Do women know a that a guy can't ask out a girl when she's the customer and he's on the clock?

[Pall Wall]

I'm on Cloud 9 over a customer girl I ring up every now and then at work. She' just soooo uber cute, and sweet, her name is Shelly. I want to ask her out SO SO bad, but I can't because when I'm at work at the Video store I'm not allowed to ask out a customer, because the person could take it as sexual harassment and I'd be easily fired, and this has happened before to two of my co-workers at their previous jobs. What really sucks is work is the ONLY place and way I'm able to see this sweet girl.

 

I have a sweet positive vibe with this girl everytime I see Shelly. Today I asked if she wanted recommendation help with our New Release Wall, she said sure, and just had to wait till I would ring up this mother & son. Keep in mind, the store was dead quite today, only people in there was me, Shelly, this other customer, and my manager friend Jenn. While I was ringing up the customer, Jenn came up and offered to help Shelly, and she told Jenn she was fine and she was waiting for me to help her So I escorted her ALL around the store, making great movie chit chat with her, being myself, and it felt wonderful with her, and she was without a doubt enjoying my helping her. But I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. She has mentioned "my roommate" before in the past.

 

I come to you ladies for your help of statistics as always, lol. If you go to a place to spend money at, and if you like the employee guy that works there, and he seems to like you but you wonder "Why isn't he asking me out?" Are you all aware that it may because that guy is not allowed, that he is at risk getting fired over sexual harassment? Is it a notion all women are aware of by now?

[Jpo]

I don't know that a lot of women think about it. My sister was just complaining to me the other day that this guy who worked at subway wouldn't ask her out (she is 18 ).

[renaissancewoman101]

Can you, while helping her out, drop hinting type questions to see if she HAS a bf and/or is interested in you? You don't have to come outright and ASK the question. Sometimes hints work better.

 

If she seems receptive, can you slip her your number without management seeing?

[Ebrithil]

I would say start up some small talk, Iv made a number of friends that work in shops just through small talk, you can learn a lot about them that way also.

[Speranza]

Maybe you could say, "Too bad we aren't allowed to ask customers out!"

 

I personally would never think of this being the reason - I know co-workers have problems/rules around this but I didn't really know it applied to customers. So she may not know.

[marshmlofluff]

I also had no idea that not asking a customer out was a rule!

[Pall Wall]

I did try to beat around the bush with tricking her into saying if she has a bf. I showed her this one recommendation that can make anyone cry, one involving animals. She was all, "Oh I don't know if I can watch that..." Now I can't recall exactly when she said this in which order. But whatever she said, that's when I was laughing with her saying, "Why won't your man (referring to her possible bf) let you cry on his shoulder watching this, lol?" And I figured either she is gonna say "He does" etc. referring to a him that is a BF, or she may deny and say "Oh I don't have a boyfriend." But she made niether of those claims. She just suggested that she can't watch crying movies alone. Aww it's killing me that I can't remember meticulously.

 

My instincts tell me it's a 50/50 or 60% chance either she does or she doesn't have a bf. About 2 months ago, with her rentals I rung her up on, sliped her a burned DVD disc of my fan-made movie trailers I made of my series "Heroes." And I saw her again a week later, and she said she was very impressed, and gave me the same compliments others give me that is "Your so talented with that, what are you doing working here, you should be out there with the Pros." It felt good to show myself off to her with my passionate talent.

 

If she seems receptive, can you slip her your number without management seeing?

 

It isn't just about asking her out wiether management is around or not, it's just an issue of her feeling discomforted. I could easily ask her out with nobody else around, but she can still file a complaint. I say again, This has happened to others in the past, including one of my managers at his previous job." I know it all may sound like Bullcrap, but my manager Jenn who is also one of my best friends (and very street smart) was assertive with me about this because she looks out for me. She's protective of me emotionally, and job-wise. Her and several other managers have looked out for me and warned me of this, that it's a major risk.

[renaissancewoman101]

From the conversation that you posted on here, it doesn't seem like she is "discomforted". She seems quite comfortable with you and seems to enjoy the interaction.

 

What do you plan on doing next to see if she is single?

 

That sucks that you can't ask her out while working, or at least chat about it in the conversation while helping her out.

[savignon]

Why not find out about movie or theater event that you think she might be interested in and suggest she email you for the details. That way she's making the "outside of work" initiative and you can pick it up from there.

I'd guess that even if you ask her out and she has a boyfriend, the worst thing that would happen is she goes to Blockbuster instead....I can't imagine she'd file a complaint.

[citymouse]

 

I could easily ask her out with nobody else around, but she can still file a complaint.

 

This is exactly why you should not ask her out while you're on the job.

 

I think the only way to get around this would be to keep engaging her in polite conversation, see if you can draw her out and get her to tell you things she likes to do, places she hangs out, concerts she may be planning to go to, whatever. For example, maybe she's a member of a hiking club or she goes to happy hour at a certain pub. OK, so you could join the hiking club or just magically/coincidentally show up at this particular pub, too.

 

Once you're outside of the work environment, I would think you would be a lot safer in testing the waters and possibly asking her out.

 

If you can't get her to reveal places she plans to go or things she plans to do-- maybe you could find out more about what her interests are -- for example, movies! -- and let her know about interesting things that are coming up around town. Is there a movie festival happening soon, for example? You might chat with her sometime and casually mention, I heard about this great event that's happening, and see how she reacts. If she thinks it sounds fun you could say, I'm going to be there at whatever time and maybe I'll see you there. Something like that. To me that wouldn't be like asking someone out on a date -- more like making small talk.

[citymouse]

Another idea. Does she belong to a certain church? You could join that church. LOL. I've heard it's a great way to meet people but I've never tried it so buyer beware.

: )

[Pall Wall]

I don't know if she does. It will be challenging TRYING to make small talk with her, because I don't see her pop by at the store often. I see her maybe once or twice a month.

[cm17]

Well bartenders do it all the time! Also my brother once got his receipt back with the waitresses number on it, they dated for a bit. Its not like nobody does this... That sucks! There are so many cute cashiers around town who love to flirt, and I've wondered why I've never been asked out by any of them.

[winchester3]

Write your number on the back of the receipt for her.

[Shudder]

how about reversing the question.. is it appropriate for a customer to ask someone who is working out?

[Pall Wall]

how about reversing the question.. is it appropriate for a customer to ask someone who is working out?

 

No problem with that. Certainly no policy, and I would not complain one bit But what are the odds of her asking me? Isn't it the principle that it always has to be the guy asking out the girl?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'd ask her to go see a movie sometime. You aren't asking her out, just as a friend.

 

You both enjoy movies (you work there, she visits often), I think it's safe to assume you have that in common.

[Pall Wall]

You both enjoy movies (you work there, she visits often), I think it's safe to assume you have that in common.

 

No she does not visit often. She visits maybe 3 times a month at most. I know this because I've seen her rental history of the past couple of months. But man it would be so enjoyable to watch movies with her thoe. I helped her find a copy of Batman Begins to buy, and she mentioned she's a huge fan of the Batman movies. I have a rare framed poster of Batman Begins in my room, (dammit, too bad I didn't mention that to her, it never occurred to me till now.)

 

(huge sigh) Never have I felt so dreamy of wanting to share my inner-fanboy side with a pretty cute girl to sit with on the couch and enjoy watching movies with.

[Pall Wall]

Shelly came into the store today as I worked, YAY. get so happy everytime I see her now, always a delighted greeting with her. I got a little busy with customers, but I managed to have a little small talk with her. She started by complimenting my "Dark Knight" pin that's below my name tag on my shirt, I've always worn it on my shirt for months And I recalled to her about her mentioning her love of the Batman movies and I told her about my cool rare poster that's framed in my room, and I told her about the Poster I'd love to photoshop of Dark Knight. And I got to tell her about my going to the Art Institute of Dallas full time soon, and she she looked at me feeling impressed. They way we were talking, it felt as if we could have talked much further but could not cause it was getting busy. And you know what? I felt THAT close...that close to asking her, not necessarly a date, but a hangout and talk, as friends. And I would love to start out as friends even, maybe.

 

But man I feel so alive when it comes to her...which brings another point I must mention. When she first walked in I was excited...but something came over me. I suddenly felt this nervous intense blood rush, and I felt that I was gonna faint, and I would not be able to know what to say. That "Oh my God it's her" feeling. But I mentally told myself, "GET A GRIP, DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC." And I played my cool, and was myself with her, and it felt good to be confidant with her. But after she walked out the door when she left, the rush came back to me. I felt like I was gonna faint again, and I quickly bought a drink to calm down, and I was so dry mouthed too.

 

Just what the hell is this? IS it what they call pyschosomatic? When it was happening I kept asking myself, "Am I doing this on purpose to myself? Is this a temporary feeling with her that will subside?"

[desert_rose26]

oh man...I wonder if any guy has ever felt like that about ME. lucky girl...haha..g'luck..it's a tough one. Try to read her body language...do some research on it..try to tell if she likes u in that way...um..can't u try to flirt with her and see if she flirts back? or would u get in trouble...coz it's not asking her out..and it's not harassment..just a compliment..with a wink..lol.

[goodfoot]

I think you should be safe asking her out. She seems to enjoy your company. I don't think she would file any kind of complaint as long as you are respectful about it.

[mhdl327]

I was in the same situation as you. I talked to this girl who was a customer for months at work but could never ask her out due to all the co-workers around and the place being busy all the time. So last week my schedule got changed and I knew I wasn't going to see her again because I would be working during closed hours. So I told her that it was probably the last day I would see her and slipped her my number...Its been 7days and she hasn't called. That's the problem with the guy giving the number, sometimes girls will not call. Some girls think that it's always the guys job to ask for the number or to call first. I don't see what the big deal is...if you like the guy give him a call or text, you don't necessarily have to ask him out, let him do that part but some girls will never contact a guy for the simple fact that the guy gave her his number. I took a chance and so far nothing but its worth it though because you will never know if you don't try and you might one day regret it.

[Brigadoon]

oh man...I wonder if any guy has ever felt like that about ME. lucky girl...haha..

 

That's exactly what I thought!

Good luck with this one; you sound like a lovely guy

[Espi]

Thanks for posting this...I'm gonna try to help you out.

 

First off, NEVER ask women how to pick up women. That's a no-no. Women do not think like men...

 

You wouldn't ask a fish how to fish, right? So don't ask women about women.

 

My direct responses in bold to your post:

[Espi]

I told her that it was probably the last day I would see her and slipped her my number...Its been 7days and she hasn't called. That's the problem with the guy giving the number, sometimes girls will not call.

 

 

You're 100% right...most women WILL NOT call men...it's really useless to give out your number to woman...

 

A man must make the move...even if you're busy and in front of other customers, you should say, "You know, _____, I'm really busy right now. Write down your phone number and I'll call you later." Even if she doesn't give you her number, she'll love your confidence.

 

Put the ball in her court...make her decide if she wants you. If she refuses to give out her number, just move on to the next girl. It doesn't matter if 100 girls say "no." It matters only when 1 girl says "yes."