Quit seeing a guy....seemed like no interest?

[anjabars]

Alright, I met this guy from online who I had been talking to for over 3 months. Are first date was about 5 weeks ago and we had been out 5 times in those 5 weeks (1x week average). In between the dates we had, we never communicated. I would text him and he wouldn't respond until the next day or hours later. No I do not expect the person to be overly clingy but when you like someone don't you want to see/text/call them as much as possible? Anyways, on the dates we went on he never gave me any compliments (your pretty, you look nice, I really like you, etc..), out of the 5 dates he only paid for one (went dutch on the other ones). I was raised where whoever does the inviting usually pays. In the past when I've gone out with guys I've always offered to pay half when they grab for the check, he never grabbed for the check. I always had to. He also never tried to touch me, kiss me, or anything. He has never been in a relationship but either have I and I still know about dating.

 

Anyway last night I tried calling him after the date to end things, of course he didn't get his phone so I sent him an email. I told him I thought he was a nice guy but I just didn't feel the connection. I felt guilty all day......I don't really know why? I did like him, or I wouldn't have gone on that many dates with him. I was just sick of him not expressing how he felt or anything for that matter. I got the vibes from his actions he wasn't interested. Why do I feel guilty? If he didn't like me or didn't feel anything why would he keep going on dates with me?

[JusticeLaw9]

You've done all you can do. If he isn't interested then there's no changing his mind about that. It's been a couple dates and things just haven't gone anywhere as you've mentioned. Nothing to feel guilty about, that's just way it goes sometime.

[cazmoore]

I'd say consider yourself lucky. I think it's normal to feel guilty, but honestly, when someone's interested in you, you know! You just know. You may not have been the only person he was going on dates with (hence him not paying for the full bill even when asking you out on the date - I believe in the same thing). This leaves you more room to find someone else you'll have a stronger connection with. At least you know what you DON'T want, and you're not years into a relationship..

 

 

It's just the way things go. Roll on to the next

[BriarRose]

You have a lot more patience than I do. I would never communicate for 3 months with someone with no date (unless they were LD). But I don't think you should feel guilty. He was not acting as if he was willing to put forth much effort into getting to know you better or moving things forward. You did the right thing. And unless he's dense, he knows why you said what you did.

[catfeeder]

I hope you'll feel better soon, as you have nothing to feel guilty about. The whole reason to date is to find a great connection with someone. While it would be great if we could all just find that click with the first person we date, odds are against that--and there's no sense in trying to build something out of nothing.

 

I'd suggest spending less time online before meeting your next date. Why invest all of that energy on a computer screen when the only way to really test a connection is to connect?

 

Head high, you're better for the experience. This is how people learn how to date!

[BriarRose]

I hope you'll feel better soon, as you have nothing to feel guilty about. The whole reason to date is to find a great connection with someone. While it would be great if we could all just find that click with the first person we date, odds are against that--and there's no sense in trying to build something out of nothing.

 

I'd suggest spending less time online before meeting your next date. Why invest all of that energy on a computer screen when the only way to really test a connection is to connect?

Head high, you're better for the experience. This is how people learn how to date!

I agree completely. A few emails and/or phone calls at the most.

[Iakasot]

You told him how cute HE looked? You tried to pick up the check(whole)? You tried to touch or kiss him?

 

Maybe he got the vibes from your actions that you weren't interested. You could feel guilty because he was getting to know you at his own pace and he's a good guy. He's the one who asked you out, so obviously he's interested. Maybe you feel guilty for jumping the gun and likely misinterpreting his actions. I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of him spending MORE money on the dates than you did, but you somehow interpreting that as lack of interest.

[bar35]

I can understand your frustration with the way that things turned out, but you did spend a long time talking with the guy online before actually connecting with him, so maybe the dating was going to take a long time too. I dunno.

 

Anyway, i always feel guilty when ending a relationship of any duration, I think that it is because we know how painful it is to have someone reject us, and we realize that they are probably feeling similarly when we reject them.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself.