tiemyhands Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 We are Ina long distant relationship but he visits often. We have a great connection.. Never met anybodylike him in my life. We have been together for nearly 3 years. We have been through it all..he is my best friend my love.. My confidant.. He feels the same for me. He tells me and told his family that I'm the one he wants to spend his life with and marry and have children with one day. We have been through it all.. And made it throug eveything. There used to be issues about cheating but he was never unfaithful, girls just wanted him because he is in a band and making lots of money. But lately he has been distant. He told me how stressed he is.. That he regrets being in the music business even though it is his passion.. He regrets it because he can hardly make time for me his family and his adopted daughter (long story it's not his but she had no where to go so his family adopted her but he's the only one that takes care of her) he seems distant.. It's worrying me. I ask him if he's okay and he says 'yeah I'm okay' but I know he isn't.. What's going on? I don't think I am the problem.. I have been supportive through it all.. Is that how guys are? They don't talk about their problems? They take a break and do other things? I don't mind giving him space but seriously I want him to come to me and talk like he did last week. Is that the right thing? I don't think forcing him to open up will help anything.. I remember two months ago he was on vacation and we were on a break.. I wrote him an email because i realized how much I actually love him.. He never replied in 2 weeks he called me in the middle of the night he said he got all my emails. And he confessed that he loved me very much and couldn't wait to see me again. He said he was avoiding me not to be rude but to have more time to think... I noticed when I give him space.. He takes whatver time he needs to get right again.. Link to comment
tiemyhands Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 Anyone going to give advice.... Link to comment
alli Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 It's hard to say exactly why he is distant now. It could be that he is questioning the relationship, or it could be something else. Any chance he might suffer from depression? I think that can make people seem kind of distant. Relationships wax & wane a bit. Sometimes you are into it, and sometimes you just aren't as much. The distance doesn't help, nor does the fact that you guys have broken up before. Does the long distant part have a foreseeable end? Is there a specific date in the future that you will be living closer to each other? I would ask him 2 questions. Tell him you can tell he is acting distant & ask if he is questioning if he wants to be in the relationship? And the other question is, has he met someone else he might have feelings for. When you ask "Is everything ok" it's enough to answer "yeah everything's fine". But asking these questions directly, it's hard to lie. Also, sometimes they want to tell you these things, but it's easier when you bring it up than for them to say it out of the blue. Hard questions, but something you definitely want an answer to. Those would be my 2 main concerns with a distant partner, and if they answer them in a way that you feel they are being truthful it should probably put your mind at ease that maybe it's just been a stressful week. Link to comment
tiemyhands Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 Lol I'm scared he will screw me over again... Love is such a scary thing... I don't know what his intentions are and it sucks that it's long distance... I say "he won't cheat on you" but sometimes I don't believe that but then it makes me crazy and worry with fear.. Like right now... I'm kind of freaking out. Link to comment
alli Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Lol I'm scared he will screw me over again... Love is such a scary thing... I don't know what his intentions are and it sucks that it's long distance... I say "he won't cheat on you" but sometimes I don't believe that but then it makes me crazy and worry with fear.. Like right now... I'm kind of freaking out. Yeah, those are questions that you almost don't want to ask because you don't want to hear the answer. But just because you don't ask, doesn't mean it's not true. It could be nothing, but you won't know that until you ask. Link to comment
tiemyhands Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 He scares me. I've never loved anybody the way I've loved him.. What kind of feeling is that? When someone you love more then anything has the ability to make or break you? Like.. I am scared that everything will blow up in my face Link to comment
alli Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 He scares me. I've never loved anybody the way I've loved him.. What kind of feeling is that? When someone you love more then anything has the ability to make or break you? Like.. I am scared that everything will blow up in my face That's the hard part of being in a relationship. You have to get so close to the person that they could completely crush you (for a period of time). But if you don't get close & try to keep your distance, it sort of keeps the relationship from surviving. Maybe you should think more about what direction you want to take with your life if you break up. It hurts a lot for a short time, but eventually, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off & keep going. But before you get too freaked out about it, you should ask him. How long has he been acting like this? Link to comment
tiemyhands Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 Just.. Today... It's most likely from work and never being around his family and hardly having time to see me But I build this * * * * right now in my mind "he's cheating" Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.