WhatSetsUs Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Hey everyone, It's been awhile since anything new has happened in my breakup situation, til this weekend at least. This may turn out to be real long and wordy, but I really hope you guys can read this and give me some advice. A brief background: -We dated for about three years. -We broke up for the first time in December 08. Never really separated completely and eventually got back together during the summer of 2009. -We stayed together til February 2010 where she broke up with me for the second time. -I made one attempt to beg and plead with her a week after we broke up, but following that I went strict NC. I decided that I should make the most of this breakup and sought to learn all I could from it. I immediately went into counseling and had been going every week for this entire semester. I am a truly different person than I was before and feel like this semester I grew up and matured a whole lot. -I was in NC for 52 days until I broke it. I spent much of April attempting to open communication between us. It was mainly small talk and nothing about the relationship or us in general but I definitely broke NC in hopes of one day getting back together. -After a few weeks of talking, I decided that it wasn't worth it any longer to try and get her back. Went back to NC, which lasted 10 days. All of that brings me to this weekend. On Thursday morning I received a text from my ex saying "Hi! I have a question." I had just gotten out of my first final exam and didnt really know what to say, so I didnt answer and instead took a nap. When I woke up I had another text from her saying "Hello???" So I gave in and asked her what was up. She asked me if later on she could come over and say hi to me and my roommates. I go to school 2.5 hours away from home, so I was completely shocked to find out that she was on campus. Eventually I said she can come over. Later that day she came over and said hi to all of us. She actually ended up hanging out at my apartment for about 2 hours. I was surprised at how comfortable we both seemed with each other. We caught up on a bunch of things, and there was even a little bit a flirting, which came as complete surprise to me. Things got a little weird when I showed her my tattoo. Its my first tattoo but I never told her I got it. It was something I wanted to do to symbolize all that I had learned about myself this year and because we hadnt been talking at all, I didnt feel like I needed to tell her about it when I got it. Well her reaction was very strange. She seemed to get really sad, and it even looked like she was beginning to get emotional at one point. I tried to feel her out for what she was thinking but she just said it was cool. I tried to shrug it off as best I could, and eventually I just let it go. We hung out for a little longer and eventually she left. About 20 minutes later I get a text from her saying "It was really good to see you I send her one back saying the same thing. I told her hopefully we will see each other again before she goes back home. She agreed and wanted to catch up more. We continued to text back and forth the rest of the day. By night time, she had began drinking and she sent me a weird text, "will you be mad if I drunk text you?" I say of course not. So the rest of the night she texts me random things about her night. Eventually she starts texting me about my tattoo. She says that although she thinks it real cool, “its just weird to me for so many reasons.” I ask why and she says that “its just awkward to talk about.” I don’t want to push it so I say that hopefully we can talk about it some time soon. Late that night another weird text exchange occurs: Her: it feels weird being here and not sleeping with you. You don’t have to respond to that. Me: I'm gonna choose to respond to that. But only cause its really weird to me too. You weren't the only one thinking about that. Her: okay good. I didn’t want me saying that to be wrong. Me: Lol nah, I've been thinking about that kind of stuff all day. Her: me too… I didn’t even know what to think about all that...Eventually we say goodnight to each other... So yesterday she texts me and asks if I wanna go to lunch. I was at the gym so I tell her maybe we could just see each other later in the day. She says sure and that she would do whatever. When I get back to my apartment I invite her to hang out with me and my roommates at the pool. So for a few hours we hang out by the pool. It was really fun just being there with her. I eventually get a chance to ask her about why she was acting so weird about my tattoo. She explained that it was weird to think that after we broke up, life went on for both of us. She was also surprised that things seemed to just pick right back up between us even though we have been broken up for almost 4 months now. I tell her that I did a lot of changing and maturing this semester… Eventually I leave the pool and we go our separate ways for a while. We still continue to text for the rest of the day. Eventually she comes back over to hang out some more. We spend some time together just talking about things, catching up, etc. it all feels really good to just talk with her. Later though all of my friends come over. Theyre her friends too but it was the first time any of them had seen her since last semester. I could tell things got a little weird for her and I wasn’t sure if it was my fault for being too close to her or what. Later when she left she texted me and told me that it was a bit overwhelming because in that scenario (with all of our friends together) she was always my girlfriend. Obviously that’s not the case now so it was a little weird for her. I end the night drinking and texting her. I kinda get carried away and tell her she should come over and hang out with me more. She insists that shes too tired and I push a little more. Eventually I quit pushing, but looking back, I realize I probably shouldn’t have put myself out there that much and probably looked kind of dumb lol. I know that I've written a lot here but I could really use some advice. This was the first time in 4 months since we've seen each other face to face and the first time since we broke up that we've had any meaningful exchanges with one another. It really felt like there is still so much between us and it got me thinking that reconciliation between us is possible. I'm just not exactly sure how to go about doing it. I'm still taking finals at school until next week, but once I'm home I can see my ex a lot more if I choose too (and if she lets me lol). So what do you guys think? I know that for any reconciliation to occur I am going to have to make the initial push to make it happen. But I really do think its possible at this point, and I'm actually kind of surprised of how it is. Anyone have advice for me? I really do want to get back with her and I need advice on maximizing my chances. THANKS so much guys. Link to comment
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