pumpkinmoon Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Well to be quite frank, I'm getting annoyed! I made my ex aware of the way in which I wanted him to return my things. I then sent an email on Monday asking him to either mail them or leave them at the side of my house. I want all this over as soon as possible so that I can move on and not have to think about having contact again. I sent the quote for the car today too. But nothing from the email I sent, no response and no things returned. I live about 10 minutes away, you would think that after all he has put me through that he would have the decency to return my things as soon as possible like I asked. If I don't have them by the end of this week, I feel I am going to flip. If I don't get them, which I know I won't because he took ages last time, then what should I do? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Having read most of your threads about this guy and what a jerk he was... Take him to small claims court. I really hope you can completely detach from him and heal because this guy has drained enough out of you. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 They're not worth enough to claim for but they're my things and I want them. I have been very civil considering. Last time it took him a month to get my things to me. Maybe it's bugging him that this time I didn't beg or plead, I just walked away. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Yet another tick in the looooooooonnnng list of reasons this guy is a total doucher. LOL Let it be liberating! I hope you get your things back but don't waver on strict limited contact and stay on the same path to moving on. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 Yet another tick in the looooooooonnnng list of reasons this guy is a total doucher. LOL Let it be liberating! I hope you get your things back but don't waver on strict limited contact and stay on the same path to moving on. Oh don't worry about that, I have no desire to contact him. I feel repulsed in some ways by him. It just bugs me, if it were the other way around, I would get the persons things to them straight away to allow them to move on! I think I deserve that at least! Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Your possessions are the last pawn he has when it comes to degrading or controlling you. For your freedom from that crap, I'd say losing those things would be a bargain. You just have to look at it that way or the injustice will turn you on your ear. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Oh don't worry about that, I have no desire to contact him. I feel repulsed in some ways by him. It just bugs me, if it were the other way around, I would get the persons things to them straight away to allow them to move on! I think I deserve that at least! It's just another way for him to be immature and disrespectful. Argh, I really want to punch this guy for you. It sounds like he really has it common. Pow, right in the kisser! Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Dude is legit...in the fail department. If he does not return your things, I would personally seek him out and make him give them back to you. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Your possessions are the last pawn he has when it comes to degrading or controlling you. For your freedom from that crap, I'd say losing those things would be a bargain. You just have to look at it that way or the injustice will turn you on your ear. I 100% agree with this, in this case. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 I don't see why I should lose out on them. I don't get it though because he is'nt a controlling person anyway so I don't see the issue. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 I don't see why I should lose out on them. I don't get it though because he is'nt a controlling person anyway so I don't see the issue. He is/was abusive, right? Abuse is a form of control. Most abusers are very controlling people. Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 I don't see why I should lose out on them. I don't get it though because he is'nt a controlling person anyway so I don't see the issue. Perhaps not controlling because he's out of control. He might be trying to hold these belongings over you and he's hoping for something. You shouldn't lose out on them if you value them. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 24, 2010 Author Share Posted June 24, 2010 He is/was abusive, right? Abuse is a form of control. Most abusers are very controlling people. Well In a way. More emotional abuse in the way that he knew what he was doing was hurting me but he kept doing it. Doing things he knew I wouldn't like and then hiding them. He would then get defensive if I found out and got upset. He was never violent of verbally abusive though. The only control that I think he may have had and knew it was that I found it hard to leave the relationship and he always found it easy. Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Well In a way. More emotional abuse in the way that he knew what he was doing was hurting me but he kept doing it. Doing things he knew I wouldn't like and then hiding them. He would then get defensive if I found out and got upset. He was never violent of verbally abusive though. The only control that I think he may have had and knew it was that I found it hard to leave the relationship and he always found it easy. What a guy... Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 24, 2010 Author Share Posted June 24, 2010 What a guy... When I read my own words I am well rid, it's just hard to believe I am actually talking about him! Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 When I read my own words I am well rid, it's just hard to believe I am actually talking about him! Hey, that's what this board is here for. You figure things out for yourself, far more than even the members of this board could do for you. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 25, 2010 Author Share Posted June 25, 2010 Still don't have my things!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Still don't have my things!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Ridiculous. You see how he's putting that control on you? Take it back! Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Ridiculous. You see how he's putting that control on you? Take it back! I was thinking about this today. Why does my ex get to have it so easy? She cheats on me, then dumps me, and can quickly move on leaving me with the pain inside? BULL. I'm going to try my best to get this monkey off my back and make a good life for myself...and I will treat my loved ones the best, I always take care of my loved ones. Too bad for me...yes. Too bad her too though. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 25, 2010 Author Share Posted June 25, 2010 Ridiculous. You see how he's putting that control on you? Take it back! How do I take it back? I can't just go to his house and barge in. And I wouldn't want to either. I don't want to see him! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 25, 2010 Author Share Posted June 25, 2010 I was thinking about this today. Why does my ex get to have it so easy? She cheats on me, then dumps me, and can quickly move on leaving me with the pain inside? BULL. I'm going to try my best to get this monkey off my back and make a good life for myself...and I will treat my loved ones the best, I always take care of my loved ones. Too bad for me...yes. Too bad her too though. Not too bad for you, GOOD FOR YOU! Link to comment
Hell_On_Heels Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 TurtleDove, I am beginning to suspect that we (the dumpees) hurt now. They (the dumpers) will hurt forever - and a sick kind of hurting, too. The kind that never heals because they don't have the courage to let their pain ever see the light of day. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 25, 2010 Author Share Posted June 25, 2010 TurtleDove, I am beginning to suspect that we (the dumpees) hurt now. They (the dumpers) will hurt forever - and a sick kind of hurting, too. The kind that never heals because they don't have the courage to let their pain ever see the light of day. That makes a lot of sense indeed! Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 TurtleDove, I am beginning to suspect that we (the dumpees) hurt now. They (the dumpers) will hurt forever - and a sick kind of hurting, too. The kind that never heals because they don't have the courage to let their pain ever see the light of day. Perhaps this is true. And yet, I'm slowly beginning to realize that caring about the emotions of others who do not care about myself is foolish. Let them be happy. Let them be sad. I wish no ill will upon them. I wish positives for myself, my friends, loved ones, and all of the ENA population. Link to comment
Hell_On_Heels Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I agree. I don't wish ill on them, either. Karma tends to take care of those things for us...and while karma is often much rougher on people than perhaps I would be, it is beyond my control. It means we can put our energy and recources into those who deserve it. Link to comment
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