I think something's wrong with me

[Duderanomi]

Alright, I don't think there's an easy way to start with this but here goes anyway.

 

I'm a pretty cheery guy I suppose, pretty sociable, I lead what I think is a pretty balanced and regular life. The problem is that I think I may be depressive or something like it.

 

I've got no idea what a depression feels like, but I doubt it's what I feel. See, it all started back in high school, I'd get the blues usually in fall, which I assumed was normal, given the human tendency to get depressed during that time of year. By blues, I mean, I'd be constantly bored, and I wouldn't want to do anything even if I was extremely interested in it before.

 

This went on for a few years, but it's becoming more and more frequent. Last semester it happened because I was stressed from school and work and etcetera and sometimes one event will spark another, let's call em mini-depression. Usually they last for a few weeks, and I usually know when they hit me because of that ultimate boredom and the lack of enthusiasm for anything. The weird thing is that I know when they're coming but I've got no idea how to fix it.

 

Back in my foolish days I tried drinking to forget about it and it made things worse, and now I'm worried that it might be making things too shaky with my girlfriend because it has in the past. She's very genuinely concerned about me and I think it really bothers her that she can't help me when it happens.

 

I'm just really tired of feeling this way everytime some kind of crisis enters my life, so I was hoping someone out there could help me out. I hope I explained it thoroughly enough.

 

Thanks in advance.

[Eh Im Canadian]

Just so you know, that is depression. I don't know about human tendencies to be bored around fall, I am generally pretty happy. School starting may suck, but it doesn't suck as much as most people say it does. Regardless of whether or not you have to learn hanging out with your friends is still fun. You are just feeling jaded toward different things because you don't know what you want to do. My advice is just keep doing new things until you find something you like, then keep trying so you keep the cycle of "interest" going. Hope you find what you are looking for.

[tainted_soul]

i agree that you probably have some form of depression, though you describe it more as boredom instead of guilt or worthlessness, the reason i think that is because you say you have no motivation for things you normally enjoy.

 

i can't tell from your post exactly when you are feeling depressed...if you are always feeling depressed in the fall and winter then it is possible that you have a form of depression called seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

 

being depressed is different than having depression. everyone gets depressed every now and then. if you are depressed for no reason, or if you are depressed beyond rational explanation over little things, then you should think about talking to someone about it.

[Lily04]

Yeah, I can somewhat relate..I often feel more down in the wintertime, not really in the fall though, I'm usually more motivated then because school is starting. But around winter because of exams & the weather I feel more lazy and bored..this year I know I was definitely depressed for reasons beyond just that (school mostly, I felt like I had no control over my marks..among other things) but umm, how I got over that..I wrote a lot, and hung out with friends when I was really anxious which helped..I couldn't confess what was going on, but I just played a fun boardgame & allowed myself to forget my worries and it really helped. I played until 3:00 a.m. I think, until I was so tired I couldn't think about it, even if it seeped back into my mind. The problem with me is I freak out too much & can't get to bed until I swipe whatever's bothering me off my mind..hence there were many times last semester I didn't get to bed until 7:00 a.m. or not at all..hopefully you don't have problems with that.

 

I don't really know what to suggest..for me, I have to feel an inner sense of contentment; if something is lingering in my mind I have to solve it or else I'll feel depressed until it's solved. So if something in particular is bothering you, try to improve it, or solve it somehow, prioritizing your goals. If it's schoolwork that's getting you down mostly, then just try studying more & getting As again, or at least having that good feeling of control over your life. Perhaps an organizer will help..it helps for me sometimes.

 

good luck..hope that helped..

 

lily04

[Duderanomi]

Well, my way of coping with this has always been to find something "new" that will get me enthusiastic again, stuff like paintball, a new computer game, special event with my girlfriend, and so on. The thing is that I've run out of things to distract myself.

 

Even when I'm with friends or with family, I feel obliged to put up the image that I'm having fun even though I just want to sleep all day and all night until I feel better.

 

As for when exactly I get depressed, it happens everytime around or a little after my birthday, which is early november, often christmas will get me out of the rut but it didn't this year. I've also gotten it during schooltime when school and work forced me to have little to no free time. Also got it when I bought my car, which I love by the way, and it was really weird because people were more enthusiastic about it than I was. I think what started that one was the fact that money would be tighter with car payments. I had financial problems back then.

 

Right now I think I feel this way just because things have gone downhill again with my girlfriend, she hangs up on me all the time, doesn't care about talking to me anymore, and we haven't made love in 2 or 3 weeks.

 

Weirdly enough, the way I coped with the last bout of depression (since we're agreeing that's what it is) was with a board game with my friends that we played till the wee hours of morning like Lily04, that game being Risk. I've always been quite the nocturnally active guy, my friends too, so we usually play 2 games starting in the evening.

 

There doesn't seem to be a specific thing that sets it off, I'd be willing to wager that it's completely random myself.