Is anyone else afraid that their exes will stumble across their thread

[cherryberry123]

I post a lot about my situation on here, and for some reason...I'm always afraid my ex will stumble accross one of them...

The threads I post have specific events so if he read it, he would probably know right away.

I have thoughts that run in my mind where when we hang out, he might bring up the threads..or ask me about them.

 

Am I just being paranoid? LOL Anyone else have this fear?

[shuttlefish]

Yes, yes, a 1000 times yes. Not just ex but anybody who knows me in real life.

[Computer Geek]

Absolutely. I had an old user for years which I posted but eventually decided to stop using it as someone could easily find out who I am. In addition, I had gone back and deleted many posts just because I was afraid of what someone might see.

 

So now instead I am using a very generic user to make my life simpler.

[Mauxly]

Not many people know about this site so I'm not too worried about someone I know finding this.

But it could be sad if they did. I've given too many clues as to who I am in my posts, and I've given my ex such a thorough lashing for his crud behavior I'd be mortified if any of his friends/family found this.

 

I needed to vent, not destroy his reputation.

 

I've wondered if he knows about this site. In our brief reconciliation period I caught him looking at the URL history on my computer. I deleted history and password protected my computer that night. And I thought...well...it isn't anything that he doesn't already know. If it hurts him to read any of this he probably shouldn’t look.

[foxbat74]

Not many people know about this site so I'm not too worried about someone I know finding this.

But it could be sad if they did. I've given too many clues as to who I am in my posts, and I've given my ex such a thorough lashing for his crud behavior I'd be mortified if any of his friends/family found this.

 

I needed to vent, not destroy his reputation.

 

I've wondered if he knows about this site. In our brief reconciliation period I caught him looking at the URL history on my computer. I deleted history and password protected my computer that night. And I thought...well...it isn't anything that he doesn't already know. If it hurts him to read any of this he probably shouldn’t look.

 

That is one the reasons people split - communications. Anything I would write here - I wouldn't hesitate to express directly to the person...if he/she is willing to listen

[Mauxly]

That is one the reasons people split - communications. Anything I would write here - I wouldn't hesitate to express directly to the person...if he/she is willing to listen

 

There is nothing on this forum about him/us that I he hasn't lived through with me or I haven't told him to his face. So, again, no real stress of him finding this. Again, I would be mortified if anyone he or we knew found this and figured out who it was. I used this site to vent and get help not to air his dirty (filthy) laundry.

 

I’m so very glad I went out and deleted the very first, the very original posts regarding our whole traumatic relationship. I’d started posting with full emotion and no thought at all toward privacy or how many lurkers are out there. Ugh…I know you guys hate it when people delete. But it is kind of important, especially for the emo-newbs who come on here to be able to go back and get rid of things that may hurt OTHER people. Now that I’ve been around for a while I try to be a bit more careful.

[foxbat74]

I do agree with you but sometimes I wish my ex would be lurking here. May be it would be easier to explain. She was absolutely deaf when something was inconvenient for her to hear.

[brandnewday47]

Oh yes, absolutely! Part of the reason I haven't put my full story out yet I will eventually though when there is less fog in the air.

[d_lilah]

I don't think I would care. Nothing I've posted is nothing he isn't aware of. He knows our situation, and if he did stumble upon it - my usernames are all pretty similar- then he could see others opinions on it as well. (but he is not very computer orientated, so it doesn't worry me in the slightest...unless I posted this on a football forum, he'd never stumble accross anything)

 

I came here because I was having a hard time, and this has been a pretty good outlet. I might not have said flattering things about him here, but there was a time I would have said them to his face. I'm glad I can vent here rather than making a fool out of myself.

 

One of my close friends knows I'm on here (she referred me) and if others seen, I guess I wouldn't overly mind. Even if my exes current gf decided to do a major stalk on me, ive got nothing to hide. Except to maybe prospective employers and prospective boyfriends, I suppose!

[AutumnBorn]

Not at all. My ex couldn't care less what I think or feel, so he wouldn't have any motivation to look. He's only looked at and for other women - usually on craigslist or another place he can hook up.

[Poetry Guy]

I do agree with you but sometimes I wish my ex would be lurking here. May be it would be easier to explain. She was absolutely deaf when something was inconvenient for her to hear.

 

A-freaking-men.

 

That one sentence right there captures my entire relationship with my ex and why I ended it all at the same time.

 

 

On a more thread-related note: yeah, I went through a period of time on here where it was a concern of mine and even reading through some of the other threads it sometimes sounded exactly like something my ex would say. I actually pulled this posturing pugilist photo out of my avatar for awhile but then put it back up because by that point, if she'd been here and read all of the things that I've had to say?

 

Well, too late for her anyways.

 

Ironic that she's fluent in sign language considering she sure as sh!t doesn't know how else to communicate.

 

You all can toss rotten vegetables at me now. :splat:

[Brigadoon]

Couldn't care less if someone found me on here.

It might actually be a good thing as (like most people) I find it difficult to be open with people when I have to look them in the eye and know that what I'm saying is hurting them.

I also had a pretty irregular upbringing and have always had a problem with accidentally recounting experiences that involve elements that other "normal" people are horrified by. That has left me with a real reluctance to explain the motivation behind some of my odder actions which leaves me in kind of a catch 22 situation whereby:

I tell them why I did it = they get upset (and I feel like I'm using the past as an excuse to behave like a tool).

I don't tell them why I did it = they think I just didn't give a toss = they get upset.

I think I'd actually be delighted if a SO found my stuff on here; at least he'd see what he was in for from some of my posts

[Convict7]

My ex(still hurts to say that) knows about the site and knows my name on here. When we were still working to be together she would peek on here to get a little insight on what made me say/do what I did. I really doubt she looks at my posts anymore. She's the one who doesn't want the relationship, why would she want to see all the pain it puts me through?

 

Even if she did check in here, I don't say anything that's not at least true at the moment. Sometimes I post in a flurry of emotions, but I'm not here to lie so it wouldn't change anything for her to see what I have said.