Am I being immature or childish?

[Sukichan]

Hey everyone!

 

So, me and the ex have been broken up for... around 9 months or so, I really can't remember. Now, before we started going out, and everything, we shared a mutual group of friends. Recently, one of them asked me if it was okay for our group to all get together and do something, including me and the ex. I told that person that I'd rather never see the ex every again.

 

My reasonning in this is that I don't want to know about his life, nor do I want anything to do with him. And I am also scared of how I will react if I ever have to see him.

 

That being said, am I being childish or immature to refuse seeing the ex, even in a group setting?

[DanDee]

I don't think it's childish not to want to see him, especially if the relationship ended badly or he didn't treat you very nice. It's just you not wanted confrontation or bad memories raked up... not immaturity.

 

Depends on the circumstances of the break up really.

[d_lilah]

It's not childish at all, you are just protecting yourself. If the same scenario happened to me right now, I would act no different.

 

It only starts getting childish when you start making people choose sides or choose who they are going to invite to events. That's the only time when,imo, people start to look down on your behaviour, so try to steer clear from that.

[Jd1983]

I wouldn't necessarily say that it's childish of you.

 

If you're still not over him, then it's best that you not see him at all, even if that involves being in a group.

[Sukichan]

The thing is, that I want to see my friends, all of them, and I don't want them to have to organize something for me and the ex individually. Our group consists of the guys, which are more friends with the ex, and the girls, which are more friends with me. I'm not certain if I feel anything anymore, maybe still resentful that he ended it and whatnot. I'm not sure how I should act... Basically, I'm clueless.

[Jd1983]

Since you mentioned that you're more friends with the girls, why not gather a group of them for a girl's night out?

[sphx26]

I don't think it has something to do with being immature as much as it has to do with moving on. If you feel that seeing him would only bring back bad memories and make you feel bad then it is best that you avoid this kind of situation right now, however, if you feel like you're ready to see him then do so at your own risk.lol.

 

The benefit of seeing an ex is when you see them and you feel indifferent around them, which, in my case, is the ultimate sign of having moved on. Just my two cents.