Never measure up....

[Ahhh]

Im mostly only attracted to pretty girls. Granted my definition of what makes someone pretty is subjective, but in general I like being with someone whom I consider good-looking. Im not talking like super models or anything like that, but the first thing I look at is a girls face. If Im not physicaly attracted to her face then it doesnt matter how cool she is, how great we get along or how smoking her body is...I cant get past it. Now, I know that makes me superficial, and we all wanna believe its how the person treats you that should matter, but is it so bad to want both!? Anyway, the last girl I was going out with (Ive posted alot about her on here) was beautiful IMO. I was excited to be going out with someone that I was so attracted to and actually liked. It didnt work out with her for alot of reasons, and Im convinced one of them was she was out of my league physicaly. I didnt measure up...you look at her....you look at me...you scratch your head and say...hmm, how'd that happen? I dont consider myself a bad-looking guy, but Im not exactly beating them off with a stick. So are there any success stories out there of people being in a relationship where the other person is out of their league? Also, does this mean Im too picky about who I date?

[savignon]

You shouldn't consider anyone you date "out of your league"....it suggests they are somehow better than you and if you believe that, then there's an unhealthy imbalance in the relationship.

And if you ask anyone, they will say their partner is attractive to them....so liking someone's face or body doesn't make you shallow. It's just normal.

[Lovelace]

1. You're normal. Everyone pretty much wants the best for themselves, and that includes people who they consider 'above them' in different ways.

 

2. Leagues exist, that's reality. Some people are more attractive than others. Some people are smarter than others. Some people are more accomplished than others. Some people are richer than others. To turn a blind eye to these facts is to turn away from reality. We all have something great about ourselves, it's true, but there are many people who are 'out of my league' and other people for whom I am out of their league.

[intolerable]

The guy I used to be with wasn't exactly someone you'd call good-looking, he's... "okay". At the risk of sounding totally full of myself, I was supposedly the "good-looking one" in our relationship, and was told that I am totally out of his league. But think about it this way, there are people (men and women alike) who DO get past the pretty exterior and see the person for who they really are, regardless of leagues. So an 'okay' guy and a 'drop dead gorgeous' woman can work, and there was this study I read that this situation actually makes couples more happy in the long run.

[chelsea13]

I understand how you feel, I always go for guys who are physically more attractive than me (those that are known as the 'pretty boy' at uni, or those who knows that they're hot and have plenty of opportunities with women) and then I end up getting disappointed, majorly disappointed. I would be hung up thinking whether it's because I'm not attractive enough.. which is true, I'm not. And the thing is I can't let go of this face thing as well, it seems like a must for me that he has to have a handsome face. My therapist said I'm going for the wrong guys, and I should lower my standards - that sucks.. I hate the 'out of the league' talk because I know it's true, yet I don't want to admit it.

 

MAn... life can be so tough. I wish that I can just get the one that I want.

 

OP, at least you had something with the girl. Those guys I'm into won't even consider dating me most probably.

[Stay_home]

I don't really have no set standard as far as what I'm looking for in the face on or on the toes for that matter. But I would like to be able to at least look at ya'll and I think that's fair of me or anyone to ask.

[jonny15]

To the OP.

 

You must have not been that far out of her league, since she let you date her.

[intolerable]

To the OP.

 

You must have not been that far out of her league, since she let you date her.

 

This is true. Everyone have their own perception of leagues. So maybe to the public she's out of your league, but for her you're not. You get what I mean?

[Lovelace]

Haha, i once went to the university psychologist's office when I was depressed, and he asked about my last relationship, and he asked if my ex was handsome. I told him he was, and he announced that that was my problem. That I am 'extremely average looking' and that I should really focus on dating men more like me.

 

Probably not the smartest thing to tell a suicidally depressed teenager, but the dude was middle-aged and clearly felt the tough love approach was going to be the way to NOT let me kill myself.

 

Didn't work. I still tend to date hotties, but I also end up getting disappointed by them and end up worrying that it was because I am not drop dead gorgeous. Objectively, I can tell I'm pretty, but if I don't get that validation from the guy I'm dating, well.....

[xyzzzz]

i've always wanted the hot guys but reality is they dont make moves on me lol but also i fell in love with those nice boys with average-looking faces who made moves on me ...so ive always been better looking one in a relationship.

anywayz lately ive decided to make a move on this guy who i consider hot.

[xyzzzz]

Haha, i once went to the university psychologist's office when I was depressed, and he asked about my last relationship, and he asked if my ex was handsome. I told him he was, and he announced that that was my problem. That I am 'extremely average looking' and that I should really focus on dating men more like me.

 

Probably not the smartest thing to tell a suicidally depressed teenager, but the dude was middle-aged and clearly felt the tough love approach was going to be the way to NOT let me kill myself.

 

Didn't work. I still tend to date hotties, but I also end up getting disappointed by them and end up worrying that it was because I am not drop dead gorgeous. Objectively, I can tell I'm pretty, but if I don't get that validation from the guy I'm dating, well.....

 

but still u got those hotties didnt u? even tho they didnt work out eventually.But being accepted by them still means ur not that bad urself i think?

[chelsea13]

Haha, i once went to the university psychologist's office when I was depressed, and he asked about my last relationship, and he asked if my ex was handsome. I told him he was, and he announced that that was my problem. That I am 'extremely average looking' and that I should really focus on dating men more like me.

 

Probably not the smartest thing to tell a suicidally depressed teenager, but the dude was middle-aged and clearly felt the tough love approach was going to be the way to NOT let me kill myself.

 

Didn't work. I still tend to date hotties, but I also end up getting disappointed by them and end up worrying that it was because I am not drop dead gorgeous. Objectively, I can tell I'm pretty, but if I don't get that validation from the guy I'm dating, well.....

 

But you did dated them, so you got something didn't you.

 

I went to the university's therapist last week too and my problem is that I'm way too attracted to hot guys as well, and my therapist said that I should consider dating someone not as hot.. Again, I was reading between the lines and it left me feeling bad cos I take it that she means I'm not hot enough to match up those guys. She was saying that I was choosing the wrong guys to fall for etc. Which is true, but it made me depressed.

[xyzzzz]

But you did dated them, so you got something didn't you.

 

I went to the university's therapist last week too and my problem is that I'm way too attracted to hot guys as well, and my therapist said that I should consider dating someone not as hot.. Again, I was reading between the lines and it left me feeling bad cos I take it that she means I'm not hot enough to match up those guys. She was saying that I was choosing the wrong guys to fall for etc. Which is true, but it made me depressed.

 

why dont u ask her what type of girls do hot guys like? if u want u can change to that direction,if it's good change.

Having said that, hot is very subjective.so every girl has the chance to be with hot guys.I remembered u saying u like dark hair dark feature guys? In my experience many of them like asian girls..I ,however,avoid those guys..I found the way they look at me sorta creepy.duh..im not their cute lil lamb....

[Ahhh]

To the OP.

 

You must have not been that far out of her league, since she let you date her.

 

Yeah, I agree. There had to be something that made her like me in the beginning. I know that there was something between us, but somewhere along the line she changed her mind and I cant figure out why. I keep thinking, and maybe its my male ego, that I can somehow get her to change her mind back. I just need to get over it I guess.