Ex gave me a gift

[Flyby]

3 Months ago my ex and I decided to call it quits - kind of a mutual breakup.

The breakup was due to religious differences. We were deciding whether we could be in it for the long haul - he was confused because he wanted a family that would be religiously united and didn't want to force me to convert either. To add to it, it was also a long distance relationship.

 

I met his dad during a busniess meeting last year and when his dad got home, he insisted that he contact me. That's how it all started.

 

Even after the breakup we remained friends. The very next day after we called it quits, he still contacted me. Eventually contact wasn't as frequent as before and a month after the breakup, he contacted me on Skype simply to let me know that he met someone new and he was in a new relationship. I told him I was happy for him, he then wanted to call me. He talked for 5 minutes, but there was someone in his office and he said he would call back. He called me 10 minutes later, but this time I didn't answer.

 

One evening, about 2 months after the breakup, he called me - my phone was on silent, so he called on another number which my dad answered. He asked me where I was hiding myself and started chatting like nothing was wrong. He even brought up good old times. He ended the conversation with "Bye, Love you."

 

During the time we were broken up, I still assisted him with a trip he planned to my country. Besides helping with this, there was only friendly chit-chat between us.

 

He was in my town for a few days. We decided that we would meet up to say Hi, but because of circumsatnces beyond our control, we never met up. He said he really wanted to see me, he brought me and my family some gifts. He eventually left it at his uncle's place. It was a bag of good coffee, a bottle of my favourite pickles (I think his mom sent this) and a bottle of reasonably expensive perfume - I assume it's a thank you gift.

 

I sent him a message thanking him for it and he sent one back saying that I'm welcome and thanked me for all my help.

 

He hasn't mentioned the new girl again. When he first told me about her, he said that only told her we were very good friends and that I'm someone he wants in his life. He never told her about our history and he said there is no need for her to ever know.

 

Now, I'm confused - I'm not sure if he would continue a relationship with me or if I should just move on. He is very proud, I doubt he would admit he made a mistake by letting the relationship go.

 

I feel so frustrated, I just wanted to vent a bit! Clear my head... Sorry for the long story...

[dancingcolors]

It sounds like he has a new girl. I don't see what there is to be confused about. It sounds like he is trying to be amiable to you, not like he is trying to get back with you. I think you mattered to him but the religious difference made it not ok, to be with you.

 

If you live in different countries and have different religions, it seems pretty clear to me. It doesn't sound like he is being entirely honest with the new girl though.

 

I wouldn't dwell on this, and think he wants to get back with you. Be glad he is being kind, and cares enough about you as a person, to be friendly and give you a thoughtful gift.

 

What religion is he?

[Flyby]

Thank you, it helps getting an outside perspective on this. The distance does make reconciliation difficult. And he has always been completely honest with me. I'm sure if he did want to reconcile it would've happened by now.

 

I just don't want to look back years from now and think that the signs were there but I chose to ignore it. He was very confused at the time we broke-up. I'm really happy that we can still be such great friends. But now I am stuck in a dilemma - No Contact for a while, so that I can start moving on or continue the freindship. I don't want to hurt his feelings either.

 

He is Ismaili, it is a branch of Islam. They are allowed to marry outside their faith without the spouse having to convert. Prior to starting the relationship, we discussed religion and we decided that we had no problem that we came from different faiths. He was nominated to a new post in his religion and this changed everything.

 

It's difficult to just stop thinking about someone and go separate ways, especially if the relationship ended at a very high / loving point in the relationship.