Some Advice Please, About Ex's

[soporcogitavi]

Ive been with my girlfriend now for a few months, everything is amazing in every respect of the relationship. We have both expressed feelings that there is a connection between us that we have never had in the past with someone else.

 

She ended her last relationship about 1 year ago, the reason: he was extremely lazy, no ambition, smoked weed, and to cap it all off he cheated on her.

 

A little background, they lived together for 2 years the relationship last 3 years. When they broke up she moved out right away, lived with her aunt for 3-4 months, then moved out by herseld for about 6 months, dated a few guys, etc etc... Had her fun ( I guess you could say) We're both pretty open as to discussing our past relationships or time being single whe the subject comes up.

 

The question is sometimes she brings up her Ex BF and should I have cause for concern? Here's some examples:

 

"You've changed my opinion on guys, i thought all guys cheated on theire girlfriends and went to stripclubs like my ex."

 

"I cant believe Ive actually met someone that has the same interests as me, it would suck if i wanted to go for a walk my ex would just sit at home and do nothing"

 

"I got along better with my ex's brother then I did with him"

 

"Im glad we both like to cook and eat well, my ex was so lazy I would make nice meals all the time and he never cooked for me"

 

"I dont regret being with my ex, it enabled me to find out what i need"

 

one time we were in the car she said: "My ex's father lived there"

 

Somtimes she asks me about my ex, I rarely ever just bring her up in a conversation.

 

She doesnt bring stuff up on every conversation maybe 1 reference everyday or second day. She never says stuff that would show an emotional attchment or that she is still interested. She does not contact him nor does he in anyway. She has also cut contact with all mutual friends and his family. She really sweet, sends me text messages at work, we see each other everyday. Tells me im the perfect guy for her. etc etc...

 

She has told me she's over him not because i asked just because we were talking about exes and she asked when my last relationship was, and she told me that its a good thing we both had time between our last relationships, so we could experience single life.

 

Please let me know your thoughts or questions if you have

[misssmithviii]

You know I did this after I left my ex (he cheated on me too) and my man never looked into it. At the time I realized that I was trying to almost convince my man now that he's so much better than my ex. I was vocalizing my relief of him being out of my life at nothing more. Obviously that only lasted for maybe a couple weeks and then it ended. If she's doing this after a few months I'd let her know that it's inappropriate now.

 

Other than that, it's great that she's cut contact with her past - that's a very good sign and step towards having her own life.

 

I'm a bit confused as to what you need advice on - but if it's about how often she brings up her ex, those are my ideas. As I'm sure it bothers you, you need to tell her so and tell her it's inappropriate now (as I stated before).

[WomanWriter]

Well, I think it's innocent enough...she just wants to share her past with you. My ex and I did (and do) this too and I've gotten used to it. Since she also asks about your ex gf, she probably just wants you both to be involved in each other's lives. As long as she doesn't start comparing him to you in a negative way (like saying she wishes you were like her ex), I wouldn't worry. She's just vocalizing her appreciation of you. I would rather someone tell me about their ex than keep it to themselves. But only if it's in terms of innocent sharing and not comparisions with me coming out looking bad.