How to stop having crushes while in a long-term relationship?

[ecofiend]

I live with my long-term boyfriend, but things have been a little difficult lately. I have a crush on someone I work with, but rarely talk to.

 

How do I stop developing crushes while in a long-term relationship?

[glucoze]

Good question.

 

I'll admit, I used to be like that. a lotttttttt.

 

There's your answer: there's difficulty in your relationship.

[blueeyedme]

I don't know that you can stop...you are alive, correct? It is healthy unless you are obsessing or acting on your crush.

[RedDress]

Crushes happen. Even when you are in a relationship - particularly long term ones. It's not that big of a deal. What's important is how you handle it...

 

- Don't cheat!

- Work on your relationship

- Spice up your sex life

- Take a vacation with your bf

 

The key is to use that energy and re-focus it. Don't use it as an excuse to stray...

[RyanGeist]

Crushes happen. Even when you are in a relationship - particularly long term ones...

 

This.

 

I'm inclined to believe this because of this:

 

There's your answer: there's difficulty in your relationship.

 

Relationships are hard, messy things. Difficulty is bound to happen in long-term relationships, because there's more time for things to go wrong.

 

The difficulty is a wedge driving you and your SO apart. Crushes can slip in the gap. Solve the problem, close the gap. Problem solved.

 

Maybe a better question than "How do I stop developing crushes" is "What's the problem in the relationship?"

[rosephase]

 

There's your answer: there's difficulty in your relationship.

 

Having a crush doesn't mean there is something wrong. It means your alive. We like people. We are sexually attracted to people. Even if your in the best relationship ever there will be times when you desire connecting (sexual, emotionally even spiritually) with other people.

 

There is nothing wrong with it. I don't even think it's unhealthy. Try to redirect that energy towards your partner. For some relationships it even works to share your crush with your partner so it doesn't feel like something you are hiding.

[ecofiend]

You guys are probably right.

 

Both the boyfriend and I are in a very stressful profession, and I believe that my crush developed partly because my coworker seems to deal with the profession better than the both of us.

 

My coworker is also in a serious, long-term relationship, but I can't help being attracted.

 

My boyfriend is also the very jealous type, and sometimes I really just want to give up the relationship.

[DrKitten]

My boyfriend is also the very jealous type, and sometimes I really just want to give up the relationship.

 

Seems like you have more issues than a simple crush. Why do you want to give up? How bad is the jealousy?

[SocialStigma]

Crushes are pretty normal I'd say, especially in a long term relationship. Lots of times it doesn't even have to do with liking the other person, just missing the excitement of having a crush.

 

The important thing is to not act on it and recognize that you do have a crush and stop it from progressing further by distancing yourself from said crush so that it does not become a problem.