I haven't cried... till today (venting)

[baxxter]

It's been 10 days since the break-up. I have more downs than ups, but I know I am progressing slowly.

 

Have talked so many people during that time, who were all supportive, and I have exhausted myself thinking about it.

 

It's second time he left me, and I am handling it quite differently this time round.

 

For one thing, I haven't cried. My eyes get tearly but no drops. I cried so much last time.

 

I wondered if that's because I am in deep denial. Not accepting the reality. Maybe by crying I will accept that he was gone? Am I refusing to get over it because shedding tears would help me move on? Am I resisting to let it go?

 

I really don't know. Like I said I have been thinking too much and am tired.

 

Today, I was in my garden, and sky was blue, I was surrounded by my plants, herbs and strawberries. And somewhere in my neighbourhood someone starts playing cello. It was so beautiful. It just hit my soul.

 

I began crying right there. Not a big cry, but tears came dropping. I was shaken.

 

Am I moving forward? One step closer to healing?

[pumpkinmoon]

I think it's possible that you still might be in some form of shock and denial after only 10 days.

 

I was left for a third time and for the first 2 weeks I was fine, but then I slipped and feel bad a lot of the time. I hadn't cried much either but lately I am crying more and more.

 

I think you just need to allow youself to feel whatever it is you feel.

 

Every day you are moving forward even though it might not feel like it. The days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months.... and throughout this movement of time you will start to think and feel differently.

 

I do think that you need to get the stuff exchanged as soon as possible though so you don't have that to think about. Be strong and get it done because the sooner you do, the better you will feel.

[MalibuOne]

Yes! Letting yourself feel is a big part of healing. I still do it. Not as often, but when I need to let it out, I do. Congratulations on making another step towards recovery.

[Skeptic76]

Baxxter, you are doing great. Thanks for helping to make me feel better on the other thread even though you are having a rough day. Fellow 33 year olds unite!