Enough is enough!

[pumpkinmoon]

This video was posted on a thread recently so I thought I would base a thread around it and also give people more opportunity to see it,

 

 

 

It really does make so much sense and I have watched it many times now which has helped me.

 

I have been thinking lately and it makes me pretty angry that we allow people to get us this way. Why should we want to be with someone who just walked out? Why do we feel sad, I know it's all about the loss of something but still. If someone doesn't want us, we shouldn't want them either. If only it was that easy eh?

 

We are all human beings. I am my own person in a world of many others and you too are your own person. And while we may feel sad, we just get on with it, even though it doesn't really feel like we are.

 

We are still breathing in the oxygen to keep us alive. We are still eating to survive, still going to work. We can survive the day, week, month and year without them. This we know even though it really feels like you cannot go on anymore, but you will.

 

And through all this we pine for the person who doesn't want us and end up pushing the people away who do want up. Where on earth is the logic in that?

 

Just some of my thoughts on it. If you have any of your own, feel free to add them and I hope this may help some people.

[shuttlefish]

"What am I supposed to do now?"

 

"get up and go on with your life. It's alright Sit around cry a bit, be depressed for a minute but dont stay there too long. GET UP AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE."

 

Seasonal people with lifetime expectations.

 

Just some of the great advice from this clip, I urge those with broken hearts to watch this clip. It's great!

 

Especially the last couple minutes. (on happyness and peace)

 

Thanks for posting this, I've never heard of this "guy" before and this is great!

[pumpkinmoon]

It's great!!!

 

It's really making me strive to be a stronger person and get rid of the rubbish people in my life without hanging onto false expectations of people who just do not have much, if anything to offer!

 

"God send me worse" lol.

 

I like, "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." This quote really helps to get my head around the person I "thought" he was compared to who he "really is"

[brandnewday47]

This is great:

 

"If someone shows you who they are... Believe them."

 

"AFLAC!!" haha

 

Sometimes it takes us a while to learn these lessons though. I think for me I can say it has been a tough but invaluable experience.

[KittyBoo]

This is very good food for thought and it makes a lot of sense. I have spent many hours crying over someone who doesn't want to be with me and I think they were wasted tears. I deserve someone so much better and if he wouldn't have broke up with me then I never would get the chance to meet this new person.

 

Thanks for the post. Sometimes someone comes along at just the right moment and posts something very helpful. That is what you have done for me today.

[pumpkinmoon]

And so do I, most of us deserve better on this site. I have to thank him for making me see the light and get the hell out of my life!

[pumpkinmoon]

Oh and, if they didn't deserve you when they had you, they ceratinly don't deserve you after leaving you. Positive thoughts people, positive thoughts...

[moving]

This was a really good clip for me to see. So much of my hurt with my ex has come from my "breaking my own heart" - wanting hm so badly to be someone who he isn't, and certainly couldn't be for me. I realized very early on in our relationship, for instance, that he was someone who was completely emotionally unavailable - not in a mean/malicious way, but simply having no understanding of, or empathy for, other people's emotional struggles (and, because of his emotional detachment, having comparatively few emotional struggles of his own - and then not really wanting any external support to deal with those.) But I wanted him so much to be someone with whom I could have an emotionally close relationship, and then post-breakup, an emotionally close friendship. And every time he said something unfeeling/uncaring/insensitive, and didn't understand how it made me feel even when I explained it to him, I let myself get hurt again and again - I broke my own heart. And I made it all about me, wondering internally: "What do I have to do to get you to be more emotionally supportive? If I was different - smarter, more musical, etc - would you be more caring then?" This, despite the fact that he treats everyone else in his life the same way, and has shown me more anecdotal examples of that than I can count.

 

In other words: if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck - AFLAC! and, "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." I don't know why this simple, simple thing has taken me so damn long to accept! It helped to hear this.

[pumpkinmoon]

Moving, that sounds like me. I suppose in a way I broke my own heart too. He also lacked empathy, couldn't put himself in my shoes or see any situation he put me in reversed. Didn't care that he hurt my feelings over and over again. I also never had those emotional conversations or support from him. I always felt there was a wall between us.

 

But as they say, take is cheap and you need to look at actions.

 

I had no reason to believe that he would mature into someone worthwhile, when the truth of it was that he couldn't make enough time to get off his butt to get a bank account. If he can't do something that simple, how on earth would he ever have gotten a better job, how would he ever have been able to afford payments on a house. No, even at the age of almost 27, going to the gym to build muscle and playing hockey was more important than everything else. I wonder just where he will be when he is too old for hockey and too old to spend so much time at the gym.

[TurtleDove12]

You're moving in the right direction.

[sidehop]

As much as a person in a relationship hurt you, deserted you, and the victim feeling alone, the pain really comes from not knowing what the future holds and losing yourself in that state.

 

It's normal to get upset, cry, be hurt and even be mad at the person who hurt you but then comes the time when you have to let go. Both the person who hurt you and also allow yourself to move on. Otherwise you're now hurting yourself even deeper making healing difficult.

 

It's easy to say so to someone who's been emotionally wrecked but such pain in any situation should always be something to be considered as an opportunity to learn and change. It does make all of us stronger in the end. There's always hope and there's always something to be thankful for.

[TurtleDove12]

As much as a person in a relationship hurt you, deserted you, and the victim feeling alone, the pain really comes from not knowing what the future holds and losing yourself in that state.

 

It's normal to get upset, cry, be hurt and even be mad at the person who hurt you but then comes the time when you have to let go. Both the person who hurt you and also allow yourself to move on. Otherwise you're now hurting yourself even deeper making healing difficult.

 

It's easy to say so to someone who's been emotionally wrecked but such pain in any situation should always be something to be considered as an opportunity to learn and change. It does make all of us stronger in the end. There's always hope and there's always something to be thankful for.

 

YES!

 

Great post.

[pumpkinmoon]

I agree. The future you thought you had with a certain person is now gone so not knowing what is in store really is scary. But if I'm honest, right now, I don't really care. What will be will be.

[KittyBoo]

It's been less than 24 hours since I first saw this post and I have gone back again to watch the clip along with some other Madea clips on You Tube.

 

This must have been EXACTLY what I needed to see because after 7 months of feeling crappy I now feel a sudden strength that I didn't have before. To hell with him. It's time to start living again and looking forward to the future.

 

Thank you OP. I feel soooooooo much better today than I have in a long time.

[pumpkinmoon]

It's been less than 24 hours since I first saw this post and I have gone back again to watch the clip along with some other Madea clips on You Tube.

 

This must have been EXACTLY what I needed to see because after 7 months of feeling crappy I now feel a sudden strength that I didn't have before. To hell with him. It's time to start living again and looking forward to the future.

 

Thank you OP. I feel soooooooo much better today than I have in a long time.

 

That was really touching. Thank you for posting this. I feel the same as you. They're not worth it!

[Silent_Whisper]

This clip alone has healed me. after a 5 year relationship, and waiting for her to move here for the last 13 months, this has truly healed me. She was never emotional with me. Everytime I made a romantic gesture she always thought i was up to something or call me gay. She never deserved me and for the first time in almost 9 weeks, I went to sleep with a smile on my face, and woke up with no fear. I think this morning was the first time I got out of bed, looked myself in the mirror and smiled. Thanks so much for posting this.

[biggerheart]

very nice. Good job

[brandnewday47]

I've already posted in this thread, but thanks again theshoefairy. Letting go of them is hard, even if you know it is the best thing for everyone. The fear that I think a lot of us need to overcome, at least I know I do, is that I wont meet someone that will fulfill that hope and dream of finding someone to grow old with. For myself, I don't open up very easily to people and when I finally do commit to open up to someone and they decide someone else is better than you, it is a hard to get back to that point.

 

Even though this is a comedy video, it is a great reminder to push on.

[pumpkinmoon]

I have that fear too. I didn't at first but it's creeping up on me now. Just have to believe that you will. I am sure it will all fit into place in the end.

[brandnewday47]

At least I know that the ex was a leaf , and we are looking for a root... hopefully we will find our own roots!

[pumpkinmoon]

Yeah lets hope those evil leaves don't end up getting blown around in our gardens again lol

[Radeon]

This is an amazing clip. I love it.

It's so right: people NEVER change. I got with my ex hoping I could change her, hoping I could pull her out of her self-destructive behavior and make her a better person, and I thought i did for 3 years, but then I realized she was just fooling me. They don't change, and they'll always show you who they really are in the end.

 

To all of us that have been walked out on, cheated on, or abused in any way, it's true. We all saw it coming, but we were so ignorant, and we trusted our partners so much that we chose not to listen to the signs. We chose not to believe it. But I personally knew it would happen, I just trusted her so much that I never thought she'd do that to me.

 

Thanks for the video, it really helped.

[brandnewday47]

haha, thanks that made me laugh out loud

[bluberry]

thanks so much for the video clip..

 

my ex strung me along before and i thought things would change but it's true, people don't change. today is a good day so i can say that the best thing he ever did was to break up with me and let me go because i couldn't do it.

[TurtleDove12]

That's not entirely true. People do have the capacity to change, but they have to want to, and try really hard. I say this because I have changed.

 

But trying to change someone else, or relying on them to change someday? Nope, not gonna work.