Jennibean Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 So I just came back from the doctors and heard some devastating news. I thought I was coming in to verify a hemmrhoid problem, only to be told that the growth may actually be herpes. Im devastated. Does anyone have any experience with this? I have 7-10 days of pure hell while the results get back. I feel like my life will be over if I get this diagnosis. What are the odds of getting herpes 3 months after an oral sex session? I now have a new relationship, how on earth do I tell him? Would you date someone with herpes? Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 A huge number of people have herpes. I have HSV 1 (although I don't know if I have it orally or genitally because I have never had an outbreak) I'm very up front about it and it has never cost me a partner. I know it can seem scary but it's not a big deal. The first outbreak is normally the worst you will ever have so it will only get easier from here. If you do have it your new partner should be tested too. A lot of people have it and don't know they do because they don't have outbreaks or they didn't recognizes the original out break. So your new partner needs to get the blood test (I need to look it up but there is only one test that can tell if you have herpes while not having an outbreak it's also the only test that can tell if you have HSV1 or HSV2) More people have herpes then don't. Link to comment
Jennibean Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 Are you sure? what about marriage-wise? will a guy really be willing to use a condom for the rest of his life? Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Are you sure? what about marriage-wise? will a guy really be willing to use a condom for the rest of his life? Some might. My partner has HSV2 genitally and we have unprotected sex. He has had it for 22 years and has never given it to anyone. He has an outbreak every three years or so and when he is having one we just don't have sex. I got HSV1 from kissing a friend but I could still contract HSV2. Not only are there a ton of people who already have it (so wouldn't be worried about contracting it) ideas about it are changing. You might run into people who get freaked out by it but I swear most people who are freaked out have never done the research and truly don't know anything about it. Would you date someone who has had cold sores? Because they have herpes and they can give it to you genitally. People have both HSV1 and HSV2 orally and most people who have cold sores have never had the blood test to find out which they have. If you count oral herpes that is well over half the population. Chances are you have already dated someone with herpes. A lot of people don't know they have it and a lot of people don't feel like they need to tell partners that back in the 6th grade (before they where even sexual) they had a cold sore. Like I said. I've never had an issue with it. But I ask all my new partners to be tested for it as well (It has happened in a couple cases that the new partner already had HSV1 or 2 and just didn't know it) Link to comment
Jennibean Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 Thank you rosephase, it gives me hope, but Im still nervous about telling him. I just dont want to lose such a wonderful guy, and I know Ive had my negative assumptions about the virus. Do you think I got it from the isolated oral sex incident 3 months ago or from the sex I had just a couple days before symptoms arose? Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 I would wait till you get the results of your test before telling him. There is still a chance you might NOT have herpes. Link to comment
Jennibean Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 True, Im jumping the gun, it could be nothing. I wont say anything until I know for sure if I have it Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Thank you rosephase, it gives me hope, but Im still nervous about telling him. I just dont want to lose such a wonderful guy, and I know Ive had my negative assumptions about the virus. Do you think I got it from the isolated oral sex incident 3 months ago or from the sex I had just a couple days before symptoms arose? Your first outbreak is normally a pretty short period of time from being exposed. But it can change a lot from person to person. Was the sex you had protected? Do you know if either of your sexual partners test positive for herpes? To be honest my guess would be, if you got it, you got it from the more resent sex act. Link to comment
Jennibean Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 No the sex was not protected. He pulled out after a few seconds. Both guys claim they are free of any kind of STD... Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 No the sex was not protected. He pulled out after a few seconds. Both guys claim they are free of any kind of STD... The problem with herpes is you can go in for an STD screen and unless you ask for a herpes test you won't get one. A lot of people assume they don't have it simply because they don't notice symptoms. Link to comment
Jennibean Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 This is the very reason why I waited til 24 to lose my virginity I guess theres nothing left to do but wait... Link to comment
digger11 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 I actually ask people that I am dating if they get "cold sores" because I've never had anything and I don't want to contract it... This way, if they are having an outbreak, then I know not to engage in oral sex, or wherever the outbreak is. I can't believe some people don't tell just because they aren't having an outbreak. It's MY sexual health, and people should let me make my own informed decisions. Link to comment
freeadvice Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 I think its fair to ask if someones had cold sores. Fact of the matter is herpes is common. It sucks and its scarry. As rose said they won't even test for it unless u specifically ask for it or if your showing symptoms. You could have gotten this years ago and its just showing now. Either way try not to worry about it. If you have it be honest about having it and try to be careful about not spreading it. Don't be worried or blame yourself though. Nothing you could have done about it. Link to comment
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