Emotinally drained and confused

[lostninsecure]

Im lost and insecure over this mess.

Last Oct was the day my world fell apart. my BF of 4 years i am 37 he is 32 was acting distant for a month, come to find out he met another girl and completely cut me out of his life. No answers, not email to write to, changed his cell number.

i was completely devasted and lost with so many questions, I nearly admitted myself to the physciatric ward.

The only things he said to me is Its all his fault, he is sorry, he did love me, I am a great woman and it wont be hard for me to find a guy to love me as long as he is a good guy. He basically left me hanging and confused.

So at the state I was in, I went on a complete crazy acting frenzy.

i hacked his email, found out who the girl was (she was 19) Contacted her and told her all the dirty deeds I had on him, made her feel like a piece of trash. Of course she didnt believe.

I was so hurt and overreacted to the extreme. Our back and forth words continued for 5 months and I finally gained control of my actions, that i am not proud of.

I met someone in Dec and have been dating him since, he even asked me to marry him already.

Well he is very angry how my ex treated me in the end, he dont believe in walking away like a coward.

So I decided my life is on a new path the past is behind me, I want to apologize to my ex and forgive him for what he done to me, so I wrote him a message on Facebook, I let him know I was wrong to harass his new GF, I am sorry, please forgive me, I forgive you ect..Well he never responded. I knew right away not to expect a reply, so Im okay with that.

So 4 days later my new Bf was furious my ex couldnt have the dignity to reply and with answers I deserve for him hurting me the way he did, he writes my ex and completely trashed him for being hirrible to me.

My ex writes him back and asks to meet him to discuss what happened. that he is angry that I was mean to him after the break up and told his new GF off.

Im confused as to why he cant conversate with me but to my new BF.

He broke my heart and left me emotionally crippled for months and he is playing the victim??

Can anybody explain why he can't talk to me? Why he wants to talk to my new bf?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am not sure why your new boyfriend would even bother. Most people don't really want to deal with their partner's ex. The fact that you tried to contact your ex suggests that you haven't put this behind you and are still reaching out to him. He ended your relationship in a very cowardly, inappropriate way. Your reaction was over the top...both of you did wrong...but why apologize to someone who betrayed your trust and walked away from you without a word...why initiate contact with someone like that.

[brainfog]

My first reaction is that he knows what he did was awful and really doesn't want to stop you from moving on and being happy. Therefore he assumes not talking to you will make for an even break away for both of you.

He may want to tell your boyfriend that he has no ill feelings towards him and wishes you both well.

[lostninsecure]

I am not sure why your new boyfriend would even bother. Most people don't really want to deal with their partner's ex. The fact that you tried to contact your ex suggests that you haven't put this behind you and are still reaching out to him. He ended your relationship in a very cowardly, inappropriate way. Your reaction was over the top...both of you did wrong...but why apologize to someone who betrayed your trust and walked away from you without a word...why initiate contact with someone like that.

 

I needed to try and make peace with him, he was apart of my life for a long time, and never hold grudges regardless of the situation, and just wanted him to atleast say he understands and is also sorry, but I guess he still cant face me even through a text, so I tried I am relieved, I did my part and if I die tomorrow I atleast know I wasnt the coward in all this.

I do still care for him deeply, and love him in a deep kind of way but I am not inlove with him any longer and I wish i hated his guts but cant come to doing that.

[ForumGuy]

I think it is simple. He has his side of the story....his version of what happened, and wants to tell it to your new guy. You probably already know "his side of the story", so be prepared for your new guy to hear it and for him to come home with questions.