advice needed please xxx

[misscutey]

Hi there,

I was in a LDR for 6 months, I didnt want a relationship to start with just to stay friends, but he wanted more than that, anyway i found my feelings completely changing towards him, we always made time for each other and got on really well talking for hours. We both said I love you and had made plans to meet up, but one evening I couldnt get hold of him I panicked and thought of all the things he could be doing with someone else, and left a message for him saying things arent working out, he said he agrees with me and that I should start dating again, I was ok with that at first and we decieded to stay friends which was really hard, it was like we hardly knew each other, anyway things were fine until one day he just didnt respond to me at all. its been 5 weeks since i last heard from him, for the last 2 weeks ive had NC, but 2 days ago I sent an email just saying I miss him, to which I have had no reply, Its just frustrating why he didnt just say goodbye, rather than just ignore me, im worth more than that. do you think he will contact me ever again, I just dont know where I stand and it hurts soooo bad

[Live-N-Learn]

I am not sure why you were feeling insecure if one night you could not get ahold of him. His phone could have been dead or a number of other reasons. You may have instinctively knew something was wrong? It does sound like you panicked a little and sent the message he was hoping for from you. I think he wanted to end it and you let him off the hook by ending if for him. LDR's are hard to begin with and in the long run you may see this as a blessing.

 

I am sorry for what you are going through but it is best if you stop reaching out to him and start your healing process. You may want to take a look at why you have these feelings of insecurity and decide if they are valid or something from your past you are transferring into this situation.

[misscutey]

I was in an abusive relationship when we started talking to each other, he gave me the strength and confidence to get away from it. Sorry I didn't explain it properly, yeah I did just panic.

[Ms Darcy]

It's hard to say that he'll never talk to you again, but it's really hard to stay friends after a LDR break-up. It is possible that he stopped talking to you in order to heal from the break up. Why didn't he say bye? Who knows .... but it's not a measure of your worth. It's more of a reflection of some lack of maturity in him.

[misscutey]

Thank you for your replies, I know there's nothing else I can do, it just hurts so much sometimes, I thought we had a future together.

[Ms Darcy]

Thank you for your replies, I know there's nothing else I can do, it just hurts so much sometimes, I thought we had a future together.

 

Are you sad because he stopped talking to you or because your relationship is over? If you are sad about the lack of future, then I think you should take some responsibility for hastily breaking up with him instead of trying to talk through your concerns.

[misscutey]

Are you sad because he stopped talking to you or because your relationship is over? If you are sad about the lack of future, then I think you should take some responsibility for hastily breaking up with him instead of trying to talk through your concerns.

 

Believe me I do feel bad about that, I realise it was my fault. But to be fair I didn't really get a chance to explain anything, I have appologised more than once. I'm sad because the relationships over and because we can't talk anymore, I didn't realise what I had until it had gone xxx

[Ms Darcy]

That is definitely the toughest part of a break up. Hang in there, you will learn great lessons about yourself to take into the future.