ToBeOrNotToBe Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 I've been talking to this guy online for the past 2.5 years. Now for the past year almost everyday. My parents are okay with it and I have seen him on webcam many times. I've even talked to his parents, I've seen pictures ect. So i'm positive hes who he says he is. ( hes 19 and i'm 18) So now that I got that info out of the way...Heres with the problem comes in. When I first started talking to him he said he loved me after only a few weeks. At the time i'm not even sure i liked him that much because i talked to tons of guys and I wasn't a very nice girl. I did alot of things I shouldn't have done lying and cheating. A year later I realized what a wonderful guy I had in front of me. Yeah hes a little overly religious but I still care for him. So...I told him about everything I did and apologized and said I would make it all up to him. He didn't take it to good...I mean who would? I was flirting and cybering with other guys online and lord knows what else I did I try to forget. I vowed to never do it again and told him the truth ABOUT everything. In the end he forgave me. After that I started to act differently though kind of paranoid? idk? whenever I had a bad thought about something or remembered something I did I would HAVE to tell him it was the only way i could feel better. I developed a horrible guilt problem and I think I had a slight case of pure OCD. He would listen to every bad thought and or memory. Give me constant advice. I just didn't understand why I had to tell him everything because I know it hurt him a little I was doing it just to make myself feel better I think...which is kind of selfish. After a while I got past the guilt and constant need of reassurance/confessing. Then I started doubting my love for him and the thought of breaking up just randomly popped into my head. Which is ridicilious because I know I never want to break up with him. Yeah back then I Did some bad things but hes grown on me. I'm going to be meeting him in a few weeks and my parents are totally okay with it. However, he says he still hasn't found a job but hes made some money so i'm worried he won't make it here. Now a few days ago (during one of my rather emotional times) he said hes worn out and needs to take a breather??? Does he mean just a nap or a breather from our relationship?? i'm so confused he said he has to put up with alot with me. and it stresses him out. But then he says he loves me and i'm the one for him and i'm so beautiful its just confusing. I call him everyday...I guess i'm to clingy I was thinking maybe if i didnt call so much he would miss me? and think me more interesting the next time i call? Its getting hard i'm making myself wait 3-4 days without calling him. I closed my eyes and chucked the phone into my disordered closet hoping I wont be able to find it if I can't stop myself from calling him. I guess I just need help with this relationship in general, about the things i've done the psychological wars I put myself through. And a much needed answer for this question that could solve almost everything.... How do you know if you love someone please try to answer this question and give me some advice on my relationship... Thank You Link to comment
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