BJ's and a cuddle, but no sex!!!!!!

[wowwow]

The guy I have been seeing has had issues with PE, especially when we have sex. I really like him so much. We have been together sexually about 12 times and only two of the times have had sex and this is after he has cum twice through BJ's and he came in about 3 minutes both those times. So today we had a couple hours together and he just wanted a BJ and to cuddle. He knows I don't like oral that much. It seems he has gotten into this me giving him BJ's most of the time unless we have plenty of time to get him off before.

 

I hate to bring it up as he obviosuly has an issue and must just think I understand. He is about 4 or 5 inches to boot. Has anyone ever encountered a problem like this.....I NEVER have!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

This is your post from May 4th. Is it the same guy?

[wowwow]

Yep....we talked and owrked thru that issue, but the other issue still exists.

[doejan]

There is a serious imbalance there. It's all about him...pleasing him and giving to him. He doesn't seem interested in giving to you physically. How is he outside of the bedroom? I would take a few days if I were you and really assess the balance in your relationship. I get the impression you're not getting back what you put out. It's the same issue that brought things to a halt in my relationship. At some point you'll get so tired of it and something will give...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

This guy doesn't want to have intercourse with you and when he does he is quick so he doesn't really pleasure you...he also expects BJs even though he knows you are not into it. He wants the cuddles and to be pleased sexually but doesn't really return the favour. This is a casual relationship and he has had two women publicly berate him for being a jerk and he claims they are into him but he is not into them. I wonder if he says the same about you to other women...hence he is not engaging in sexual intercourse but simply demanding that his sexual needs get met. You may really like this guy but it sounds to me like this guy is a 42 year old player who just uses women and when they get angry he passes it off as if they are crazy. Are you sure this guy is worth your time?

[jessica911]

don't be with him, he is using you. Everything is him, and nothing for you.

[wowwow]

I think he is intimadated by sexual relations. He lost 30 lbs and leaves a t-shirt on during sex. He has taken it off once and was very uncomfortable. Also, I think he comes so fast during intercourse that he feels less than a man. There is a lot here. He loves bj's and to cuddle. That is his thing. He comes as soon as it goes in with vaginal sex and like I said needs to come a couple times before to last 3 to 5 minutes. He does not talk about it and I have not said anything because I do not want to hurt him. I am seeing other men and seeing him. I consider him a friend and do not want a relationship with him at this time and maybe never.

 

My question is how do you resolve PE issues such as this????? I am sure this has been going on with him for a long time and maybe is the cause of him dating women, but not really into them as he cannot perform so well.

[Gath]

Are you using a condom? For me personally non-thin condoms dull sensitivity enough that it can take forever. I've heard there is also numbing gels that supposedly help guys last longer (although naturally it won't feel quite as good). If its not a physical problem, a guy can also build up "stamina" by training his body to last longer. Go until he's about to blow, then stop. That sort of thing, but it takes willpower and an understanding partner, and I doubt it would happen quickly.