I miss him so much...

[cherryberry123]

The breakup was back in September.

It's been months.

We are friends now.

He was the one guy I fell head over heels for.

I've been in previous relationships, but this feels different.

I want to marry him.

He gives me energy and strength. I feel weak today.

I feel depressed.

They say it gets easier everyday, how is that so? It's been months and I am still longing for him.

I want him here.

I want to give him a hug.

Why am I being tortured?

 

Please come back...

[Brigadoon]

Look at it this way Cherry; If you want him to miss you then you have to go through missing him.

If you satisfy every urge you get to see him or talk to him then YOU are holding HIM back from hopefully realizing that he misses you and that he needs to do something about it before it's too late and you've moved on.

Hold onto this thought when you feel your resolve slipping... You are giving him the gift of missing you; and the opportunity to see what his life is like without you in it.

 

Keep strong; what's for you won't pass you by

[cherryberry123]

I hate this.

 

I don't have the motivation to do anything anymore.

He made me so happy.

I am so tempted to drive to his house and give him a hug.

No words.

Just walk up and give him a hug.

I may not be able to resist my urges.

I feel like texting him "Matt...I miss you

 

I know a part of him misses me too.

 

I feel so out of it.

[sophie274]

It took me almost a year to feel anywhere close to "over" my ex, and even now (13 months after the break-up) I still have my moments when I miss him, although they are fewer and pass much more quickly.

 

I just glanced quickly over your past threads, and it seems like you've been trying to reconcile with him almost since the break-up, but have had no success. I think it's time for you to decide to put him in the past. I completely understand how strongly you feel about him, but if he's not interested then he's not the man for you.

 

About why you're being tortured: break-ups are incredibly tough, but you may also be torturing yourself. At this stage, being in touch with him, facebook friends with him, trying to be "friends" with him is only going to make it that much harder for you to heal. It's hard to grapple with the fact that you may have to cut off contact with someone whom you love and adore, but you need to protect yourself and give yourself a chance to be happy again, and I sincerely believe that distancing yourself from him will give you a better shot at that. You're never going to be satisfied with just being friends with him (maybe if you reconnect later in life, but not now), so there's really not much for you in this friendship. It's just tearing you apart.

 

The best anyone can do in a break-up, IMO, is to take the healthy actions that are good for your emotional and physical well-being, and hope that your emotions will follow. In general, that includes not being in touch with or seeing the ex, keeping up healthy habits and refusing to wallow, and doing things to remind ourselves of our own self-worth. Fake it till you make it - behave as if the relationship is behind you, and day by day it will move into your rear view mirror and then out of sight.

 

Personally, I kicked and screamed (metaphorically) and refused to stop contact with my ex, until I was so exhausted from trying to hard and getting nothing back that I felt ready to let go. I wish I had done it earlier, because that period when I kept trying was not pretty.

[sophie274]

I hate this.

 

I don't have the motivation to do anything anymore.

He made me so happy.

I am so tempted to drive to his house and give him a hug.

No words.

Just walk up and give him a hug.

I may not be able to resist my urges.

I feel like texting him "Matt...I miss you

 

I know a part of him misses me too.

 

I feel so out of it.

 

Yes you CAN resist. Think of all the amazing things you can do - if I knew you better I would list them, but I'm sure there are many - and then tell yourself that if you can do that, you can resist the temptation to drive by his house or text him. Not for the rest of your life - just for today. And then hopefully tomorrow and the next day.

 

The other thing is - picture yourself going to give him that hug. How would he respond? Will you feel better or worse? My lightbulb moment was when I realized that as much as I wanted to call or text my ex, I INVARIABLY, EVERY SINGLE TIME, 100/100 times, felt worse after having contacted him, because it just highlighted how much more I cared than he did. That's when I was able to tell myself - come on, Sophie, you're doing something over and over again that makes you feel just awful. No more.

[cherryberry123]

I don't know what I'm longing for.

To be honest, I can imagine him hugging me back.

That sounds so ridiculous, I know.

He still gets emotional around me.

I still made him cry.

When I hung out with him, I can sense he was happy to see me.

I felt like he still had lingering feelings.

I did go NC once for 2 months, but he contacted me.

 

I think I need to tell him.

 

I don't know why I'm typing like this. My mind is just jumping from one thought to another.

[j.love]

i so understand where your coming from cherry....i miss him too. but i like brigadoon and sophie's advice. give him the gift of missing you and do your best to resist the urge to make contact.

 

also you have to do what's best for YOU. and that might have to be initiated NC again, tell him why and begin the process of moving on.

[H20]

So...send him the text. Just don't expect anythung back. Expectations are premeditated disappointments. Just realize he may NOT feel the same way..or even care.