Whats going on and what to do?

[LAYAAN]

I'm reporting this for my friend. I will try to post the information as briefly and to the best of my understanding

 

Met this boy while in another (far) state, been friends for 3 yrs, been supportive through each other's rough time. He is a physician, now accepted into residency in LA. She is studying for PhD here, has 2-3 more years. She wants to be his GF and get married to him. Has sorta subtly suggested that she is interested in him. He calls regularly, sometimes every day, also mentions "I'm having lunch with this girl""I'm attending a wedding with that girl", but acts protective of this girl. Went to her lab, said hello to her boss. When he is in town, takes her out for lunch, wants to go to church with her.

 

There are at least 2 more girls here on campus that are super interested in the guy. They chase him all over the place. There is fierce competition to get this guy. My friend is tired of him going out with this girl, that girl, he isn't coming clean. She is tired of facing other girls (who think "Why is he having lunch with her?" They give her dirty look "You xxx! You are stealing my man"). When asked he says "No, I'm not dating any of these girls. They are just friends.", but then he will go buy them lunch, he will get up in the middle of the lunch with this girl to help grocery shopping with the other girl on campus. My friend is sick of his behavior.

She told him "I think I'm not what you are looking for. Clearly you are running around trying to please other girls. I don't want to talk to you again about this issue. I'm all alone here, there is a big group that these girls belong to. I don't want any fights like teenagers."

Him "Glad that we are having this conversation now. I didn't know you felt this way about this whole thing.", but doesn't address the issue, will give some lukewarm answer. Everytime they met here, they have been fighting on this issue.

 

So, now the Q is whether to stay friends with the guy or not? Is he gonna come around now that his residency has started and his life is a little more stable? Is this guy just clueless or playing fool? He is 30. My friend is 29. Is this guy just enjoying all this attention? Is he a player? Is he going to settle down soon or not? Its not possible to just be around as his friend and see him date other women.

[IntotheWild]

It's alright...you can tell us... the "friend" is you, right?

 

In any case, the guy doesn't sound honest. So let other women chase a dishonest guy...let it be their problem.

[LAYAAN]

seriously? Man, the friend is NOT me. This is my neighbor in the dorm. She is black, the guy is black. I'm really posting this for someone else. Anyways, I would not want to be another one in the looong line of women trying to chase the guy.

 

Thanks for your reply though.

[bar35]

He's a player. C'mon, he is a prized commodity. About to be a Dr.,young, with all of the privileges that accompanies that. He doesn't have to make a choice at this point because he is going to viewed as a catch for a long time to come. If your friend really wants to settle down, then she has to draw the line with him. If he says yes, great, if not, sianara.