My abusive relationship story

[ted89blue]

I posted on here before about issues with my gf. Things have gotten alot worse. For a while I never thought that this relationship was abusive, but after researching online about why she acts the way she does everything points to that. It started as her getting mad at me for certain things I say, which were never intentionally meant to hurt her, but she would get mad anyway and aggressively put me down and tell me what a horrible person and boyfriend I am. Then at one point she started cutting herself, and told me all the time that I make her do it everytime by the way I am. I never say or do anything to emotionally or physically hurt her but she claims I do. She's also made me stop seeing and talking to friends I've had because they are female. One friend I had for over six years and we did have a sexual past, but we're now very good friends. My girlfriend made me stop talkiing to her and used her cutting and suicide as threats to make me stop. Now that we have those problems out of the way she just always puts me down about it and the fact that I've had more sexual partners than her. She calls me disgusting and I'm unworthy of anything good, but yet she tells me she loves me. Then just recently it turned violent. That day she punched me, slapped me, in the face and other parts of my body, and I never did anything back because it's always been my belief to never hit women. She always blames me for it and says that everything that is wrong in the relationship is my fault and she makes me believe it. She gets pissed off everytime I don't talk to her on my phone or not answer because I don't want to talk to her she makes me feel like less of a person. I sometimes want to die I feel like I'd rather kill myself than be treated this way. I just need help to get away from her but everytime I tried breaking up she said she'd kill herself if I left.

[Hurting85]

I think you need to call her parents or a close friend, tell them you plan on breaking up with her but she has threatened suicide if you do. You don't want her to commit suicide, but for your sake, you need to get out. Then she'll have someone to watch over her.

 

I am so sorry you've been through all that, and major kudos for realizing it and knowing what you need to do.

[HeartGoesOn]

She has you over a barrel, which is where she wants you. You are never responsible for someone who chooses to end their life through suicide, even though she'd like you to believe that.

 

I would tell her family, or the police that she is, or has been threatening suicide, and then get on with your life. You can't fix her, that has to come from within one self.

[ted89blue]

I just know that no matter what I do she will keep coming back and will not leave me alone, and if she can't get to me she will talk to my friends and then I'll have to hear about it from my friends I just want her out of my life and out of my friend's lives. None of them are close to her, but she can still get to me through them and I just don't want to hear from her anymore I'm sick of feeling like I'm worthless and terrible I want the chance to get my life straight and be happy again.

[DrKitten]

You can get a restraining order against her, which can state she can't contact your friends, or have someone else contact you for her.

[faithful14]

If you don't want to be with her, then gently tell her so. If she threatens to kill herself, I would call her parents or the cops.

[Interceptive]

If you don't want to be with her, then gently tell her so. If she threatens to kill herself, I would call her parents or the cops.

 

Nay, I wouldn't really tell her at all.

 

I was in this EXACT same position. You have to leave because if you don't, you'll kill yourself or do something else stupid because of the pain. But you can't leave because if you do, she will kill herself or do something stupid.

 

The best thing to do is a clean break-away, when YOU are ready. It took me months to be ready. You'll know when you finally have the strength to end this hell on earth. It is key to be quick, though. Delete from FB, Myspace, phone, email, ANY way she could contact you. Call her parents (or if she has convinced her parents that YOU are the crazy one, which happened to me), or her counselor, or her best friends, or the police. Call SOMEONE to watch over her, because although most abusive people only make threats, I know for your sake you would want to make sure she is safe. Don't bother arguing, it is MUCH too easy for abusers to convince you that you are the one being ridiculous, or you are the one who has been doing wrong. Don't listen, don't even give her a chance to fill your mind with lies again.

 

I hope you leave this soon, and I will be watching for update posts from you. Best of luck, and I'm sorry you have to go through this.