hurteverytime4 Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I am 100% straight but I am known as the "gay" friend. I dont consider myself amazing looking. I have more "girlfreinds" then I do guy firends. Most of the girls that I am good freinds with say "I would date you but I cant risk our freindship". "You are an amazing person and have a so much respect for you, you are a great guy". My problem is I'm single and I dont want to be. I just ended a mess of a "relationship" with one of those friends who was "ending" a poor relationship of her own. Of course I dont want to date my friends! I'm not the type of guy of wants to "hockup" and be done. I love commintment and I want a relationship. Girls dont come running to me and Im not good at going to them. My shortest relationship was 8 months and my lostest was 4.5 years. Im the type of guy that wants to come home and snuggle after work and that attitude doesnt seem to take me that far. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy partying at times and I'm very outgoing. Every girl I seem to get close to, I end up starting a good friendship. What am I doing wrong? How do I get grils to see who I really am? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger11 Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I wish I had gril friends! Then we could enjoy some delicious burgers, beers, and steaks together.... maybe there isn't a connection and that is their way of letting you down nicely? Or maybe you're not aggressive enough? (making your intentions clear) I was thrown off by a guy who liked me, but was too passive and "slow" for my liking. Relationships come when you least expect. be patients! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citlali Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I think maybe they're just not interested in you romantically. I know everyone is different, but I am not dissuaded from dating a guy just because we were first friends. If I do find him interesting and worth the while, I will make a move. If they haven't and say, "I don't want to ruin the friendship," then maybe they really aren't interested, at least not enough to jeopardize the friendship. That doesn't mean you can't find ANYONE. It just means you need to look elsewhere. You will find someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikNomis Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I'd say the problem is that you're developing a friendship before a romance. It sounds like you're getting friendzoned everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 stop making friends with girls you want to date. if you go for it and they say they see you as a friend, move on. causes less heartache and you won't be that guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 It took me a while to realize that female friends are a very good thing to have. I call a female friend an "inside man" this means because you have female friends you are already "pre-screened" so a girl thinks that you are a good guy. Use you female friends as a way to meet other girls, tell them to set you up with cute girls that they know. In essence use them as a resource. As another has said, stop being friends with a girl after they reject you, tell them that you arent trying to develop any more friendships. An easy way of doing this is to state you intentions (with your actions) right away. Also if your going out/dating a girl then do not try and be her friend first, remember that you are trying to date her and not form a platonic friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citlali Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 A guy can get friendzoned right off the bat. It doesn't matter if he first started a whole friendship. If he is being friendzoned, then it most likely means those girls in particular wouldn't date him and would rather be friends, period. That doesn't mean that he can't first start friendships that then lead to romance. It all depends on whether the girls feel they could date him at all or not, which they could decide at any point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikNomis Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Yes, but often it takes a flirtacious action from the other side for one to realize that they could be a potential romance. Too often guys have a logic of slowly easing into a girl's heart, so he does not let her know that he likes her. Then she starts to deny that he could possibly be into her, and therefore puts him in the same category, the nonromantic. That is why it is important that guys don't try to "play it safe" and conceal their interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citlali Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 I don't know how other girls work, but the fact that some guy doesn't show interest in me doesn't mean I stop thinking he is dateable. I simply think he isn't interested in me at that time, but that doesn't mean that if he were later on to show interest in me that I wouldn't date him then. The attraction to a guy is either there or not, independent of what the guy feels about her. The key is WHY she puts him in the 'nonromantic' zone. If she puts him there because she just isn't attracted to him and sees him as a friend right off the bat, then no matter how much interest he shows right away, she won't date him. If she puts him there only because he didn't show interest right away, but she would date him if he did, then he can easily be put into the romantic category later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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