Why me lord

[iamnothappy]

Ok i recently posted a comment about my husband of almost 5 years beign controlling and got some wonderful advise. Now the other day I made up my mind to save up my money and get a place of my own. That is the plan thus far. The other night he got mad at me because one of my friends sent me a message on facebook and I did not want him to read it. He said that I was hiding things from him and I must be doing something. So he snatched the laptop from me and read the message. He said whenever he asked me a question and I dont give him an answer then that means I am hiding something from him. What can I do about this?

[nutbrownhare]

Stay cool, stay calm - not easy in the face of this kind of behaviour. If you can bring yourself to, tell him you love him too much to want to hide things from him, but in this instance you were trying to protect your friend's privacy rather than hide things from him. Try and be as non-defensive as possible. You can't change him or his behaviour, so get as much support as you can from others.

 

Then, save, save as fast as you can - and run!

[iamnothappy]

Thanks for the advice

[Stay_home]

Ok i recently posted a comment about my husband of almost 5 years beign controlling and got some wonderful advise. Now the other day I made up my mind to save up my money and get a place of my own. That is the plan thus far. The other night he got mad at me because one of my friends sent me a message on facebook and I did not want him to read it. He said that I was hiding things from him and I must be doing something. So he snatched the laptop from me and read the message. He said whenever he asked me a question and I dont give him an answer then that means I am hiding something from him. What can I do about this?

 

You say that you're in a controlling marriage, you had the idea about saving up money to move out because of it. Why not just continue with that same plan if it's so bad?

[Thx]

It sounds like you are on the right track saving to move.

 

At that point, there will nolonger be issues like this facebook. (Let's hope.)

 

I admire your courage in making that decision, so many stick in there and try and fix something like this and from what I see it fails 100% of the time.

 

Um, stay cool as was suggested, be dilligent and anticipate any difficulties he might give you after the move. (Harrasment, stalkoing, pestering etc.)

 

And keep us posted!

 

Thx

[iamnothappy]

Thanks i will keep you posted.