Feeling hate for the ex, is it just another stage of healing?

[coldheart]

It's been 2 weeks since I heard from her, and I've gone out on a few hot dates which are (by far) much more suitable candidates for me (starting with the fact that my ex was already married being the main factor). This has allowed me to view my old relationship in another perspective, and see all the bad decisions I made, and all the selfish decisions my ex made. This has brought me to a stage of dislike towards her, borderline hatred. I know this is an unfortunate sign of remaining feelings or care for the person, and I never wanted to really "hate" anybody, but I cannot help it. Can anyone explain why this happens?

 

I'm trying to process all the reasons she disconnected the way she did after practically having "fallen" for me, and cannot come to a conclusion besides her using me (lies and deception) as an easy out for a stage or boredom in her current relationship. End rant.

 

-CH

[ellandroader]

It is another stage of healing. I don't remember the full process but I think that acceptance isn't too far from you now. Just work through the thoughts and emotions, let them unravel and I think you will see the hatred dissipate.

[brokenheart41]

Hate and anger, yes, it's definatly a sign that you're moving on. If you can have feelings for another person: more proof that you're getting there.

 

But be aware: it's a bumpy road and you might end up with a little scar on your soul.

 

Good luck, i'm at the same stage as you right now We're getting there...slowly...

[keith515]

I just started feeling anger myself today. I'm hoping acceptance is next. I've already went through depression.

 

I think anger might be a good thing because I feel more alive with anger than the melancholy feeling I've had for the past few weeks.

[jennb0benn]

Yes, it's normal. I usually feel many moods at once -anger, acceptance, nostalgia, and happiness to name a few. But deep down, I don't have such hateful feelings for him.

[DeenasRhino]

I'm at the same stage as you but overall I've been moving forward.

[bungalo]

I think the fact that she is married should be a huge part of your seperation processing. She never was available really. It's worse

dating someone who is single and dumps you for no one. Being alone

is a better option than being with someone. Yikes......

[ElectricSheep123]

You knew what you were getting into. I have no sympathy for someone who helps someone else to cheat.

[stalked]

Me either, sorry.

[coldheart]

I agree. I felt bad while doing it, and I feel bad now. Lesson learned although it DOES take two to tangle and temptation is not always easy to deal with.