Sent A Birthday Card and Feeling Good

[jimmajam]

Well, the last time I really posted was that I was going to contact my ex. I decided with her birthday coming up, I'd wait and just send her a birthday card. I was kind of anxious and nervous leading up to it, but I wrote it up, got it ready last night, mailed it today and feel great about it. I had no urge at all to write anything about us or how I feel about her which was awesome to feel for the first time. I'm not even sure why I am posting since I don't need help with it. I guess I just want people to see there does come a point where you're healed enough and you gain back your self worth and you CAN contact ex because you DO still care.

 

I personally never thought I'd reach this point, but I did, and so will you. I still have a lot of feelings for my ex, but they aren't as strong after all the time we haven't talked and I can separate my true caring feelings for her and my stronger feelings that she no longer shares.

 

I would have preferred to call her like I used to ... called and text her a few times on her birthday messing with her acting like it was the first time I was saying it. However, she hasn't made an effort to contact me in probably 7 months and I gave up contacting her after my last contact in December. So, I believe a card was best to wish her a happy birthday. I really fee like I am back in control now that I don't really care about the outcome.

 

Anyone else send birthday cards? Were you completely healed or still hoping for it to spark something?

[doiiiieeezie]

Interesting question, I'm actually glad that you did it. It shows true control on your part. I didn't send a birthday card to my last ex for many reasons, but I don't condone it.

 

With that set aside, I know that I personally would send a birthday card to an ex of mine when I was in my teens/early 20s. While I didn't get an immediate response, I felt comfortable in knowing that I could send him a card without feeling that I was hanging on to the past. A year later (we reconciled, long story), he told me that he read and kept all of my cards, and pointed to the shoe box that was in his closet. It was sweet to know that while he and I were not talking at that time, my gestures were appreciated.

[amandamarie]

Glad to hear you are doing better jimmajam. Yes, I too sent a birthday card to my ex recently. Was I trying to spark something? No, not really, although I wouldn't be opposed if that had happened. However, that wasn't my intent. I guess I have realized that nothing I do is going to spark something at this point - it is all up to him really. After spending that many yeras, and that much time with him, I guess I just felt like it was the right thing to do. It's like you said, just because you aren't with them doesn't mean you don't care as a person any longer.

[TurtleDove12]

My exes birthday is Saturday. I'm working in the same building as she on that date. I hope to avoid her all day, and will not be sending a birthday card. I'm obviously not in the same place as you are mentally.