to go to the doctor.. =/

but my parents thing im a good girl so.. i dont really want to let them know, cuz im pretty sure the doctor would tell them. and no hes never given me oral sex, but his pubic area came in contact with mine yeah.

ill try going to the doctor then... =/

[ToF]

meh ill try to go to the doctor.. =/

but my parents thing im a good girl so.. i dont really want to let them know, cuz im pretty sure the doctor would tell them. and no hes never given me oral sex, but his pubic area came in contact with mine yeah.

ill try going to the doctor then... =/

 

I'm glad you're going! Please do, this will only get worse if you put it off.

 

I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but is there a reason you are hiding all this from your parents?

[sourskitless]

not really just.. well yeah i guess there is.

they've caught me drunk/high a couple of times. and they said if anything amongst the sorts or worst happens, then theyre going to send me to all girls private school. and i dont really want that.

but yeah i guess going to the doctor is the best option; waiting on it will only make it worse.

[FathomFear]

meh ill try to go to the doctor.. =/

but my parents thing im a good girl so.. i dont really want to let them know, cuz im pretty sure the doctor would tell them. and no hes never given me oral sex, but his pubic area came in contact with mine yeah.

ill try going to the doctor then... =/

 

I'm not sure of the particular laws in your state/country, but you should be able to achieve confidentiality with your doctor. There is doctor-patient confidentiality even with minors, unless it's a matter of life/death--which Herpes is not.

[MissyM]

Please do not worry. Herpes is not a MAJOR problem, it is simply a cold sore on your private's. Go to an STD clinic and make sure you see a counsellor because if you do have it, it is nowhere near the problem you think it is.

[turnera]

not really just.. well yeah i guess there is.

they've caught me drunk/high a couple of times. and they said if anything amongst the sorts or worst happens, then theyre going to send me to all girls private school. and i dont really want that.

but yeah i guess going to the doctor is the best option; waiting on it will only make it worse.

I asked my DD19 last year why she never got in trouble like all her friends, who were always getting in trouble by staying out, getting drunk, yelling at their parents, having sex...

 

You know what she said?

 

"Why would I do stuff that I know I'm going to get in trouble for?"

 

You can always CHOOSE not to do the things that you'll get consequences for.

 

So your 'areas' touched, but you didn't have sex? How did that occur?

[MissyM]

There's only one thing I can say about this. Do not self-diagnose yourself using the internet because there are sooo many symptoms out there, and people panic when they see similarities which may even be exaggerated subconsciously. Just go to your Doctor plzzz. Its tough for a 14 year old but there are laws that keep it between you and your doctor. Just ask your mom or dad to sign you up for a physical for anything.

 

This is exactly what happened to me and my partner. He self-diagnosed and then his GP (wrongly) confirmed that's what it was but turned out after tests it wasn't. We were both extremely upset at first (before the tests came back) but we were sent immediately to a counsellor who explained to us that it was nothing to worry about and herpes is just a cold sore. It can lie dormant in your system for years and years and years... if it is herpes you may never get another outbreak and while it lies dormant it's not contagious.

 

One thing I would say though is you should get the tests done asap because once the sores have gone you cannot be tested unless you have another outbreak.

[ToF]

Please do not worry. Herpes is not a MAJOR problem, it is simply a cold sore on your private's. Go to an STD clinic and make sure you see a counsellor because if you do have it, it is nowhere near the problem you think it is.

 

Herpes is an incurable STD, and this girl is fourteen years old.

I'd say worrying should definitely be on her agenda.

[Fudgie]

I'm not going to lie, you're going to have to worry. I'm with TwistofFate

 

Yes, it's "just a cold sore"...but you have to worry about treatment, outbreaks, etc. And what will you tell future partners?

I think the worst thing about this is that you're 14.

I'm not lying..it's a damn serious condition. You NEED to go to a doctor.

 

go to an STD clinic and you can get confidentiality there as well as testing/examinations done. That is what they are there for. It's better to go there now and not later.

[Jd1983]

It can lie dormant in your system for years and years and years... if it is herpes you may never get another outbreak and while it lies dormant it's not contagious.

 

One thing I would say though is you should get the tests done asap because once the sores have gone you cannot be tested unless you have another outbreak.

 

Herpes are definitely contagious. There's a big difference between HSV I and HSV II. In either case, they are both contagious.

 

Secondly, if you got tested just because the sores are gone, it can still be detected even if you don't have an outbreak.

 

OP - I strongly advise you to have this checked out. If it is indeed HSV-II, there is no cure for it. However, you can use medication to relieve the discomfort and heal the sores much more quickly.

[turnera]

And tell your parents. They will NOT kill you.

[Brownstone322]

Your giving him oral sex could not transmit genital herpes back to you. If you were to contract herpes, it would appear at the location of physical contact.

 

Unless, of course, there's more to the story than you've divulged. Did he perform oral sex on you?

 

EDIT Oh, I see. Your "pubic areas touched." Not impossible, but probably not -- shaving results in mild skin irritation, and that's a lot more likely. Plus, a herpes outbreak is more than a bump or two, so I'd "monitor the situation" for now.

[Red Fox]

Try not to worry, for a start you don't know what it is, it may just be that you have a cold and have a pimple! You have noticed something different and you are worried therefore I would say you need to go to the doctor. Only they will be able to tell you what it is.

 

In the meantime remember that you don't know what it is, and you cannot diagnose things over the internet. Also there is a lot of stigma about it. The reality is a bit different.

 

"-Most people have herpes simplex - 70% have facial herpes (cold sores) and 10% have genital herpes in the UK. These figures are even higher in other countries including the USA and the developing world.

 

-Three quarters don't know they have it: 1 in 4 will have no symptoms; 2 in 4 will have only mild symptoms and are unlikely to be diagnosed; 1 in 4 will have more noticeable symptoms and will be diagnosed.

 

-Herpes simplex is seldom of any medical importance - some people are quite ill when they catch it but so are some people who catch flu....

 

-It is not incurable - your immune system cures it very well and stops recurrences for most people.....

 

-It's not the only infection that stays with us once we catch it - chickenpox and glandular fever also hide in the body but no one makes a fuss about them."link removed

 

I don't see much of a difference between herpes type 1 and herpes type 2. Both types can cause either cold sores or genital sores. link removed

 

I have had a cold sore on my lips. That means I have the Herpes virus. I had a cold sore well before I ever did anything sexual. I have never had any treatment because it was very mild. My immune system stops the virus from doing anything. Very rarely, and I am talking maybe once every 8 years if I am really stressed, tired and have flu or a bad cold I might get a cold sore again. My partner knows and it's not a big deal. There is no kissing and my lips don't go near her both if I think I am about to get a cold sore, when I have one, and after I have one for a period. She may even already have the virus herself anyway and just never ever had any symptoms, it's very very common. Just a little care is all that is needed. Cold sores are often (but not always) herpes type 1, and this can infect the genitals, but a little bit of care stops this. To be honest having the virus to me is very trivial.

 

"....to be infected with a herpes simplex virus is a state of normality. We tend to make this into a big deal instead of to say that to be infected with herpes virus is something that happens to all adults, some with symptoms and some of us without." link removed

 

"If you have not been diagnosed with herpes simplex, do not jump to conclusions! Herpes simplex can appear in various ways so the best way to be sure about what you have is to get a swab test done at a Sexual Health Department (GUM clinic) at your nearest general hospital..." link removed

 

So don't panic but do see a doctor.

[obs]

Good post Red Fox. There's a surprising amount of misinformation being said in this thread by others. It's good to know if you contracted but it isn't the end of the world if you did. There is virtually no difference between HSV I (a cold sore) and HSV II (genital herpes) other than where they typically reside in your body.

[MD Geist]

Its very possible to have Herpes at your age and you have all the worrys to be scared and concerned about your situation.

 

I remember being in a situation back in the day where this girl was like 14 and I was 11 and she had slept around with quite a few men at that time and all of them caught something and I believe it was Herpes but it was scary for me.

 

I'm scared for you.

 

You should tell your parents and seek medical attention soon.

[arcadefire]

You should probably get a blood test to appropriately identify if it is herpes.

 

I know plenty of people who have oral herpes (cold sores), so really it's not the end of the world if you do carry the virus.

[Sports Fan]

Whether you have it or not, you need to get tested. And yes, you should worry. This isn't chlamydia where it can be cured and eliminated. Herpes does not go away and HSV 1 and 2 are not even close to being the same. HSV-1 is simply a cold sore. You get 1 cold sore and it's not painful at all. It's simply an inconvenience. HSV-2 on the other hand is multiple outbreaks and they are very painful. You can't compare a simple cold sore(1) and pus-filled blisters on your privates(2).

[Jennibean]

Ignore sports fan, that info is totally wrong. Where are you getting your info from dude?! Hsv 1 and 2 are very similar and are generally MILD! Most people with either have no symptoms whatsoever! The ones that do get cold sores either orally or genitally ( let's be real hsv in either location is just that...a cold sore!) manage them with good diet/exercise/supplements and medication! With time the outbreaks lessen! Don't scare the girl!

[MissyM]

us.

 

Secondly, if you got tested just because the sores are gone, it can still be detected even if you don't have an outbreak.

 

You are most definitely WRONG about this!

[MissyM]

Ignore sports fan, that info is totally wrong. Where are you getting your info from dude?! Hsv 1 and 2 are very similar and are generally MILD! Most people with either have no symptoms whatsoever! The ones that do get cold sores either orally or genitally ( let's be real hsv in either location is just that...a cold sore!) manage them with good diet/exercise/supplements and medication! With time the outbreaks lessen! Don't scare the girl!

 

This is my point exactly. Yes, get it treated, yes learn how to best live with it, but do not WORRY about it.

[MissyM]

Herpes is an incurable STD, and this girl is fourteen years old.

I'd say worrying should definitely be on her agenda.

 

Why exactly should she worry? What good will that do?

 

She should get diagnosed, if she has Herpes then get the facts, get treatment, learn how to live with and deal with the virus and move on with her life.

[MissyM]

As an extra thought just because I don't think Herpes is something to worry about, I do think that the young lady in question should definitely learn a valuable lesson from this.