DjSystemz Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 So apparently I haven't been on here for two years which is a good sign because that means I haven't had an issue until today. So i'm dating a really cute by kind of shy girl for 7 months now. Our relationship is excellent because we both have trust in one another and have never had an argument until today. So last night I get invited to go to a local lounge with her and her two friends. So I agree and I meet up with them around 11pm and we hang out there until 2am. Her best friends decides to go get a couple of grocery items at a local wal mart so we agree to tag along with her. After wards we went back to her place and had great sex. The night was fun and silly and me and my gf had a great time just being together no matter if we do the stupidest things This is how it always is. The next morning around 10am I talk to her and she tells me she wants to go out to a club tonight around 11pm. I tell her that I would go and it would be a good time to go with her friends and my friends. Then I bring up that we should all go to dinner around 7pm at this really nice restaurant near the club we planned on going. She told me that she didn't know yet. So i told her to think about it and get back to me. 5pm rolls around and I ask her if she wants to go out to dinner with me and my friends (note that she has never hung out with my friends before and they are perfect gentlemen) She tells me she has too much school work and she needs the time to do it because it's due Monday night. Note that today is Friday and she is a Freshman at a Community College and only taking two very basic classes and she currently doesn't have a job. Then I ask her if shes still is going to the club at 11pm and she tells me yes. Now I don't mind her going out at all, im not the type that gets jealous. It bothers me that she doesn't want to go to dinner with me before hand. What was she doing from 10am-5pm today? Shes making a bull * * * * excuse not to go for whatever reason and it feels like a slap in the face that shes going out tonight to a club. This isn't the first time this has happened. This happens very frequently. So this is what i told her. "Im not going to force you to go anymore, every time I try to do something with you and some people you give me a cold shoulder and give me a lame excuse, text me when you get home from the club so I know you got home safe" She replies with an ok and at 9pm tonight she asks "are you going to the club". Im obviously not if i told you to text me when you get back from there! So i replied with "no not tonight" And just right now I get a text asking why im not talking to her. So who is in the wrong here? I sacrifice my time to go out with your friends but you wont sacrifice yours to come to dinner with me for two measly hours? Something isn't right. Thanks for reading and give me some feedback. Also note that she isnt cheating on me if this is what your thinking. Link to comment
punk76 Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 you and her friends at a restaurant. who knows why, but in most cases i would also be coming up with a lame excuse to get out of it. but im a guy. and as a guy, i would never plan something like that unless it was totally necessary. Link to comment
DjSystemz Posted May 29, 2010 Author Share Posted May 29, 2010 why do you have to do things that are totally necessary ? you dont just go out and do things when you want? you must live a boring life. Link to comment
punk76 Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 i didnt explain well. i would totally avoid mixing MY and HER friends if i can. OUR friends, no problem, but from experience, mixing friends doesnt end well. just saying, maybe she wanted to avoid that situation for reasons you dont know. Link to comment
DjSystemz Posted May 29, 2010 Author Share Posted May 29, 2010 But she mixes her friends with me all the time. Why dont I have the right to do it? Link to comment
punk76 Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 and by necessary i mean funerals or weddings Link to comment
Scylla Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 The next morning around 10am I talk to her and she tells me she wants to go out to a club tonight around 11pm. I tell her that I would go and it would be a good time to go with her friends and my friends. Then I bring up that we should all go to dinner around 7pm at this really nice restaurant near the club we planned on going. She told me that she didn't know yet. It seemed she was all gung-ho for going to a club until you said you'd tag along. Maybe she just needed a night without you? I mean, going for dinner with a bunch of you, then going off with her friends for the rest of the night. Link to comment
RedDress Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 For whatever reason it sounds like she doesn't like your friends or she has zero interest in knowing your friends. At 7 months, I would find this quite unacceptable, personally... I've never understood this mentality. If I like someone, I want to get to know their friends and family! Strangely, I have come accross other people like this too. I think she is in the wrong. I don't even know what you can do about it, either... If she doesn't really want to know your friends, even if you force her, I don't see her becoming close with your friends, anyways. Bah... good luck! The best you can do is confront her. Link to comment
punk76 Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 you do, i'm not stopping you. you said "a good time to go with her friends and my friends". if you meant common friends then thats different. if you were trying to integrate two groups of people that might not work, then i could see why someone would avoid it. and i was just guessing as to why she was acting weird. but obviously she doesnt like restaurants and does like clubs. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 I think she's definitely in the wrong here. I personally couldn't wait to meet my SO friends when we were dating. There were previous BF's that in my opinion took too long to introduce me to their friends or didn't at all & I knew something was "wrong" so I'm not sure why after 7 months she still hasn't hung out with any of them at least ONCE? Hmmmm... Link to comment
Ac143 Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 you do, i'm not stopping you. you said "a good time to go with her friends and my friends". if you meant common friends then thats different. if you were trying to integrate two groups of people that might not work, then i could see why someone would avoid it. and i was just guessing as to why she was acting weird. but obviously she doesnt like restaurants and does like clubs. Who cares if she doesn't like restaurant (if that's even true) lol the point is she is avoiding hanging out with OP's friends...why?? It is such a big deal to go out to dinner with his friends? Knowing it will make your BF happy? I would think NOT... Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 She tells me she has too much school work and she needs the time to do it because it's due Monday night. Note that today is Friday and she is a Freshman at a Community College and only taking two very basic classes and she currently doesn't have a job. Although it is sort of strange that she hasn't met your friends yet, you didn't say if you had tried to introduce her before or not? I don't think either of you are necessarily in the wrong. She's guilty of poor time management, maybe . . . I tell her that I would go You told her or she invited you? Maybe she just wanted to do her own thing that day . . . ? Link to comment
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