Jealousy due to experiencing new things without each other?

[SocialStigma]

Can anybody relate?

 

Guess I should introduce myself first though I've been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years. We started dating our junior year of high school when we were barely 16 and have been together ever since, now turning 20 (just finished our sophomore year of university). We have gone off to different universities hence why we are LD now. However, we don't get summers back home together due to the nature of his program, he's in a co-op engineering program so every 4 months he either has school or work. It just so happens that this Jan-April, he had his work term so now May-Aug he is back at school while I'm home for the summer (and Sept-Dec he will be at work while I'm at school).

 

He's never been much of a dancer and pretty much only danced because I wanted to dance with him in high school. Right now he is at a club (his first time ever). He wasn't going to go but his best girl friend and another girl friend begged him to come out for a bit. His roomies also decided to go so he did too. I feel irrationally jealous because he's experiencing something new and I can't be there. We've never been to a bar/gone out for a drink together either because we're both pretty much only social drinkers and only do it at university with friends. Is it stupid of me to be jealous because he's doing something new and I can't be there to share in the moment?

[jessica911]

i know how you feel, like how my ex wanted to learn how to cook, but i can't be there to share the food with him or help him. it doesn sux

 

if he calls you after the parting, then youre not really alone, at least he shares his night with you by words.

 

if he doesn't do that, then i'm so sorry, hope youll feel better soon.

[jengh]

I completely understand!!! I think it's a very normal thing to feel, especially since you were together for awhile before becoming long distance. Not only that, but you're both young and starting to experience adulthood for the first time and passing these milestones without the other present can be difficult.

 

My boyfriend and I had similar difficulties. We would get so irrationally jealous of the other and because we lived on different continents at the time, we couldn't even keep in contact throughout the event. It sucked... the thing that worked for us was recounting the event later on, we would take photos for one another to share. For example, if one of us went out of town, we'd photograph the car journey so it would almost be like the other was there. Just little things like that.

 

I am sorry though, it sucks. Try not to let it get to you, it can really eat away at you if you let it.

[OptomisticGirl]

Yep, been there.

 

It's one of the pit falls of a LDR, anything new one of you experiences (shoot, even a day to day experience) can't be experienced together. All you can do is have great communication and talk it through when those times come up because as long as you are in a LDR, they will be there.

[SocialStigma]

Yeah, I think that's it. We went through a lot of high school milestones together (prom, applying to universities, getting into universities, deciding on residences, moving to school, etc). I think I just miss that. I was feeling down knowing that we wouldn't be able to do the same with university.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies, makes me feel better knowing it's not TOO irrational of me. He texted me when he got home to let me know he was home, that he loves me and to call him if I was awake but I was asleep and didn't hear it. Guess I'll hear all about it later today